I don't know if I love my boyfriend. How do you know if you love a person? A man who loves will not

THE ESSENCE OF THE PROBLEM:

I'm not sure I still love my husband. We've been living together for 10 years. How can I check this?

ANSWER:

Approach your sleeping husband at night, holding a pinch of salt in one hand and a glass of cold water in the other hand. Pour a glass of cold water on your husband’s head, and when he wakes up and screams, sprinkle him with salt, saying: “I love you - I don’t love you, I’ll press you to my heart - I’ll tell you to go to hell.” At what word you feel a slap from your husband, that’s what you feel for him!

In general, if you are ready for such tests, fortune tellers and other dregs, if you ask yourself whether you love your husband, of course, you need the help of a psychotherapist. Here it is important to understand what you mean by the concept of “love”. For most married couples“I love” is an expression of neurosis, when a person cannot be alone with himself and solves this problem at the expense of another person to whom he says “I love”. It was in this context that “love” was placed in the international classification of diseases, code F 63.9. If in 10 years you have overcome your dependence on another person, if during this time you have matured psychologically, then it is quite possible that this other person (your spouse) may become a burden and cause similar thoughts...

The biological context of “love,” or rather falling in love, is determined by hormones and manifests itself in passionate desire, which the strong half of humanity habitually voices with the word “love.”

“If it doesn’t hit, it means it doesn’t love” - in this archaic flavor, still relevant and glorified in gray shades these days, the concept of “love” includes elements of violence, humiliation and pain to achieve a more complete orgasm, because “the best sex - after a quarrel."

Further development of consciousness led to the fact that “love” was often referred to as “relationships” between people. “Relationships” imply a certain distance between self-sufficient individuals. If in 10 years, and sometimes in less time, two personalities merge into one large codependency, then there is no distance - no relationship - no love... Perhaps that is why among the Russian nobility (and not only) the house was divided into male and female halves. .. These “relationships” did not always turn out to be harmonious and often resembled “ego games”, so masterfully described by Russian classics (“Anna Karenina” by L.N. Tolstoy, “Demons” by F.M. Dostoevsky).

In whatever context we consider the concept of “love”, it is important to understand that first of all these are the emotions/feelings that you experience - from panic-fear, desire-passion to awareness of the Universe and divine grace in the case of true Love, which does not have nothing to do with Ego, jealousy, dependence, but on the contrary, it opposes these biological emotions.

You are what you love.

So, how can you check whether you still love your husband? The promised test!

1. Are you afraid to be left without him?
2. Do you desire him as a man?
3. Do you still have a relationship with your husband (including fear or contempt for your husband)?
4. Do you see God in your spouse's eyes?
5. Do you experience a state of awareness of the Universe?

If you answered “yes” to at least one question, then at least in one context of love you still love your husband, don’t doubt it!)

Online consultation with the author of the “Psychoalgorithm” method:

Galina Ilya Yuryevich! Thank you very much for your sessions, which I was lucky enough to take part in. Thanks to them, I have become more confident in many issues and situations that previously caused anxiety and concern. You taught me how to deal with this in a short period of time. It's a pleasure to deal with a high-level professional!

Anna Ilya Yuryevich, it is difficult to find words to express my gratitude to you for your help. I remembered in what state and with what thoughts I met last year, 2017. I remember those feelings of bitterness and anxiety that did not leave me under any circumstances. Finally, I left this desire for self-destruction and now I can breathe differently. Thank you!

Tatiana Thank you, Ilya Yurievich, for the consultation. Indeed, she allowed me to look at my life situation from a different angle. Thanks again!

Vladimir Thank you very much for the consultation! Indeed, I noticed that memories pop up at times when I was in a bad mood or irritable, but I could not understand that this was a defense mechanism. The next time he appears, I’ll try to talk about what exactly causes irritation, instead of plunging into memories.

Daria Many thanks for the help! I am very glad you helped me understand myself and showed me a new path to improve my life!

Love relationships are quite easy to build. There are a lot of men and women. You just need to choose a candidate with whom it would be interesting to have a relationship. However, girls often begin to doubt their choice. It is worth understanding that the time you spend on an unloved guy can no longer be returned. The situation becomes even more serious if a girl wants or suddenly becomes pregnant. You need to be sure that the girl loves the guy.

