Probably, in the current situation, he would be against your work and would simply offer money. You send this money home, where it is quietly put into a small bag or into a bank account.
Then your studies would have crumbled into pieces, but you would have continued, this is your future. Sudden movements and ultimatums are not allowed here; you have already received a slap in the face for one. Maneuver, be affectionate and flexible, agree with your mother-in-law on everything, reduce her vigilance and wariness.
As an argument for studying - (you seem to have written that you will be a pediatrician), you supposedly plan to have many children, so it will be wonderful when there is a pediatrician in the family. Children's health- it is very important.
You have just six months ahead, slowly, gradually, by the fall, to finish off this issue. As soon as you start learning to restore your relationships with friends and classmates, life will be more eventful and interesting.
Child - it is customary for Muslims to leave children to their husband during a divorce; as a rule, they are raised by their mother-in-law. I know a couple of such cases. Think about your relationship with your husband. In such a situation, I would not try to get pregnant with the next child; it would be more convenient to hide with one. And then - another child means at least a couple of years at home and, accordingly, problems with communication and study.
You can look for advantages in something - does your mother-in-law do everything around the house? - Amazing! It's better for you. How old is she, by the way, and how is her health? Don’t try to conflict with her, on the contrary, gain trust, and then depend on the situation. Try to neutralize your opponent in small ways. For example, she cooks, cook sometime when she leaves home on business, sleeps, is busy, etc. some kind of breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc., unusual and tasty, serve it in an interesting way.
And everything is literally point by point, what you don’t like, slowly persuade you to the options you need, there is no money for pocket expenses, you talk to your husband that it’s very inconvenient for you to strain your mother (him), that you need money for pads, it’s very inconvenient for you to ask her money, when you want to give her a gift (when she has a birthday, March 8th is coming soon), maybe he will be able to give you some amount of money? etc.
Well, and most importantly, try to talk with your husband at the moments of his greatest disposition - how he sees your relationship in the future. Tell us about yourself and your life. Maybe he will listen and think.
I would simply save up money, study, get on my feet, and in the absence of a desire on my husband’s part to change anything, take a child under my arm and send these comrades on an erotic journey on foot. ;-), although no, I’m already looking at the situation through your eyes, I would have a heart-to-heart talk with my husband and, in the absence of his desire to change anything, I would send him right away, and let them release Fatima from her village and have an uncomplaining slave. But that's me.
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO SOMEONE WHO MARRIES A MUSLIM.
But all these arguments, unfortunately, often have no effect on those who are in love. They say: “I will still only be happy with him, and therefore I don’t care what God and the Church say.” Someone who says this cannot, of course, be considered an Orthodox Christian. But we also have something to say to her. After all, by Baptism she still belongs to the Church, and until her death secret ties connect her with the Body of Christ. This is both an honor and a responsibility. Anyone who has already entered into a Covenant with God, even in childhood, can never become like those who are initially alien to the Creator. Prodigal son- still a son. God says: “Let there not be such a person among you who, having heard the words of this curse, would boast in his heart, saying: “I will be happy, despite the fact that I will walk according to the will of my heart”... The Lord will not forgive such a one, but immediately the anger of the Lord and His wrath will kindle against such a person, and all the curse of this covenant will fall on him, and the Lord will blot out his name from under heaven; and the Lord will separate him for destruction” (Deut. 29:20-21).
But also from a practical point of view, such a marriage for a person brought up in Christian tradition, will definitely be unhappy. After all, the attitude towards a woman in Islam is unbearable for those who were brought up on the idea of love between husband and wife as the norm of married life. For those who do not believe, it is worth citing Islamic norms of attitude towards a wife, which the unfortunate woman will have to fulfill if she wants to violate the word of God. So, from the point of view of Islam, “a woman is obliged to listen to her husband and show him complete obedience, except in cases where he demands something prohibited by Islam.” A woman comes to her husband's family. Without his permission, she cannot leave home or engage in professional activities.
