How to find the right approach to your child. A demanding child - what is the reason and how to find an approach? Emotional and cognitive aspects of development

Many parents at one time or another ask themselves the question: how to find an approach to their child and how to attract his attention to something. Modern children spend their free time at the computer and are not interested in anything other than watching cartoons. But we will consider several options on how to find an approach to the child.

Option 1

Try to talk to your child as much as possible. For example, on your way home, you can show your child the shops and read the signs together. Many kids get fascinated by reading signs and cannot come home until they have read all the signs. Indeed, with the help of this advice, you can instill in your child a love of reading. As for reading, reading fairy tales or books together brings us closer together. If you want to get closer to your child, invite him to read an interesting book at night. We are sure that your efforts will not be in vain.

Option 2

Joint leisure. Walk with your child in the fresh air as much as possible. In the summer you can come up with many active games; these interactions will bring you closer to your child. You can play in the sandbox, building towers, and don’t forget about talking with your child. He should be the center of attention.

How to find an approach to a child photo

Only when he feels connected to you will he easily make contact. Young children are very sensitive to their family, but at the same time they require attention. Parents should pay due attention to the child and the development of their child, since in childhood you lay the foundation for development.

Option 3

Read magazines and books together. From childhood, it is necessary to instill in a child a love of reading and literature in general. To begin, choose a book genre that interests your child. After all, if a child is not interested in the themes of the stories, he will not want to listen, much less perceive the information he reads. Children often love to listen to fairy tales, but do not overdo it with reading fairy tales. After all, after reading fairy tales, children will not be able to distinguish the real world from the fairy tale world.

An excellent alternative to books is watching Soviet fairy tales or cartoons. It is Soviet fairy tales that are a good educator for your baby. While watching fairy tales, the child will understand what is good and what is bad. Kids will find themselves in a fairy tale or a hero who is similar to them in some way. A very important point is self-education. While watching, he will realize what can be done, and what actions have a bad impact on society or people.

Option 4

The key to a successful childhood is proper upbringing. Young parents must clearly understand that their duty is to raise a worthy person who is ready to live and has developed in society. To do this, I need to talk to the child and explain to him the basics of life, which he will actively use in the future. Of course, ideal children do not exist, but every child is obliged to be a normal person.

Discuss pressing topics with your child. Every day ask your child: How is he doing? What happened to him? Hearing these questions, he will feel that he is needed, and you are interested in his problems. The most important thing is to be sincere in your conversations with your child, try to talk with the whole family.

If you are the parent of a five-year-old child, then ask yourself, how is your relationship with him? Do you always understand him, are you interested in what worries the baby? After all, adults often show respect and attention to other people, but cannot build a trusting relationship with their child. To understand how to find the right approach to a five-year-old little man, you first need to delve into the psychological characteristics of the development of children during this period.

Children aged 5 are very curious

Psychology of a child at the age of five

This stage in a child’s life is usually characterized as transitional: from early childhood to the status of a preschooler. There is active development and knowledge of the surrounding world. Children at the age of five overcome a certain turning point; they become aware of themselves as individuals in a social environment, their qualities and capabilities. They are more sensitive to how others treat themselves. All this suggests that the little person is developing his own self-esteem. What it will be like depends on many factors, but first of all on what he receives from the world around him. Especially from communicating with adults.


Communication with parents is an important factor in psychological development

Advice: you should pay attention to your behavior as a parent, because the child very actively copies it. Examples of close relatives (brothers, sisters) also have an influence in this regard.


Psychological tests for 5 years old

By nature, any child wants to be good, to be appreciated and praised. Therefore, it is extremely important to support this desire both for parents and other adults (grandparents, teachers). If a child does a positive thing, it is definitely worth celebrating. But the main thing here is to indicate what exactly you are praising him for. The child must understand that doing this is good and repeat his actions in the future.

Emotional and cognitive aspects of development

At the age of five, the emotional sphere continues to steadily develop and mature. You may notice that your baby's feelings become deeper. If before he experienced rather simply the joy of communication, now this is expressed in a more complex form: sympathy and affection. And from here such moral concepts as friendship, sensitivity, kindness, and, over time, a sense of duty take their roots.