Since guys always date people they like, they don't have such problems. However modern girls They don't always choose guys for love. How to understand what feelings you have for your partner?

The nature of love

When people talk about love, they usually ask three basic questions:

1. Is human love purely subjective, the result of the emotional state of lovers in which they discover each other's virtues?
2. Is love a psychophysiological phenomenon or only a physiological one? Is it based only on sexual desire, as Freud argued, or does it not depend on physiological processes?
3. Is love a process inherent in human nature itself? Was it invented by him at a certain point in history or is it a literary invention?

Man does not care about preparing his intellect for the discovery of truth; he only endlessly confuses and complicates everything. People are not satisfied with easy solutions, preferring complicated, confusing knowledge. The more complex an idea, the more correct it seems to people who equate complexity with truth. But truth can be explained in terms that anyone can understand. The simpler the language is to describe certain phenomena, the more difficult it is for scientists to comprehend it, as if for them the open word is something like a code, designed to hide rather than reveal the truth.

Love is not a feeling. This is the power of the underlying principle, which can manifest itself in different ways: through attraction to certain people, through a feeling of tolerance and kindness towards one's neighbor, or passionate love for a person of the opposite sex. It is not a feeling, although it causes it: attraction and disgust, sympathy and hatred.

Love is a biological necessity because it represents pressure that encourages a person, depending on his own qualities and traits, to direct this force to simple sexual pleasure, reproduction, or to higher forms of self-realization.

Love is neither good nor bad. This is pure energy. Man himself gives it quality, directing it towards goodness, creation, brotherhood, or toward hatred, fanaticism, and destruction.

Love at first sight is never true, it is only a magnetic attraction between people of the opposite sex. True love is always the result of a conscious, guided process and is never born after the first contact.

Love means not only being liked, adapting to your loved one, helping, supporting, etc. Love also means contradicting the opinion of your beloved partner, getting angry, upsetting him, etc.

Love is both good and bad emotions. A loving person does good, but, if necessary, can be strict. Moreover, there are no families where utopia reigns. There are families where partners not only make each other happy, but also upset each other, create problems, and cause pain.

You need to not only make your partner happy and not only make his life easier, but also educate him, contradict him, hurt him, complicate his life, if this is appropriate and necessary. Difficulties force a person to act, develop, and learn to solve problems. And this, too, is all done with love.

Problems in relationships arise when you only want to please your loved one and there is a fear of judging him or quarreling with him. The world is twofold - and love is twofold: good and bad are a priori present in the life of any person. You can’t just please your loved one - this makes him lazy, infantile, thoughtless, passive, etc. By the way, only a mother can love a child unconditionally, without demands and punishments. Therefore, if a woman and a man show similar feelings, then this cultivates “children” in those they love, that is, they make their partners infantile.

Love is both giving and receiving; both allow and demand; both to help and to need help; both to be independent and to be dependent. In other words, love is the combination of two extremes together. It is a mistake to believe that love only means pleasing your loved one. If your love cultivates the negative aspects of his personality in your partner, then you are showing your feelings incorrectly. Love is aimed at improving the lives of partners, not making them worse. If someone becomes worse in a love relationship, then one or both partners are misunderstanding and expressing their love.

How to understand that you love your man?

Love is a multifaceted feeling that cannot be immediately recognized. Here we can say that a person constantly wants to be close to his loved one. Love also means the desire to start a family with a partner. However, all this can both prove and disprove love feelings. How can you understand that you love your man?