The wife has the right to visit her parents and close relatives, although her husband may prohibit her from meeting her children from a previous marriage. In some Muslim countries, a husband can reduce his wife's visits to her parents to once a week. The wife has the right to refuse marital relations with the husband only if he has not contributed the share of the dowry agreed upon in the marriage contract, or during the period of fasting. Unreasonable refusal by the wife will lead to her “suspension”, i.e. divorce. This will also be the end of her use of contraceptives. The Muslim holy book, the Koran, calls on husbands to punish their wives in case of disobedience, disagreement, or simply to improve their character. The Koran says that “God has elevated men in their essence above women, and in addition, husbands pay the marriage dowry…. Scold them, intimidate them, when they don’t obey... - beat them. If wives are obedient, then be lenient towards them” (Quran 4:38; 4:34). Muslim theologian al-Ghazali calls marriage “a type of slavery for a woman. Her life becomes complete obedience to her husband in everything, if he does not violate the laws of Islam.” Raising children is the exclusive right of the husband. Even if the wife belongs to one of the “revealed religions,” that is, if she is a Jew or a Christian. Raising children in a different faith is prohibited by Muslim law.”
Let's add something else about the attitude towards women in Islam. “According to a common hadith – the saying of the “prophet” – most women will end up in hell. According to Ibn Umar, “the prophet said: O assembly of women! Give alms, ask more for forgiveness, for I saw that most of the inhabitants of the fire are you. And one woman from among them asked: Why are most of the inhabitants of fire us? He said: You curse a lot and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen that anyone with intelligence has more shortcomings in faith and intelligence than you” (Muslim, 1879). According to another hadith, “the prophet said: I have not left behind me a temptation more harmful to men than women” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
According to Sharia, “the testimony of two women in court is equivalent to the testimony of one man. Women are also prohibited from following the funeral procession. A Muslim man has the right to marry a woman of other faiths, but a Muslim woman cannot marry a man of other faiths.”
But here it is also worth noting that, having married a Muslim, a wife should under no circumstances expect marital fidelity from him. After all, he has the right to have up to four wives, as well as to enter into so-called contracts. “temporary marriages” for a period of 1 hour to a year (this is how prostitution is often justified). If Russian state laws prohibit polygamy, then in practice it existed and still exists.
So, dear ladies, when entering into an Islamic marriage, you must be prepared for the fact that you will be treated like animals, and for infidelity that is not even considered such, and for beatings from your husband, sanctioned by the Koran. (And for Muslim husbands, even in Europe, Islamic theologians publish special books on the correct ways to beat their wives so as not to mutilate your body too much, so that you can continue to use it and not end up in a secular court). If you like all this - please! Just don’t say that my lover would never do that because he is good. In addition to your partner (the word of God does not allow me to call him a husband), there is also his family, which he himself must obey, whether he wants it or not. A little later we will provide evidence of what awaits a woman in reality if she ends up in a modern Islamic family. But first, let's also say that you don't have to count on a long and happy life in strong family. After all, according to the rules of Islam, a husband can easily divorce his wife. This can be a correct divorce (muborot) at the request of the husband with an explanation of the reasons, or a joint decision of the husband and wife, or it can be simply a divorce at the request of the husband without explaining the reasons in a simplified form (talaq), after he utters one of the established phrases: “you are excommunicated” or “unite with the family.”
In case of divorce, the husband must allocate the necessary property to his wife “according to custom.” Divorced woman stays in house for three months ex-husband to determine if she is pregnant. If a child is born, it must be left in the father's house. The wife can demand a divorce only through the court, citing only strictly defined grounds: if the husband has physical disabilities, does not fulfill marital duties, treats his wife cruelly, or does not allocate funds for her maintenance.
At the same time, if the spouses suddenly want to reunite again, then in Islam there is a monstrous decree that for this the wife must first marry another man, divorce him, and only after that return to the previous one: “If he divorced her, then not she is allowed to him afterwards until she marries another husband, and if he gives her a divorce, then there is no sin over them if they return” (Quran 2.230).
