Reader question:
The child is one year and three months old. He bites, mostly his mother. Not aggressively, rather, on the contrary, in a moment of joy and tenderness, although there is obvious excitement. Mom works, and dad and grandma spend more time with the child. How to react to bites? Now, if you strictly say “no” and stop the game, hysteria begins.
When asked why small children bite, Montessori teacher Anna Fedosova answers:
As grandfather Freud assured us, we all want to simultaneously eat and destroy what we love. But adults are smart enough to understand the impossibility of realizing this contradictory urge, and wise enough to reconcile.
Children are just beginning to be intelligent and wise. It is difficult for them to cope with desire due to the immaturity of the central nervous system: excitement from the center of emotions easily covers most of the brain and activates motor activity, which is why both joyful and sad children squeeze, clap, run, and spin. For them, this is not only a manifestation of aggression in the Freudian sense, but a consequence of excitement in itself, which no one can learn to localize. In fact, I don’t have any other news for your little one other than “you can’t bite your mom, because mom is against it.”
A child bites: what to do
Anyone who has plenty of space for self-realization is quite accommodating. We don’t pour water here, but here for health? OK. We paint in this zone with paint, pencils, plasticine, but not outside it? OK. Here are my spoons, forks, knives, pots, plates, glasses, jugs, but these are your utensils, and you can’t touch them? Okay, don’t take my fork without asking either.
At one and three years old, it is usually interesting to know how to do and how not to; knowledge on this topic easily becomes a source of pride. The main thing is that the space for free action is sufficiently attractive. If for one tiny “well, play” there are two hectares of “Vova, stop it,” you shouldn’t expect loyalty.
What “can” do you have at your disposal to express the delight of a missed child in your family?
It is believed that it is easier for dads to toss, spin, play around and fuss with their babies, and therefore they play this way more often than mothers. But almost always the father is a working parent. So the reason is not only that it’s convenient for dads to play this way, but also that it’s more convenient for children to throw out the energy that has accumulated while missing a significant adult who hasn’t been there all day. You can not only stir, but also use some trick to shift the activity, reducing the comfort of biting: tickle, circle, roll in a thick blanket, kiss the heels...
Sometimes children misinterpret “said strictly” as a scary or aggressive message. In what voice will the Toddler hear firmness, grief, and concern? Look for the right intonation. Your task is not to judge, but to make it clear that you can’t do this, or better yet, don’t allow yourself to be bitten. At the same time, it is unfair to reject a child who has lasted so long without you and is now eager to make up for lost time.
You are faced with a difficult acrobatic task: to dodge the bites, condemning them decisively, calmly and correctly, but continue to hug and not break contact. Look for forms of affection that are pleasant to both of you to create a meeting ritual. Pat the toddler on the back and invite him to help you undress and put your things back in place. It’s impossible to list everything, look for something special and suitable for your family.
How to stop a child from biting at 1 year old
If outbursts of passion arise not only during a meeting, then they can be, at least partially, predictable, and the task, again, is to hug in time, without giving the opportunity to bite, if you suspect that the baby is close to this.
At the same time, try new opportunities for him so that there are more constructive options for applying his enthusiasm. Various games with water take away unnecessary stress. It is a life-giving context in which the toddler can be alone with his mother. Let it be for a short time, but a small piece of your attention belongs to him completely undividedly.
Sometimes children need less to be happy than their parents fear. Jumping around and over a tired adult who is lying down on a sofa or carpet is a favorite pastime that all ages can enjoy. Before my eyes, schoolchildren at a children’s camp invented and enthusiastically indulged in the game of “hare”: the counselor is declared a hare, runs away from the kids for a while, then the crowd catches up with him, knocks him down and everyone hugs.
So hug more biting, grown up and independent ones. Even introverts - neatly and in a form acceptable to them. Even those who are ticklish. In general, everyone always, but taking into account their needs and your capabilities.
Some parents have to deal with the problem when their baby suddenly starts biting. There can be many reasons for this behavior. It is important to accurately identify them and take action to wean your child from this habit.