• At what stage is the issue resolved? If you just started dating a guy, then it will be very difficult to decide on your feelings. More often than not, people experience passion and love at the beginning of a relationship. However, we can talk about love only when gray everyday life begins in the relationship, the guy stops surprising the girl every day, they begin to live together, face difficulties and solve common problems. If even with all these monotonous and unpleasant events, respect and understanding remain for the guy, then you love.
• How comfortable are you with your guy? Sometimes people don't break up because of little things and a little irritation. Do they love or is it about something else? People stay in "uncomfortable" relationships various reasons. However, you can talk about love if you feel comfortable with your partner. You can discuss unpleasant topics with him, you don’t want to leave him after a quarrel, you solve problems together, etc.
• Do you see your boyfriend as bad or good? What shortcomings and advantages can you name in your partner? If you name only the virtues, then you are in love. If you talk mainly about shortcomings, then you are outraged, dissatisfied with your choice. However, a loving person can tell both bad and good things about his loved one. He sees him both with good and with bad side, and it still makes him love him.
• Do you see your old age next to your boyfriend? You can clearly determine your feelings by how much people are ready to meet their old age together. Is a man ready to see his beautiful woman old? Can a girl see her boyfriend next to her when she gets old and he can no longer do much for her? Love manifests itself when people are ready to stay with each other both in youth and in old age.
• Why did you build a relationship with the guy? If we're being honest, some girls may admit that they don't really want to be single. There are young ladies who start relationships in order to experience someone’s love for themselves. And there are ladies who intend to have a relationship for a short time. Love manifests itself when a girl not only wants a long relationship and family, but also sees as her betrothed exactly the guy she is already dating.
• Ask a guy if you love him. From the outside, you can also determine how a girl treats her boyfriend. As they say, if a person loves, you can feel it. The guy will feel that you love him. If he doubts, hesitates or constantly experiences discomfort, then this question will help resolve the conflict situation.

If you ask your partner’s opinion about whether he feels that you love him, you may find out that even if you sincerely love him, he does not feel it. Often disagreements arise in relationships only because the partners really love each other, but they just express their love incorrectly.

Ask your boyfriend what he needs to feel loved. Each person has their own criteria for how they know they are loved. If you comply with them, then your partner will feel your love. After all, love is a feeling that originates inside you, and manifests itself in the outside world through the fact that you please your partner in the way and way he wants.

It doesn't matter how stupid the behavior the guy wants to see from you is. If for him a sign of love is that you prepare him a meal every day, then make him happy with it. After all, girls are sometimes indignant because guys don’t do something for them. This is all because some beauty would love to receive flowers as a gift to feel loved.

Who do you love - the real guy or the image that you put on him?

Often people do not notice that they begin to fall in love with the images that they themselves create. Remember the natural desires of any person when he wants to remove shortcomings in his beloved partner, change him, live harmoniously thanks to the fact that both will adapt to each other.

When a man and a woman meet, they want to please each other. Those qualities and behavior that are welcomed and pleasing are put on display. There is already some cover-up and deception going on. As the relationship develops, partners show their unsightly sides, that is, shortcomings. Since a man and a woman are already fascinated by each other, they do not separate, but feel a natural desire to change in each other what is their shortcomings. An adjustment process is taking place. Sometimes it happens unconsciously, but sometimes partners deliberately decide to give in to each other in something and “bend in” somewhere, to deviate from their principles.

Deception (hiding the true face), manipulation in order to change the partner’s shortcomings, adjusting to each other - the question arises: why do people love each other? They, in fact, do not know their partners. In some ways they lie, in others they try to limit themselves, they infringe, etc. It turns out that the man and woman do not know each other. This is why they say it takes years to get to know another person. Who do people love: their partners or the images that they themselves create from them?

When entering into a love relationship, each person has his own image of a partner with whom he could be happy. Quite often, people look not at the personalities they actually meet, but at the images they are going to fashion from them. This is where the expressions come from: “I know what he can be like... She is good man, I know... I will do everything for him to change in better side" People do not see in front of them those with whom they actually build relationships. They see the images they are going to fashion out of their loved ones.

Often people love not each other, but the images and even roles that their partners play, just to avoid further scandals and disagreements. A man doesn’t cheat because he simply doesn’t talk about it. The woman smiles, although in her heart she feels bored and indifferent. People often play roles - they portray what their beloved partners want to see. For what? To maintain the relationship and avoid unnecessary quarrels, they were loved and caressed. Many, if not all, do this. A natural question arises: who do people love - their partners or the images that they molded from them, forcing them to play in order to maintain calm in the relationship? People probably don't like it. They are in love with what they would like to see in their partners if they were ideal and harmonious. But people are imperfect, deceitful and even selfish. They do not love anyone, but want to see what they will like.