The child also shows the ability to think. However, he may not always come to the right conclusions.


Emotional development of 5-year-old children

Then follow this advice: parents should respect the baby’s first conclusions and unobtrusively correct them if necessary.


The age of why is 5-6 years

Communication skills of five-year-old children

The child shows increasing interest in children of approximately the same age. And from habitual communication only in the family, he increasingly moves on to broader relationships with the outside world.

Often a preschooler in this period divides children into “good” and “bad.”

But in this way he evaluates them based on the opinions of adults. Kids can be friends, quarrel, be offended, seek reconciliation, even be jealous, but they also help each other. The child has an increasing need for recognition of himself as an individual and respect among other peers.


Communication with peers is an important component of development

Due to the fact that in children of five years of age, cognitive interest predominates when communicating with adults, a lot of questions that they ask are inevitable. More often in the character of “why”. This happens because it is the adult who is the indisputable authority, the source of knowledge.

Helpful advice: it is important to listen to the child, because no one else but the parents can clearly explain to the child everything that worries him and replenish his knowledge.

Strong-willed qualities and focus develop. With their help, children can overcome certain difficulties that arise at this age. But along with active independence in the spirit of “I do it myself,” children are often overtaken by failures, discouraging them at the same time. And if there are a lot of mistakes, this can subsequently lead to a feeling of insecurity.


Parents should pay attention to the physical development of children

How to build trust with your child

In fact, no special knowledge or action is required in this matter. The main thing is to always put yourself in your child’s shoes, strive to imagine the world as he sees it. And then it will be much easier to understand what your baby wants and how exactly you can help him. It’s clear that adults don’t really remember what they were like at five years old, but something remains in their memory. It would be good to sometimes remember and ask yourself questions: “How did I behave at this age? what I liked, etc.” Simply put, look at the world through a child's eyes.


Curiosity at 5 years old is the basis of intellectual development

The relationship between parents and children is, so to speak, a whole field for the development of skills such as care, help, respect. A five-year-old child is susceptible not only to memorizing rhymes, numbers, and letters. You can really talk to him, even about love. Just try, sometimes you can hear the amazing truth that adults are afraid to tell themselves. But more often in society it is understood this way: what can a child of five know?


Comparison with other children is unacceptable

To understand how to establish a relationship with a child and trust each other, you need to remember some things and adhere to simple rules in everyday communication.

Principles of the correct approach to a child at the age of five

Agree that even an adult will be pleased when someone comes up to him after a hard day at work, asks “how are you?”, hugs him, and warms him with a kind word. It’s the same with children. Just talk to them in a friendly way, ask how their day was, what was new in the garden, or maybe ask deeper questions about what worries them.

Important advice: if you do this sincerely, with love, the child will definitely open up and answer you.

  • Watch the tone in which you speak to your son or daughter. The speech should be friendly and encouraging. Even if the baby has upset you with something, you can clarify the situation in a calm tone, without shouting. It is easier for five-year-old children to respond when there is no pressure on them, but when they try to understand why they did what they did. If you explain something to a child, do it as simply as possible, in a language he understands. Accessible, clear and unambiguous.
  • Always listen to your child. Do this carefully, do not try to interrupt, even if he says something that is not entirely logical. You can carefully correct what was said after the child has finished speaking. And then he will definitely take this into account.
  • Set clear boundaries in the child’s behavior, but according to his age characteristics. It is important that he understands: if certain things cannot be done, then this rule does not change.

Advice: here it is important not to give slack to the adult himself. If you say that there is enough candy for today, and then you give out more, then the child will not have a stable concept, and when it is really impossible, a feeling of permissiveness will develop. Children actually love boundaries and rules.