Why does a child bite
As a rule, the baby begins to show a tendency to bite at the time when his teeth are cutting through. During this period, he is not yet aware of his actions. The task of the parents in this case is to help the baby. If the child continues to bite at an older age, then it is necessary to explain to the child that he is behaving badly and ugly.
Such situations happen very often in kindergartens and playgrounds. In this case, biting appears as the first way to protect oneself.
Reasons why a baby starts biting:
- The desire to bite occurs in children in a state, as well as as a result of despair or helplessness.
- Some children seek to express dissatisfaction with something in this way or want to draw adults’ attention to themselves.
- Some children bite because they feel pain.
- At a young age, a child learns about the world through taste. Therefore, biting may be a manifestation of learning something new.
- If the child feels weaker than his opponent or does not know how to stand up for himself differently.
- The baby can take revenge for an insult.
- For some children, biting is a way to gain a leadership position.
In any case, parents must immediately take effective measures to stop such behavior of the child and wean him from this habit. Retaliatory actions must be taken immediately after the offense has been committed. But at the same time, it is important not to raise your voice at the baby or hit him. The remark should be made in a stern voice, calmly, so that the child understands why he is being scolded.
What to do if a child bites
First, watch your baby and find out in what situations he tends to bite. If possible, you should take measures to prevent your child from engaging in such behavior and resolve the conflict in another way.
Whenever you see a child about to bite, you should cover his mouth with your hand to create a physical barrier to prevent him from biting. At the same time, say in a stern and decisive voice that biting is prohibited. Of course, the baby will not understand this the first time. But the 10th time or the 20th time your prohibition will be understood. It is important that all adults surrounding the baby react in a similar way, and not be touched by his actions.
Don't hit your child or yell at him. The child bites out of an overwhelming feeling of anger and helplessness. At this moment he is not aware of his actions. Punishment will further provoke the child into aggression.
You need to help your child express his emotions in words. For example, tell him about the biting boy, his behavior and what it led to. Invite your child to take part in this fairy tale, let him suggest his own ways to protect himself from a biting boy. You must convey that you need to express your bad feelings and not bite.
Older children benefit from using time-outs. If something is unacceptable, you should be excommunicated from the game and left alone for a while, asking you to think about your behavior. It is not necessary to take the baby out of the playroom for this. It's enough to just take him to a corner. At the same time, the child should not be distracted by anything, otherwise the entire educational effect will come to naught.
Any child, no matter whether it is a boy or a girl, has definitely bitten someone at least once. Usually, love and the habit of biting disappears by the age of 3 years. If the baby does not stop biting himself or relatives, while showing aggression and expressing his anger, then many parents ask questions: why do children bite and what to do if a child bites?
Usually, biting is never planned by the baby in advance. This action occurs spontaneously and usually does not cause serious harm to health or serious consequences.
You need to stop a child from biting when he is already 3 years old, and you understand that biting was not a one-time occurrence. If, in addition, a child bites in kindergarten, the biting is accompanied by aggression and is repeated more than once.
Very often, a baby who is teething begins to bite in order to dull the discomfort in the gums. Sometimes, kids bite because they simply cannot express their emotions and feelings in any other way, since they do not fully master conversation skills. And the kids, in early age very often overcome by fear, helplessness or irritation.
Always, if the child’s development proceeds normally, then a verbal indication of one’s dissatisfaction is usually enough for the child to lose the desire to bite someone. If the baby's desire to bite does not go away after 3 summer age, feel free to take him to the dentist. 
Why do children start biting?
Absolutely all babies can bite, but the reasons are completely different for everyone. The causes of bites depend on the age of the child.
Infants from 5 to 7 months begin to bite when they experience discomfort around their mouth, or when experiencing severe pain caused by the appearance of teeth.
At this age, babies bite their parents or relatives. But even at such a young age, the baby understands that this is not good if he sees an unhappy reaction from mom or dad.
In the period from 8 to 14 months, babies experience strong sensations and, at the same time, without controlling their behavior, begin to bite from overexcitement. At this age, again all the bites go to the relatives and parents of the baby. A firm tone from mom or dad will help stop a child from biting. After hearing a firm “no,” the baby forgets about this habit once and for all.