Bottom line

You can easily get confused in your feelings. However, they are usually tested over time and after going through many problems, when the couple only strengthens with the appearance of difficulties.

Falling in love, the bright beginning of a relationship, the time of courtship - hormones play in the body, and the whole world seems kind and joyful. But time passes, and instead of the former delight, fatigue from the relationship appears. Only the shortcomings of the chosen one are striking, and you have to ask not the heart, but the mind: “How can you tell if you love your husband?”

How to make sure whether a wife loves her husband

To understand your attitude towards your husband, you need to understand what you are ready for for him. What troubles and misfortunes will you go through together, shoulder to shoulder? Below are a series of questions that require a yes or no answer:

• Can you trust this person with your life?
• Will you allow me to make important decisions for you?
• If he gets sick, will you be able to give away a kidney or part of his liver so that he can live?
• Would you give your life for your loved one?
• Are you ready to be with him if he ends up in wheelchair, care for him and support him in difficult times?
• Are you ready to see this person every day of your life?
• After spending time apart (for example, a month), will you miss, yearn for your husband and wait for his return?

If you answered yes to all these questions or most of them, then this is really love, and you should think about connecting your whole life with this person.

Rethinking Relationships

Most often, a woman asks the question: “How can I tell if I love him?” at the moment when the partners' feelings become dull. A person gets used to what surrounds him, and over time begins to see only shortcomings in his partner. In such a situation, you won’t immediately remember why you wanted your husband to always love you. Doubts about feelings can appear in two cases:

• Selfishness. So, the husband may be wonderful person and a family man, but instead of love in his wife’s soul there is emptiness. Then it’s worth thinking about how much effort is put into maintaining relationships. After all, sometimes a woman only expects something from her husband, forgetting that giving her partner attention is even more pleasant than receiving it.
• Grievances. It happens that the husband accumulates a large number of reasons for apologies, and then doubts arise about the feelings he experiences. It's not so easy to love when you expect an apology. In this case, you need to decide for yourself whether your husband deserves your love. And also remember why you fell in love with him in the first place. If he was able to win your feelings, then are his small mistakes and mistakes so important?

How to check if you love your husband

These simple actions will help you understand how strong your feelings for your partner are:

• Understand your emotions. Is the situation really that serious or is it just a short-term moral devastation? We all have bad days when it’s so bad that you don’t want to see anyone around. And you need to understand the difference between momentary annoyance with your husband and serious problems in the relationship.
• Decide what love means to you. You may have previously thought it was a strong heartbeat and sweaty palms. It happens that by switching to new stage relationships, people mistakenly consider this a cooling of old feelings. But for many married couples, love is finding peace and tranquility next to your partner.
• Remember why you fell in love with your husband. There were reasons for marriage, and now you just need to remember the first dates and the emotions experienced, conversations and plans for the future. This way you can understand what is now missing in your relationship and fix it.
• Imagine that your husband has disappeared from your life. What would it be like then? Yes, you still have family and friends, you have more time for hobbies and friends, but are you ready to live with emptiness where before he was always there?

What a married woman should remember

If long relationship in marriage began to turn into a routine, then it’s worth thinking about whether it was your fault. A good relationship requires effort on the part of both partners, but it happens that a woman lets problems that arise in marriage take their course, and then asks the question: “How can you tell if you love your husband?”

Listen to your partner. Men and women show their emotions differently, so your husband may not understand that you expect him to do something. Or he simply does not voice his opinion about family problems. You need to pay attention to your partner and talk directly about the relationship, improving it together.

He is not you. So, your husband's point of view may differ from yours. Try to look at the problem through your husband's eyes. Perhaps he has no idea that you are asking the question: “How can you tell if you love your husband?” and doubt your own feelings.

Don't live in illusions. Each family has its own ideal marriage, so you don’t need to look at your friends and adapt to their relationships. Start appreciating what you two are creating for your future.

Family is the whole world. By forming a family, you and your husband create your own space where you will be safe. No matter what difficulties befall a person, the mere knowledge that there is a place where they will be supported already gives strength. Therefore, it is worth fighting for your family and finding ways to solve the problem without destroying the already created relationships.