In an emancipated society, the question of how to please your husband is not very relevant. The vast majority of modern women will tell you that you don’t need to please anyone, because you are an independent, integral person, and you should, first of all, be loved, and not exploited in your own interests.
Marry a Muslim: aspects of a future marriage
It's no secret that in Islam there are centuries-old traditions that cannot be violated. And if you decide to connect your life with a representative of this religion, you must be fully prepared to learn to submit to your spouse.
Let’s assume that your romance is developing so rapidly that Mendelssohn’s solemn march is already ringing in your head, and you can almost imagine the portrait of your future child together. But everything is complicated by the fact that your chosen one lives according to the Koran. If you have given your heart to a Muslim, you will have to learn to live according to other people's traditions and observe other people's laws.
It's no secret how zealously the representatives of this culture honor its commandments. Allah is sacred to them, and they can only live according to his laws. Of course, if we are talking about real Muslims, and not about Europeanized representatives of eastern countries.
What is your role?
So, if you have seriously fallen in love with a Muslim, you should know what you should do next to build a family and marry him.
In the near future you should do the following:
- Meet his parents, and will certainly please them. True, even in the second case, no one will guarantee that they will be ready to sacrifice their principles and allow a Christian woman to stay in their home. It's no secret that Muslims try to choose representatives of the same religion as life partners for their children. And if they are categorically against you purely out of religious convictions, you can forget about your Eastern prince forever. People who live according to the laws of the Koran respect and honor their parents more than anyone else in the world. And their opinion is guaranteed to become decisive for them, even if the man himself loves you “ until your heart stops" How to please your future husband and his mother? First, you need to look modest. When going to your first meeting, forget about the existence of miniskirts and bodysuits with a deep neckline in your wardrobe. However, this rule is relevant for meeting any parents. Secondly, immediately indicate that you see your future in their son, for which you are ready to live. Third, be restrained and listen more than you talk. Show them that you respect them no less than your own son;
- Accept another faith. If you manage to please your loved one’s mother and charm his father, you should be ready for the next step - accepting Islam. According to Muslim law, you must renounce the Christian faith and embrace Islam. As a rule, this happens either immediately or over time. But keep in mind - until you have entered into a legal marriage, you can think about it and refuse. If your legal husband orders you, there will be no way to retreat (only divorce). In principle, according to the Koran, a Muslim is allowed to marry an “infidel” (a non-believer) only in order to convert her to Islam. Therefore, think hundreds of times whether you are ready to take such a step;
- Live according to the laws of the Koran. Naturally, your religious “adventures” do not end with the adoption of Islam. Now you must live exclusively according to the laws of the Muslim holy book. And wearing a hijab in this case- not the worst thing you will have to practice. By the way, according to the laws of the Koran, some marriages between a Muslim and a Christian are a priori impossible. If you are his teacher or pupil, were previously married to a Muslim, are closely related to him, were the wife of his father, brother or son, you don’t have to dream of an alliance with him. The ban on marriage also applies if you are a pagan;
- Behave according to the Koran. Continuing the previous paragraph, there are a few more specific nuances. From now on, you will have to lower your eyes when meeting any man, hide your body and jewelry under clothes, cover your hair with a scarf, move silently, and not visit someone else’s home without the permission of your husband. You also have no right to leave your home alone. A loving mother-in-law will immediately tell you about all these rules. By the way, you now have to please her no less than your husband. You must obey the new “mother” in everything, and turn a blind eye to injustice, or even meanness on her part. If you dare to complain to your husband, he is guaranteed to take your mother’s side, and you may also get a hard time. In fact, a woman in Islam is a creature almost completely powerless. The purpose of her existence is to please her husband and run the household. Are you ready for such a fate?;
- Be completely submissive. This point concerns not only everyday, but also sexual aspects of marriage. How to please your new husband in bed? Obey and do whatever he wants. By the way, you do not have the right to refuse him sexual contact. The ban is lifted only during religious holidays, your menstruation and postpartum period. IN family life with a Muslim you must even tolerate violence if your spouse wants it. However, usually representatives of this religion are quite “courteous” in bed with their chosen ones;