In the period from 15 to 36 months, a child may begin to bite relatives or children around him, out of an excess of anger, as well as a desire to control the actions of other people.
Usually during this period of development, children bite their peers, much less often their father or mother. During this period of development, the question of how to wean a child from biting arises especially clearly, because the baby’s mother and father begin to understand that this has ceased to be a child’s prank. It is much easier to wean a child from biting in this period, since the baby realizes that he is doing the wrong thing.
If, after 3 years of age, the bites have not stopped, then you should think about whether everything is fine in your baby’s communication. The manifestation of aggression may be associated with severe fear, irritability, and a feeling of resentment.
Those kids who continue to bite children and parents should be taken to a pediatrician, he should give a referral to see a neurologist. It is possible that the baby has problems with self-control. 
If your baby starts biting in kindergarten
A bite can happen in any situation. If a child bites in kindergarten, this may happen while he is playing with other children. Now this is not uncommon in any kindergarten. Of course, such situations could have been avoided if the children had been well supervised, but very often, children are simply not explained how to express their emotions.
The psychologist's advice recommends that parents of children who "bite" warn teachers about this in advance so that they pay special attention to the child. It is also recommended to pick up the child a little early from kindergarten and encourage the child if there are no complaints about him.
Sometimes, in the most critical situations, it becomes necessary to transfer the child to a specialized kindergarten, which has correctional group with a small number of children. Where experts can help stop a child from biting.
Biting as a behavior problem
Biting relatives occasionally from time to time is a normal development for any baby. But remember, if biting has become an everyday and repeated occurrence, and the biting is accompanied by aggressive behavior. If the following signs occur, the child must be examined by a specialist:
Bites even if parents show their displeasure;
Continues biting after 3 years;
Biting, harms other children;
Biting is not associated with the desire to get any object, but only out of aggression or anger;
After biting, accompanying signs of aggression appear, such as causing pain to the animal or another child. 
How to stop a child from biting?
In most cases, the bite does not cause much harm and does not require additional medical intervention. The bite is harmless, even if it causes damage skin covering and blood began to flow. But when blood appears, the child can become infected with a large number of diseases. This is especially true for those bitten children who have weak immunity.
Immunity is a natural protector of the body, and it is it that helps fight almost all types of infections. Weak immunity means that the body will not fight and will no longer effectively protect the person.
It is very important to see a doctor. Since the doctor will thoroughly assess the location of the bite and find out everything about vaccinations.
Your doctor will help you stop your child from biting. Since biting means that the child is completely unable to control his emotions. The doctor will help you learn a technique on how to explain to your child that you need to restrain your emotions and control self-expression.
The advice of a psychologist says that you need to talk and explain to the child. Also, for example, you may be sent to child-rearing courses. The courses will help you learn how to respond correctly to your baby's behavior.
In most cases, bites can be prevented. Or significantly reduce the frequency of biting. Be sure to find out the cause of the bite after each bite. This will help you later. The cause of bites always depends on the age of the baby.
For teething babies, it is recommended to use special toys that massage the gums.
To wean a child who is about 12 months old from biting, be sure to show your dissatisfaction with his action, accompanied by the words “They don’t bite in our family.”
The psychologist's advice states that from the age of 1.5 years, it is imperative to teach your baby to express his emotions, without aggression, rage and biting. Explain that everything can be resolved peacefully.
Learn to recognize the moment when he wants to bite someone, remember that you can prevent this by switching the child’s attention to something else.
Your speech should not be long and difficult for your baby to understand. In your statement, your negative position on the bite should be clearly visible.
Don't forget to praise the baby who was able not to bite and restrain himself. The baby really needs your praise. 
What to do to prevent biting
A positive assessment of the baby’s good actions will become an indispensable assistant in the fight against biting. Be sure to grab the baby for all the actions and actions that you support. Especially for the patience, restraint and peacefulness shown.
The psychologist's advice says that you need to praise your child every time you see him. good behavior. But it is important that praise should be verbal and in no case have a valuable equivalent, such as sweets or toys.