  • In your relationship with a five-year-old child, show maximum patience. After all, often children themselves do not know what they want and why this happens to them. They are still learning this skill of understanding themselves. And it’s normal that a child may take longer to get dressed, clean, and walk than you want. Who would like being constantly pulled back and rushed?
  • It's good when parents encourage their children's curiosity. Naturally, a 5-year-old child asks a lot of questions. There is one caveat here. The kid definitely wants an answer. And how he recognizes it directly depends on the adult. Try to become the main source of correct information for him at this age. You don’t need to have special erudition to do this. Advice to parents: if you don’t know what to answer your child, suggest looking for it together in a book or at least on the Internet. But be sure to find the answer, otherwise he may find it elsewhere. And there are no guarantees that this information will be correct.
  • Pay attention to what your child is interested in. Try to grasp what he is drawn to and develop these abilities. You can, of course, try different areas of hobbies, and then gradually determine what your child likes best: singing or drawing, English or skating. The child must preserve his originality. Parents should not force his interests on him.

Development of abilities and learning - preparation for school
  • Be a positive example for your child. It’s not without reason that they say that children are a mirror of their parents. At this age, they grasp everything instantly, both good and bad. So watch your words, emotions, actions. But if you made a mistake in the presence of a child, then you need to explain that adults can make mistakes too.
  • Never, under any circumstances, compare your child to others. This factor greatly affects his self-esteem. You should also not constantly criticize and scold your child, especially in front of other people. It is better to talk through the situation in a calm state. At the same time, you should look directly into the baby’s eyes, but with an understanding look.
  • Do not demand or expect from your child what he is not able to do at his age. Everything should be in moderation, including the number of rules and restrictions. When there are too many of them, he may stop noticing them.

Educational games are a very important point in the development

And the last point is highlighted separately. These are games

You should play kind, educational games with kids. And it is best to build a relationship with a five-year-old child in this form. This means that the baby needs to be captivated by one activity or another: turn cleaning into a fun competition to see who can put the cubes together faster; You can also turn cooking into a game, sew an apron for your child, and your baby will become your assistant in the kitchen.


Joint games will help parents better understand their children

You also need to participate in the children's games themselves. Just do it from the heart, with love, to be imbued with this process. Then the child will really be interested in his parents. And this is also the key to a good relationship with your own baby. Remember that you and your child should enjoy communication. If so, then you are on the right track!

The child’s psyche in such an early period is quite vulnerable. After all, he knows how to perceive the emotions of others, to be offended, ashamed, disappointed, this is exactly what he realizes at this age. Many people think that if a child has grown up and finds things to do independently, then they should not pay special attention to his upbringing. Parents spend a lot of time on their own affairs, forgetting about him, that he always wants to be paid attention to, wants to know that he is loved.

It is very important at this age to adhere to psychological methods: playing games together, reading books, doing classes, doing housework, because behavior is based on imitation of an adult, spending time together is the most important.

The child should feel responsible in the task assigned to him, and it is also necessary to praise him if he succeeded in doing something. If he tried, but couldn’t do it, you still need to praise him and say “next time it will definitely work out.”

The tasks of raising and educating a child

The main tasks of raising and educating boys and girls at 4-5 and 6 years old depend on parents and harmony in the family, first of all, these are:

teach them to communicate in society;
give as much information and knowledge as possible;
thank you for the help and gifts provided;
respect elders and do not interrupt them during conversation.
Psychology shows that at this age a love of performing in front of others, a desire to recite poetry, dance, and sing are revealed, so the task of parents is to help and develop the talents of their children.

Behavior and education

Correct upbringing and behavior during the period of 4-5 years develops cognitive activity well. It is necessary to carry out the tasks recommended by psychology, try to adhere to certain methods, find time to communicate with the child as often as possible, give him useful information, teach him everything new.

Now is the period when they are interested in everything, many questions arise, so a father for a boy or girl can become a real “teacher of life.” Men know a lot and can clearly answer a child’s question.

Moral qualities begin to form: sensitivity, understanding, kindness, and a sense of friendship are manifested. It is necessary to support and teach the boy and girl to have a positive attitude towards others.

Parents should know the psychology of behavior of boys and girls at this age and, by their own example, teach them to master the rules of a culture of behavior with peers and elders, to carry out assigned tasks, teach them how to behave correctly in public places, how to share toys, where to give in and where to stand his.