It's not always easy to know if you really love someone. But if you think that you cannot live without him, if he is more important than your own interests, then these are real feelings.

Women tend to doubt, because life always offers a choice, and sometimes making it can be very difficult. If representatives of the stronger sex are more decisive in building strategies and methods to achieve their goals, then ladies often simply rush from one temptation to another. If you can at least somehow decide on the purchase of a new skirt or return the product back to the store, then there is no way to do this with the choice of a life partner.

Happy are those who confident in your feelings and every day they understand that their loved one is the one and only. But what to do if doubts grow like a snowball every day and give you no rest? How to understand your feelings or their complete absence? It's actually very difficult. A woman who is dating a loved one must be responsible for her thoughts, words and actions. Today on the Internet there are a lot of tests to find out your true attitude towards your beloved guy, but let's look at the problem from the inside.

How can you understand your feelings for your loved one?

1. Analyze the situation well. In many ways, falling in love depends on the period of the relationship. If you just started dating, your loved one gives gifts and writes poems under the moon, then it is likely that you will lose your head and consider this to be true love. But after such a period, gray everyday life begins, which is not saturated with romance and cloudless holidays of love. That is why it is worth considering your attitude towards a guy a few months after the start of the relationship. If you really have respect, understanding and trust for him, even without daily bouquets of flowers and going to the cinema. This is true love. If you suddenly begin to miss all this, and more and more deficiencies are discovered in your loved one every day, then you should not ruin the life of either yourself or him.

2. Take a closer look at how your ego is feeling. No matter how stupid it may sound, but if you feel moral discomfort and a desire to quickly disappear in a conversation with a loved one, then it is very likely that he is infringing on you, or suppressing your ego. Each person has the right to his own opinion, and reluctance to compromise cannot in any way indicate the sincerity of feelings. This means that your pride and steadfastness of principles and position are the absolute opposite of pure, sincere love. If you love a person, then little things will not matter - you will learn to make concessions and respect the choice of your loved one.

3. On separate sheet paper write down its positive and negative qualities character. Write down all the behavioral features of your beloved guy that come to your mind in two columns; if there are more positive ones, then the chances that you love the person increase several times. But don’t worry if you find a lot of shortcomings, and the advantages are in the minority, because you can break off relations with this person at this stage, and not be disappointed while being married and raising children from him.

4. Try to assess your attitude towards your loved one as objectively as possible.. Sit down, relax and ask yourself: do you worry when you’re not around, do you need his frequent calls and messages, could you spend a few more years of your life on him? Such questions allow you to independently evaluate your own views and feelings, because dialogues alone with yourself are the most sincere and honest.

5. Understand your desires and goals. Often girls get lost in their feelings because they cannot find mutual language with myself. If at this stage of your life you dream of an open relationship and fun nights at the club, then it is foolish to expect that a cute home boy who wants to start a family at the age of 20 will fall into your soul for a long time. Try to understand: are you ready for serious relationship, how many decisive steps you need from the male side for happiness, etc. Often girls and women who wonder whether they love a particular man simply cannot understand themselves. Perhaps at this stage of your life it is better for you to devote yourself to work, and not waste years on doubts and guesses.

6. Finally, ask his opinion. Often men themselves doubt the sincerity of their beloved’s feelings, but are afraid to admit it to themselves and to her. If you take the initiative yourself and ask him whether he feels your love, then it is likely that you will receive a very objective view from the outside. Learn to communicate with your loved one, because this is really important for a good mutual trusting relationship. If you cannot decide to take such a step or expect a negative answer, then it is likely that you yourself doubt your feelings. A man will always tell you whether he feels your love, attention and care or not.

How to find out if a man loves you: 10 phrases loving person+ 20 signs of sincere love + 7 true signs (a man’s view of the problem).

We all want to love and be loved.

There are happy women who absolutely know that their significant other has sincere, deep feelings for them. But there are those who have to figure out what is hidden behind in beautiful words their young man: love, lust, lies, emptiness.

How do you know if a man loves you or if a relationship with you is just a game for him? Ask directly? But it’s so easy to lie.