Encourage him with words, today you were able to restrain aggression very well and find out everything with the help of words. They will play a significant role in this tactile sensations: A hug or a friendly pat on the back will be something your baby will remember for a long time. And as he grows up a little, he will understand that his ability to restrain himself and compromise brings only positive emotions, which cannot be said about resentment and anger.
It will be very good if you try to role-play different situations with your child in which he may experience increased aggression and, as a result, biting. Remember, no one will help your child better than you yourself. By modeling different situations, show your child, using personal example, how you cope with this or that case. Become an example and support for him. Your family should become a model of a quiet, cozy and harmonious family.
If your baby bites, do not do the following:
Prove to the child that a bite hurts by biting him back. In this way, you will only aggravate the situation and cause the child, the hidden anger of us, inside;
As punishment for being bitten, lather your mouth with soap. Remember, in the difficult fight against bites, only the word will help you;
Do not use corporal punishment for a bite; only persuasion can help you and your baby.
Those children who, even after 3 years of age, continue to bite other children, it is best to use the time-out technique. They allow the baby to calm down a little, and they also give the baby the understanding that biting is unacceptable. But it is important to explain to the child why time is given to think.
If your baby bites while attending kindergarten
If a situation arises that one child bites other children, the head of the kindergarten has the right, at the request of the preschool teachers and psychologist, to invite the children’s parents to a meeting. If biting has been going on for a long time and your child has become more aggressive, the following recommendations may be put forward to you:
Reduce the time your child visits kindergarten. During the child’s stay in the preschool educational institution, a psychologist will observe him in order to identify the reasons why he begins to bite. Since some actions or just actions can cause anger in your baby, the psychologist’s task is to establish this fact. And then, the replacement of these actions will entail peace and tranquility in a friendly children's team.
Reviewing your baby's daily routine. If, after radical measures have already been taken, your baby still continues to bite other children, then you may be given an order to another kindergarten with groups with a small number of children and the presence of highly specialized specialists. There your baby will receive special attention.
You should definitely contact a pediatrician and neurologist if:
All of the above methods did not help, and your baby still continues to bite;
You cannot control the situation and your emotions are off the charts;
The child’s behavior prevents him from adapting to society;
You need help in this situation because you have lost control over it.
THE CHILD BITES! WHAT TO DO?
Many children aged 2-3 years go through a “biting” period, when they either themselves bite other children in the kindergarten, or become victims of another “biter”. Why do children bite, and how should parents and educators approach this, frankly, sore point?
Any child aged 2-3 years attending kindergarten has at least once returned home with traces of someone’s teeth on his body. Little children bite, that's a fact. Sometimes teeth marks are visible only when changing clothes; they are not noticeable and parents sometimes do not notice them. Sometimes they look like an ominous clock on a child's hand or back.
If the child already speaks and can name the offender, the “investigation” ends here. You go to kindergarten and threateningly demand that the offender be punished. Despite the fact that this is a very common phenomenon, the question of how parents should react in this case remains open.
Normally developing children almost always bite at some point in their development. This may first appear at six months, but the peak occurs at the age of 2-3 years. At this age, which is not for nothing considered “rebellious,” the child tries to distinguish himself from other people and show his individuality.
For these purposes, the child sometimes shows aggression, including biting. When parents react violently, the child is only happy, because at these moments he feels like an individual capable of evoking strong emotions.
Reasons for behavior
There are several reasons why children “test their teeth” not only on toys, but also on other people. The first is the desire to get closer to others and make contact with them. At an early age, the mouth is one of the main organs that helps the child explore the world.
The second reason is associated with strong negative emotions - a child bites when he is very angry and irritated. In kindergartens, we often encounter young children who are unable to cope with outbursts of anger, for example, if a toy is taken away from them. The baby still does not know how to express negative emotions in words.
The child understands that he was offended, that an act of aggression occurred. He cannot answer, and often expresses his emotions by biting the offender.
The third factor may be low sensitivity, that is, sensitivity to touch. Children with low sensitivity have a low sensitivity to painful stimuli and do not fully understand that their touch can cause severe pain to another child.