A five-year-old child is characterized by mood swings and unpredictability of behavior; children become physically and psychologically resilient and can fulfill the parent’s assigned tasks.

Now it is easy to agree with them, parents should become best friends with them. Good upbringing is based on love, which should be felt in all situations, even when you have done something bad; you don’t need to be afraid of your parents.

Always be on your child’s side, trust him, help him solve problems, be a support for him in life. Know how to always find an alternative, show understanding without violating the individuality of the little person.

Tips on how to properly raise a 4-year-old child

Upbringing must be correct, because this is an important age period for them. Personality traits are fixed and character is formed. A child copies the behavior of his own parents in his life, because adults are role models for him.

During this period, the main thing is to pay a lot of attention and develop cognitive processes. Psychology suggests giving your child entertaining tasks, telling him a lot, he finds it interesting and remembers it well.

Develop some rules in the family and strictly monitor their implementation, for example, the child must be able to clean up after himself, put away toys, throw garbage in a bin, etc. But it is advisable not to forget to praise and reward with a kiss for a job done.

Features of education

The peculiarities of raising a child of 4 and 5 years old are that they must adhere to established rules in the family, which should be strictly adhered to. If the mother has forbidden it, then the father must also be at the same time as the mother. There should be no exception: today you can, but tomorrow you can’t.

When raising parents, they must be observant and attentive in order to respond in a timely manner to the reasons for disobedience. The relationship between parents and children is built continuously, every day. A feature of upbringing is considered to be a correctly defined type of temperament, so taking it into account we can confidently say that communication and upbringing will be much easier and correct.

This rule will help to form a harmonious personality. You should always try to build trusting relationships, develop their personality, not limit their imagination, be able to listen, laugh more often with children, teach them to communicate, be able to react correctly to hysterics, allow them to make mistakes and learn from them.

Moral education of a child

The child begins to follow moral norms of his own free will, he can correctly make the right moral choice in practice. Psychology shows that during this period he develops moral values ​​​​of life and trusting relationships with people, empathy is shown, a feeling of guilt is manifested, and he becomes gullible. For everyone moral norms reinforce a social way of behavior, for example: “You can’t lie to adults,” “you can’t take someone else’s,” etc. They know how to differentiate what can be done and what cannot be done.

Moral development of children at 4-5 years old signs:

they form their first moral judgments and assessments;
begin to understand the meaning of moral norms;
the effectiveness of moral ideas increases;
conscious morality arises, that is, his behavior begins to adhere to the moral norm.
Proper upbringing advice from a psychologist

Proper parenting advice to parents from psychology

1. There is no need to ask questions that provoke bad behavior;
2. Make positive requests;
3. There is no need to explain to the child what he already knows;
4. No need to read hourly notations;
5. No need to manipulate the child
6. be able to find a compromise, teach how to overcome difficulties in life;

Difficulties in parenting at 4, 5 and 6 years old

Difficulties in upbringing arise when parents do not know the characteristics of children's behavior and constantly demand certain actions and achievements from the child, do not take into account his personal opinion, do not allow him to make decisions on his own, do not listen, constantly criticize, scold and humiliate. In this case, the girl or the boy completely shuts down, stops trusting his parents, does everything in defiance and shows his character, does poorly at school, and then has problems in adulthood. To avoid difficulties in upbringing, you need to start using psychological methods, first of all, you should learn to politely ask, and not order and demand, respond correctly to hysterics, and develop personality.

Working with kids at a children's party requires the animator to have maximum charm, delicacy and skill.

Before us is a child who has been swirled around in a whirlwind of hugs and congratulations; there are many children and adults around, most of whom he barely knows. And then an animator appears on the threshold. A stranger in a suit and wig. If children look at the character with caution, huddle close to their mothers and do not make contact, this speaks of proper upbringing and a healthy instinct of self-preservation.
If a child is afraid of a stranger, this is normal.

Advice for parents

What should parents do so that the appearance of an animator becomes a joy and not a test for the birthday boy and his guests? This is discussed in detail in the holiday decorations, children's menu, gifts and a comfortable number of guests.