It is better to look not at words, but at actions. And also look for the right signs that will definitely indicate the strength and genuineness of feelings.

How do you know if a man loves you by his behavior, look and other signs?

To find out exactly what your man feels, you just need to take a closer look at him. Move aside for a while your own feelings that blur your view and analyze his actions, words, gestures, etc.

You will easily understand whether he loves you or not if you do not deceive yourself.

1) 10 phrases that men say when they love

1. "I love you".
2. “Let me introduce you to my friends/colleagues/family...”
3. “You are the smartest, I am so lucky to meet you.”
4. “How many children would you like to have?”
5. “In the future, I plan...” (you are also in these plans).
6. “I want you to know more about me.”
7. "I'm afraid to disappoint you."
8. “I miss you so much, even though we haven’t seen each other for only two days.”
9. “I'm worried/worried about you.”
10. “Dress warmly, it’s cold outside. Please have lunch, don't go hungry all day. I bought fruit and medicine at the pharmacy and am already on my way to you.”

Of course, phrases can be formed in other ways. But I think you understand the general meaning.

A man who loves will not:

• hide your feelings;
• hide you from friends and family;
• be indifferent to your health, well-being, mood;
• withdraw yourself in difficult moments of your life;
• don't care what you think about him;
• hide your past and plans for the future;
• look for excuses why you can't meet.

2) Actions of a man that will indicate that he loves you

If you come across a silent or stern man who says little but does a lot, do not rush to blame him for not loving you. Just analyze the young man’s actions, not his words.

Actions of a man who truly loves his woman:

This manifests itself in small things (packing lunch in your purse after a hard day, feeding you dinner, throwing on your jacket when you’re freezing in the light dress under gusts of cold wind), and in larger-scale actions: caring for you when you are sick, comforting you when you lose a loved one, etc.

Involving you in your life.

A man who loves and wants a woman to become a part of his life, quickly:

• introduce her to his friends and relatives;
• will show where he lives and works;
• will try to introduce him to his hobby, etc.

This will allow him to spend more time with his beloved, and this is what every man in love strives for.

A man who loves doesn't even need to ask you to help. He listens to you carefully and reacts sensitively to phrases that:

• your light bulb has burned out;
• the shelf fell off;
• the electric kettle is broken;
• you don’t know how to get to your parents because on Friday evening all the buses are packed;
• you can’t solve problems with the housing office, etc.

The desire to help and make a woman’s life easier betrays a man in love.

The desire to please you.

He knows what yours are and regularly pleases you with bouquets. The same goes for sweets, favorite restaurants, movies, etc. He is not ashamed to arrange a romantic surprise for his beloved, prepare a delicious dinner, or pleasantly surprise her. He revels in your joy and is happy when you are happy.

You are an important part of his life.

A beloved woman occupies one of the main places in a man’s life, while a lady who is not loved is simply one of the components.

If you constantly feel on the sidelines, if he regularly sacrifices a date with you in order to go to a bar with friends, go fishing, take work for the weekend - there is no talk of any love.

3) 10 more additional signs that will indicate that a man loves you

1. Views full of love and the desire to admire you when he thinks you don’t see it.
2. The desire to share both sorrows and joys with you.
3. An adequate response to your mood: the desire to console when you feel bad, maintaining cheerfulness when you feel good.
4. Constant presence and desire to help when you are stressed, in a bad mood, depressed, during PMS, etc.
5. The pride a man feels for your victories and achievements.
6. Lack of selfishness in terms of sex and the desire to please the woman you love, and not just take care of your own satisfaction.
7. Knowledge and understanding of your tastes, hobbies, likes, dislikes, allergies, etc.
8. The value of your opinion for him is undeniable.
9. A loving man will not take out his bad mood on you and pour out his problems on his head in order to throw out his anger, and not to get help or practical advice.
10. The desire to please your friends and parents, to gain a foothold in your life and become an important part of it.

How to find out that a man does not love you, so as not to waste time on him?

We, women, are creatures of a different make-up than men, so we cannot always understand them.

In my female opinion, the easiest way to understand whether a man loves you or not is to simply feel it. If something confuses you in a relationship, if you don’t fully believe him, and even if you often ask yourself the question: “Does he love you or not?”, most likely there is no true love.