In addition, children who bite others may be suffering from a difficult psychological situation at home. The birth of a younger child, a father leaving for military training or a business trip, quarrels between parents. Sometimes it happens that a child feels great discomfort in kindergarten, then he will bite other children or teachers in order to express his attitude towards the kindergarten itself.
Very active children may simply get bored in a cramped room - just take them outside to make them much less aggressive.
When should parents contact a psychologist about a child who bites? In most cases there is no need to rush. This behavior goes away with age and often does not require any professional intervention. If your baby sometimes bites, but is usually cheerful, plays, draws and laughs, there is no reason to worry.
But if a child is restless most of the time, cannot concentrate, cries often, is constantly aggressive for no reason and bites very often, it makes sense to consult a psychologist.
In conclusion, it must be said that some babies never bite. They find other ways to express internal tension. Those who bite a lot and often sometimes suffer from their own behavior, because those around them usually react to it very sharply.
What to do?
- First of all, try to prevent aggressive actions on the part of the child towards others. If you notice that the child is starting to get angry, nervous, or argue, switch his attention to something else, distract him. For example, invite your child to play some interesting game or invite him to be alone and think about his behavior. This method has its advantages. It reduces the number of social contacts the child has with other children and adults. Biting if a child spends a long time in a group of children (adults) is a manifestation of overexcitation.
- If a child who does not yet know how to speak bites, it is necessary to voice his behavior so that he remembers its name, saying: “You bite!” Next, say: “You can’t bite people, don’t ever do that again!”, “You can only bite apples.” Then redirect your child's attention to something interesting to him. You can prevent his aggressive actions with the help of the alternative proposed to him. Ask, as soon as you notice that the child is starting to get nervous: “Do you want to play with a doll or cars?”
- If you were unable to prevent the child’s aggressive behavior, you need to stop further manifestations of aggressive actions on the part of the child. To do this, hug him carefully, without sudden movements.
- Next, looking into the child’s eyes, tell him about his feelings, for example: “You don’t want to give Masha your toy. I understand you, etc.” Try to make your phrase sound affirmative and be emotionally similar to the child’s state. It is important to show the child that you understand him, that the purpose of such aggressive actions of the child is to show his feelings of resentment. And that once the goal is achieved, further manifestation of aggressive actions is pointless.
- If a child bites or hits you, tell him in an indifferent tone: “It hurts me. I get very angry when people bite me.”
- Comfort the victim, show sympathy for him in front of the child who bit him. In this way, the child is given an example of how to express empathy. Give your child the opportunity to make amends, invite him to put a band-aid on the bite site, apologize, draw a picture and give it to the victim.
- If a child bites you, or bites another child, then under no circumstances should you scream or hit him. The moment children bite someone, they are overwhelmed with a feeling of anger. He is unable to realize what he is doing. Ordering a child without allowing him to calm down will provoke an even greater outburst of rage in him. Remember, stopping a child’s aggressive actions can lead to the fact that negative emotions that have not spilled out will remain in the child and sooner or later they will manifest themselves and find a way out.
- If a child bites you, do not bite him back, otherwise he will develop the understanding that this is how he should defend himself, defend his opinion.
- Love your child not only when he is obedient and affectionate, but also when he is in a state of anger.
- Don't be led by your emotions. Show intelligence and sensitivity.
- If you notice that the child has begun to bite and pinch, then parental control is important. The external firmness of adults trains the child’s sense of discrimination (possible - impossible, good - bad). Based on these restrictions and social disapproval, a feeling of shame and doubt is formed.
- Provided that parents do not suppress the child’s desire for autonomy by overprotecting him, by the age of three he will have developed such positive qualities as pride and goodwill. Accordingly, excessive guardianship from adults will contribute to the child’s feelings of shame, doubt, and uncertainty.
- The development of a child’s personality and the formation of his positive qualities are influenced by the style correctly chosen by the parents. family education, communication with the child.