- Tolerate polygamy. The Koran says that a man should marry women who are dear to his heart. A Muslim can have up to four wives, as well as concubines. No one will ask for your advice and approval in this matter. But everything will be extremely honest in terms of material support– all income is distributed evenly to each of them. If your fiancé isn't rich, you'll probably be " the one and only" However, no one can guarantee that the search for the remaining wives will not be carried out caring parents your husband. Moreover, you will have to nod approvingly, and perhaps even help your mother-in-law with the choice. And don’t even think about getting into arguments - these are the prescribed laws of Islam;
- Tolerate punishment. Perhaps this point is the most sensitive of all. The Koran says that a man can use physical force against his woman if she disobeys, or simply “to improve her character.” At the same time, he can hit you, but not in the face or other vulnerable places. There should also be no traces of beatings on your body. And the beatings themselves, according to the Koran, should not cause a woman suffering. A man has no right to beat a woman “indiscriminately” or for minor offenses. If all this happens, you can demand a divorce in a Sharia court;
- Remember about divorce according to the Koran. Divorce in Muslim countries, like everything else, is one-sided. Usually the initiative belongs to the man. In this case, it is enough for him to repeat in front of witnesses three times "You are no longer my wife", and your union is automatically dissolved. The Christian herself remains completely powerless in this case. Please note that you will not be able to take the children, just as you will not be able to defend your rights in court. But there are also pleasant exceptions;
- Reproduce offspring. One of the main goals of Muslim men is reproduction, so childlessness can be a significant reason for a breakup. You must also be prepared to give birth as much as is required of you.
A wedding according to the Koran can take place both at home and in a mosque. And, interestingly, even without the participation of the couple. It is enough to ask the witnesses to go to the mosque for the wedding ceremony.
Know his responsibilities
- Your husband must fully provide for you, and also bear full responsibility for the well-being of the family. He is obliged to support and protect you, in addition, to give you due attention. If a man avoids providing for his wife, or does not pay attention to her for a certain time (this mainly concerns intimate life), you have the right to file for divorce. But know that divorce is “ the most hateful of the lawful in the sight of Allah».
- Yes, a Muslim man needs to be loved, cherished and cherished without any special feelings in return. Yes, Muslim men love complete submission from a woman. And yes, from now on you will feel like a real slave in freedom.
Still want to know how to please your Muslim husband, or are you already looking at Slavic guys? In any case, we support your choice and are always ready to provide you with valuable advice.
Be happy in your marriage!
This is a union of two people, but partners do not always have similar opinions or religious views. This is why certain difficulties often occur. To be happy with their husband, women are ready to do a lot, even to change their faith. Christians and Muslims - is there a chance to become happy together or should we give preference to a man with different views?
In fact, it's up to you, because if you clearly decided If you are ready to give in and put up with some peculiarities, then there is a high probability that you will be happy. How is the marriage of a Christian and a Muslim different from the marriage of people of the same religion? You will learn about this in this article.
What awaits a woman who decides to marry a Muslim?
1. Religious differences. Some representatives of the fair sex are quite indifferent to faith or even deny any manifestations of it. If you adhere to Christianity, then marrying a Muslim will not be so easy for you. Sometimes it is not so easy to adapt to new rules and principles, especially if you are clearly sure that you are right. If a Muslim gives in or changes his faith, then this is something of an exception, so you should be prepared that you will have to change. You can always remain neutral, but if you are a deeply religious person, you will not be able to do this for long.
2. Other requirements for a wife. Many modern women They are clearly confident that everyone on the planet is equal, regardless of gender, but Muslims do not think so. You will have to accept that your main task will be to lead household and willingness to satisfy her husband’s needs at any time. If you are clearly sure that you are not ready to serve a man, it is better to refuse marriage with a Muslim. It is unlikely that a Muslim will forgive you for not preparing dinner or not being ready to have sex.