There is sympathy, affection, passion, perhaps love, but this is not enough to enter into a relationship with a man. Where is the guarantee that when you are already married, he will not meet someone he will love with all his soul?

But this is my, female view of the problem. And I would like to know what men think about this.

A male friend of mine, a psychologist by profession, told me several signs that will definitely indicate that a man does not love you:

He didn't change his habits, his traditional way of life, or his schedule because you showed up.

All you have been awarded is to take a free place between work, friends, family and hobbies.

He does not want to spend more time with you, see you more often, or talk a lot on the phone.

Excessive busyness does not excuse a man - if he loves, then he will have time for his beloved.

He is not afraid to offend you.

He simply doesn’t care that some careless words or actions can hurt you.

He doesn’t want to plan with you not only the distant future (family, children), but even a joint summer vacation.

He simply answers: “We’ll see, let’s live, then we’ll see, etc.”

You've caught the guy lying more than once.

There are two options here - either he is a pathological liar, or he simply doesn’t care about how you deal with lies. Neither the first nor the second option is an option for you.

He doesn't try to make your life easier or help you in difficult situations.

No, if you ask for help, you get it, but a man in love knows when to lend his shoulder.

He doesn't accept you for who you are.

A man who loves will not notice any female shortcomings at first; he will forgive even what previously irritated him.

Grinding in and smoothing of sharp corners occurs later. For example, I am an ardent opponent of smoking, I once dated a girl who smoked because I fell in love like a boy.

If he finds fault with you, tries to change you, adjust it to suit himself, he definitely doesn’t like you.

Loves – doesn’t love: find out, even if it hurts

Most women, at least once in their lives, have found themselves captive in a debilitating relationship...

I’m not talking now about any kind of violence or connection with the disadvantaged marginalized. I'm talking about relationships that seem to develop logically and bring pleasure, but there is no belief that they will end in something good.

This usually happens when we doubt that we are loved. I was in such a relationship once.

Dima and I met for six months while still at the university. A nice guy, well-mannered, with many positive character traits, purposeful (even in his second year he started working part-time to have his own money), etc.

He treated me wonderfully: he arranged dates, gave me flowers and nice presents, and paid compliments. In general, a good candidate for the role of a soul mate. But something was missing in our relationship. It was only later that I realized that there was not enough love.

No, I loved Dima (well, or at the time I thought I did), but I wasn’t sure of his feelings, although I received several routine “I love you”s. I always wanted to know how he felt about me. This is what exhausted me mentally and did not allow me to relax

How did I manage to find out that Dima still doesn’t love me? I took off my rose-colored glasses and really looked at the attitude towards me. Here's what confused me:

1. He didn't show genuine concern when I was sick or dealing with some problems.
2. The man was never upset when our date was postponed for some reason.
3. Even in the most intimate moments, Dima remained distant - it seemed like he didn’t care whether I was next to him or someone else.
4. The guy paid too much attention to other girls - and it wasn’t the quick, meaningless glance that all men give at attractive girls, it was an assessment: whether she would be a good replacement for me or not.
5. I felt like he was lying to me when he talked about his feelings.

We broke up on Valentine's Day. During a romantic dinner, we started talking about feelings. I jokingly asked why Dima was spending this day with me and not with another girl and heard the answer: “Well, I love you.”

And these innermost words sounded like: “Well, I bought a jacket without thinking, now I have to wear it, even though I’m not delighted with it.” And I decided to get the truth from my young man.

We talked for a long time and for the first time sincerely. Over the course of the evening, I still managed to find out that Dima, although he considers me wonderful, does not truly love me.

He felt guilty and tried to persuade me to wait, saying that feelings would come, but I didn’t want to.

Yes, it was painful, yes, leaving him was a difficult decision, but I did not regret that I had achieved such important recognition for myself.

How to find out whether a man loves you or not?

First you need to watch this video:

My advice to you: if you think how to know if a man loves you, think about what you will do if he says: “I don’t love you.” If you are ready for the truth (even bitter), then seek sincere confession. If not, leave everything as it is. It is quite possible that sooner or later he will still love you.

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