- In order for your child to stop biting, he will need your help. For acceptance the right decision, what to do if a child bites, it is necessary, first of all, to identify the cause. Having identified the cause and determined why the child bites, you need to immediately begin taking measures to eliminate it, so that such aggressive behavior does not take hold and does not become a habit in the child.
Educational psychologist
Sometimes it happens that your child suddenly becomes a biter. He grabs mom’s hand with his teeth, tries to bite off dad’s ear, and even hones his “toothy” skills on a teddy bear. And if the bear doesn’t care that they’re trying to gnaw sawdust out of him, then the baby’s parents don’t need such biting problems at all: it’s painful, offensive and even a little scary.
What if suddenly it is not mom or dad who is bitten, but a neighbor next door or a child in kindergarten? Here it’s not far from an “armed” conflict: quarrels, showdowns and, as a result, the search for a new kindergarten.
Why does a child bite? How should parents behave if this happens to their baby? What mistakes should not be made during the weaning process? What to do if the baby not only bites, but also plucks and even fights? We will try to answer these and other questions right now.
Why does a child bite?
Bites at 6 months
The main reason for the toddler’s “biting” is discomfort or painful sensations caused by teething. Well, what else is there to scratch your gums about, if not about your beloved mother? Of course, this is very painful, especially when it comes to breast bites during feeding.
What to do?
An alternative is to buy plastic attachments that protect the breasts from the baby’s teeth, but do not interfere with feeding. You can also lubricate the nipples with a special product designed to relieve the baby's suffering while his teeth grow.
You can also give your child a “helper”: a piece of carrot or apple, a hard dryer or a teether so that he can sharpen his gums on them.
If the baby bit you “just like that,” make a serious face and show with all your appearance how ugly it is. Finally, just be patient, even though it is incredibly difficult.
Bites at 8-14 months
During this period, the baby bites when he is very excited: he is overwhelmed with emotions that he puts into his bite (like his whole soul). Sometimes a child bites because they are simply scared or angry at you for some reason.
What to do?
Try to show your child that you can’t do this, it hurts you a lot and you are offended by him. He will definitely study the “information” received and draw the right conclusions.
Bites at 15-36 months
This time falls during the period of socialization of the child: the baby goes to kindergarten, but instead of making friends with peers, he begins to sharpen his teeth on them.
The reasons for biting behavior are caused by a simple desire to control the world around and subjugate those who “inhabit” it. This is also confirmed by the fact that the baby only bites peers, and does not touch relatives with his teeth.
Sometimes, when a child bites, it is not only the influence of other children that is to blame, but also a simple lack of understanding that it hurts someone.
What to do?
Explain to your child that no one will ever want to be friends with him, so angry and pugnacious.
Bites at three years of age and after
When an adult three-year-old child begins to bite, this indicates that he is scared or feels helpless. Example: two kids did not share a toy and one of them bit an opponent. This happened because he simply did not find another way to defend his opinion (or defend himself if little fists were used).
What to do?
You can have your child checked by a doctor to rule out neurological diseases from the list of reasons for biting.
It often happens that children who started biting at 2 years old continue to do so at 2.5 or even 3. The problem is that now the bites of the little ones are no longer so harmless, but are already noticeably painful.
That is why experts advise parents of biting children to pay close attention to the child’s behavior and respond to it immediately.
Finding out the reasons
The first thing you should do is understand why your child is being bitten. Ask the teacher if there are other toothy children in your group, and be sure to find out if anything strange or bad happens before your child bites someone.
Finally, try to remember the first time this happened to your child.
Intimate talk
Talk to your baby and find out why he is “showing his teeth.” Explain in color and detail that only small children behave this way, and adults like him will never try to “eat” someone close to them. Let your child understand that biting will not achieve anything good, much less solve problems.
Expressing feelings correctly
The kid must understand that when expressing love, he needs to hug the one for whom he feels this reverent feeling, and if he is overwhelmed with anger, let him speak about it directly.
Moving aggression
To stop your child from biting, you can enroll him in a swimming pool or self-defense class. In general, where he will run a lot, jump, move and splash out the energy that overwhelms him.