Unfortunately, not all parents read useful advice, and the presenter, coming to the holiday, needs to delicately and as quickly as possible establish contact with the children and become their friend.

Glove puppets will ideally help us with this - soft and cute toys that literally come to life on the animator's hand and what a miracle - children smile and come closer!

Now little guests see in front of them not a stranger’s animator, but a toy, smaller than themselves. At this time, you can approach the children a little closer, provoke them into tactile contact: ask them to stroke a toy, feel sorry for it, help it cope with the embarrassment of the presence of so many guests.

All! Your children! Hurry up, put them in a circle and start the program!

We described in detail how to start the holiday, what activities can be done and how to set the rhythm of the holiday in the video that you will find.

How to make a glove helper doll, what games to play with it, what is the benefit of such a doll - we told

We will tell you how to use this toy in the video. Today we have a cat Piglet as our guest and he is in trouble. It’s good that there are children who can easily help a little animal.

Enjoy watching. Feel free to ask questions!

Hysterics with “crocodile” tears several times a day? Is your child so active that running around makes him feel dizzy? At the same time, is he extremely slow when getting ready to go outside and often literally gets stuck in the doorway? Take a deep breath, exhale - you are not alone.

In the modern world, children are born multi-vectored. After all, now, instead of the ancient savannah, we are surrounded by high-rise buildings, thousands of cars and gigabytes of information on the Internet. To survive, of course, we do not need to go hunting, kill mammoths, or gather. We must adapt to modern realities, when every second our brain simultaneously carries out hundreds of operations.

Our brain, and therefore our psyche, has become more complex and improved in accordance with the landscape.

So, if ancient man’s brain consisted mainly of subcortical formations (basic animal instincts), then modern man has an amazing superstructure in the form of the cerebral cortex.

Fifty thousand years ago, people for the most part were single-vector. More was not required for survival in the savannah: the owners of the skin vector were hunters and alimentators of the ancient pack, the analites passed on the accumulated knowledge and skills from generation to generation...

In the modern world of information, our psyche needs to be more “pumped up” and more perfect. Nature has made an “upgrade” of the human brain, which is expressed in the emergence of entire generations of children who simultaneously possess three or four, or even six or seven vectors. And the psyche of such children, accordingly, has become more complex, having collected the properties of all available vectors.
In children, vectors manifest themselves in their archetype. Thus, from childhood, a skin-skinned child gravitates toward constant physical contact with his mother: he likes to touch his mother’s skin, he likes to be stroked by his mother. As he develops, he develops a “haptic” talent: he learns the world through the touch of his skin, through touch, and he first of all grabs objects and toys that interest him with his hands and drags them into his mouth. When such a child learns to walk, he becomes literally elusive: a love of running and active games is revealed.

When a skin child begins to speak, you will often hear him say: "I am the first! Let's race! Let's play catch-up!».

Here, of course, the spontaneity and situational nature of the baby’s attention comes into play, which can be distracted in order to switch the child to another emotion. For example, from the last one: I didn’t want to leave a private clinic because they didn’t give me what I wanted. The hysteria was very spectacular: she was sobbing in the corridor, sitting on her knees, shedding squeezed out “crocodile” tears, smearing drool and snot all over her face and T-shirt. “Kind” nurses and orderlies literally danced around her with candy and all sorts of “goodies.” And my daughter, seeing the “grateful spectator,” became inflamed at the appearance of each new well-wisher. This continued until we were left alone in the doctor’s office (after the examination, he quickly retreated so as not to hear the baby’s theatrical sobs).

What did I do? She squatted down next to her, calmly talked about the situation, found out the reasons for her tears, and offered solutions (here skin tricks came to the rescue). As a result, we left the office completely calm, quickly got dressed and went home, stopping at her favorite restaurant on the way (this was part of our agreement).

Thanks to the knowledge gained in the full training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan, I understand the properties of my child’s psyche. I know why my daughter behaves one way or another in every situation. Systemic knowledge provides powerful support in raising modern multi-vector children.

Alfiya Smakova


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