3. Willingness to obey. A Muslim always believes that he is right, and his wife’s opinion is a secondary concept for him. Remember how their parents forced them to listen and obey? Be prepared that you will have to be like this with your Muslim husband. Some women believe that Muslims do not listen to the opinions of their wives at all and act only as they want. This is not entirely true, because they often consult with their wives. But remember that no matter what you advised or suggested to him, last decision will remain with him. Some people think that this is normal, but for others this attitude is a disadvantage. A smart wife will always be able to present her opinion in such a way that the man thinks that this is his decision, so if your love is strong, it’s worth a try.
4. You can't refuse intimacy. All excuses about headaches, bad mood or problems at work will not interest your Muslim husband at all. The wife does not have the right to refuse sex, because he is the head of the family, and his desire is the law. An exception may be when you are on your period or are seriously ill. Headache and simply being unwell is not a good reason to refuse sex. Even if you don’t want it at all, you will have to please your loved one and be the most passionate for him.
5. You'll have to hide your body and face. Surely you have heard that many Muslim women cover their faces and bodies. This is necessary so that other men do not have the opportunity to look at you. A Muslim wife can only please the eyes of her husband, and will have to hide from other representatives of the stronger sex. This requirement most often applies to Muslim women, but if you are a Christian and are going to marry a Muslim, be prepared for the fact that this will also be required of you.
6. A Muslim can have 4 wives. In Christianity it is accepted that one man can be married to one woman, but in Islam polygamy is practiced. Not all Muslims decide to marry more than one woman, so there is a chance that you could be the one for him. Your marriage will be more traditional for you if you stay in your country and do not go to his homeland. If you decide to change your place of residence, there is a high probability that he will eventually introduce you to another of his wives.
7. Your husband has the right to punish you physically. Much has been said about domestic violence, but it is not something scary among Muslims. If a wife does not listen to her husband, shows her character and tries to be an equal with him, he can punish her physically. A rather unpleasant fact, but you must be prepared for it. The most important thing is that no traces of beatings remain on her body, because then the wife has the right to file for divorce.
Don't expect a Muslim to forget his traditions
Many women They sincerely hope that their loved one is quite modern, and all traditions are not as important for him as for more mature representatives of the Muslim faith. Often young guys go to study in other countries, where they meet Christian girls. Of course, they partially forget about some of the rules and principles of their faith, but this is quite short-lived. As soon as he returns to his home, where his loved ones live, he immediately remembers the traditions and adheres to them in strict order. If you decide to go live with your chosen one, then be prepared for the fact that many things will surprise or even shock you. There is a high chance that your boyfriend will behave completely differently than in your country. You can convince yourself as much as you like, but marriage with such a person will not be easy; you will probably have a number of difficulties due to disagreements and differences in faith.
As you can see, the marriage of two people who do not stick to one faith, can be quite complex and specific. You yourself must understand that the choice is yours, so decide what is right for you and what is unacceptable for you. Now you know what the features of marriage with a Muslim are, so you won’t be shocked. Listen to your heart, but don't forget about your mind, because you just might ruin your life.
A marriage where spouses belong to different faiths has two aspects, domestic and spiritual. And if from the point of view of everyday life everything may look fine, then from a religious point of view many questions arise. Muslim and Christian - opinions of Orthodox priests.
Like in a Turkish TV series
A popular request on the Internet is: Muslim husband sad stories. Alas, the marriage of an Orthodox woman and a Muslim is the most unfortunate example of interfaith cohabitation. Especially if the husband is a foreigner. Read women's forums. Events develop according to a typical scenario, approximately as in this plot:
Katya met Fatih on vacation in Turkey. At first sight she was captivated by this dark, slender guy with a white-toothed smile. Before that, she watched the series “The Magnificent Century” twice and was fascinated by Turkish culture. The heroine of the series, a Slavic woman who ended up in the Sultan’s harem and became the ruler of the world, seemed to Katya to be similar to herself. She even dyed her hair golden-red, loved flashy jewelry and bright dresses, bought oriental sweets for coffee, she also wanted to say the mysterious words “Inshallah” and “Mashallah” and, of course, love a powerful and noble man of a different religion.