Be consistent
React to each recurring “incident” in the same way and then the child will learn the lesson, if not the second time, then definitely the fifth. He will simply understand that if he continues to do this, his mother will definitely scold him.
Creating a peaceful environment
Protect your child from quarrels and scandals, as psychologists say: biting children appear in families with unfavorable emotional atmosphere. The child should not see how adults sort things out - this will lead to him copying this model of behavior and achieving what he wants in the same way.
Tenderness and affection will grind everything
Show more tenderness to the child and caress him, say that you love him more than life and kiss him with all your might. You will see that instead of biting, he will give you the same strong kisses and hot hugs.
What should you not do if your baby bites?
Bite back
Getting the baby to stop biting by responding with “biting” sounds strange, doesn’t it?
Pay close attention to bites
Sometimes, in order for a child to stop biting, you just need to ignore it. It’s a paradox, but seeing that “defense” does not bear fruit, the baby simply stops showing his teeth.
Wash your mouth with soap or hit your lips
Such inappropriate behavior of parents will only worsen the situation: internal aggression will increase, and the baby will decide that you do not understand him.
The child pinches and fights: why?
Sometimes it happens that the baby “calls for help” not only with his teeth, but also with his hands: he actively begins to pinch and fight, causing bewilderment and even fear in the people around him with his behavior. The reasons for such aggression lie in the negative emotions overwhelming the child: jealousy, anger, irritation and resentment.
The baby cannot accumulate negativity in himself, and when something doesn’t work out for him or he is not given what he wants, emotions begin to overflow. The problem also lies in the fact that bites, pinches and blows are becoming stronger and more frequent.
Let's take a closer look at why a child pinches and fights and how to wean him from it.
A child fights with other children
Children preschool age They fight either to demonstrate their strength to others, or because they want to attract someone's attention.
If you saw your baby fighting or one of the neighbors told you about what happened, try to find out from them the details of the fight. This will make it easier for you to determine the cause. aggressive behavior your baby.
After this, call the child and listen to what he tells you about this. If he uses his hands because he wants to “educate” someone, explain that you need to achieve what you want with words, not fists.
There is no point in scolding your child, as you can turn from a well-wisher into a real enemy. What does he do with them? Of course, it hits and stings.
Child fights with parents
If your baby hits you more and more often, keep in mind: this is a response to your “wrong” behavior. For example, you constantly scold him, forbid him everything in the world, or shame him.
Another reason for fights is the problem of perception of a child who thinks that by pinching or hitting someone, he will provoke him into a certain game: hit - offense - reconciliation - hugs.
In both cases, you need to be more tolerant of the child and not show aggression. He hit you - stop it without shouting or swearing. You can also be offended by him by hiding in another room. May the whole house comfort you! Looking at this, the child will understand: his game was not a success and, therefore, he did not do something very right.
Finally, the third reason why a child fights (both with parents and with peers): he has simply seen enough of “evil” cartoons and is now positioning himself as a negative character. Control what the TV “shows” to your baby, just don’t prohibit him from watching it completely.
The main task: to show the child the difference between evil and good and make it clear that good always wins.
When should you contact a specialist?
The reasons for a child’s aggressive behavior lie in many factors: delay speech development, injury, serious illness, death of a close relative, the appearance of a new teacher or student in the class.
Even more often children bite, in whose families the parents themselves behave viciously: they constantly sort things out, quarrel and even fight. It's an apple from an apple tree, right?
Signals indicating that you need to seek help from a psychologist are the following:
- the baby “sharpenes” his teeth without reacting to your desire to stop it;
- he is already more than three years old;
- your child hurts other people with his bites;
- the baby does it to cause pain;
- he not only fights, but also tortures domestic animals.
Psychologists say that the habit of biting goes away over time, but if a child is already three years old, and he continues to do it with redoubled anger, then he needs the help of a specialist.
Summing up
When thinking about how to stop a child from biting, you must understand that only patience and work will help you correct the situation, since the child’s psyche is so flexible that it can be successfully corrected. Try to show your child the beauty of being on the “good” side and teach him to express negativity in a safe and socially acceptable way.