Each of us has our own fairy tale, our own temptation that seduces us through monotonous everyday life.
From the first minutes of her stay in Istanbul, Katya was waiting for a miracle - not just a meeting with a man, but crazy passion, like in the movies. And Fatih appeared. His profession was prosaic - a hotel employee. But what beautiful roses he gave and spoke compliments in good Russian - Katya believed that his work helped him master Russian. She also liked the fact that he wasn't a beach bum. Katya herself was finishing her studies as a pharmacist and dreamed of having her own pharmacy in her native town near Moscow, and later of an entire pharmacy chain. The father, a wealthy man, had not lived with his family for a long time, but supported his daughter financially and promised to help with the business.
Russian and Ukrainian hotel neighbors also met with Turks. Many people didn’t take it seriously – it was a holiday romance. They warned Katya that the Turks did not take white women seriously, but she did not believe it, and indeed, before leaving, Fatih proposed to her and gave her a ring. Now she had someone to say “ashkym” - favorite, like in the series.
“I’ll open a pharmacy in Turkey,” Katya dreamed. At home, she threw a large silk scarf over her head and twirled in front of the mirror, assessing whether a hijab would suit her?
The girl was baptized, but Islam attracted her like the religion of a beloved man.
Russians are religiously illiterate, although 70% consider themselves Orthodox.
I have met educated older people who have an understanding of Christianity only thanks to a children's Bible they bought for their grandson. A weak understanding of one's religion does not contribute to piety. And Katya ran into the church when she was in the mood - because it was beautiful there. She did not understand the meaning of the prayers; it did not occur to her to study Church Slavonic. But because of Fatiha, I started going to Muslim sites. Some articles caused her rejection, but she humbled herself in order to feel and think like an invaluable “ashkym”.
Her parents were suspicious of her fiancé, but Katya fought back, persistently asked her father for the promised money, and when he transferred the amount to the card, she went to Turkey to build a family life.
The young people got married and even performed nikkah - a wedding according to Muslim rites. Problems arose with the acquisition of the pharmacy - a lot of documents were required, and Katya did not yet have Turkish citizenship. Fatih said that he could open a cafe in his home village with this money. The couple left the Turkish capital.
The house in the mountain village was two-story, but poorly furnished and dilapidated. The newlyweds were given a room on the second floor above the goat pen, and Katya woke up to the bleating of cattle, and not to the song of a nightingale in love with a rose.
The mother-in-law and wives of Fatih's two brothers greeted Katya unfriendly, and gradually shifted all household chores onto her shoulders. What was she waiting for? This is the share of the youngest daughter-in-law in a Turkish family if the young people live with older relatives.
Gradually, she learned that Fatih was dating a dozen visiting girls, looking for a more profitable party.
Local Turkish women did not set their sights on him because of poverty. And something didn’t go well with the newcomers - either the girl was not eager to get married, or she seemed not rich. Unless I studied Russian. Katya’s willingness to dissolve in Turkish culture and convert to Islam, plus money for a pharmacy, played a role.
The Fatiha Cafe, which he handed over to his father, attracted visitors. The family made a profit, but Katya did not see a penny. But Fatih's mother began to say that her son should take a second wife - from the locals, because according to Islam he had the right to do so. Apparently, this was how the mother-in-law hoped to get rid of her Russian daughter-in-law. In the kitchen, teaching Katya, she could roughly push her, and the poor thing heard barbs every day.
Fatih quickly lost interest in his wife and often left for Istanbul. As Katya suspected, have fun with horny tourists. Sometimes she found time to go on the Internet, where she complained to her friends about her fate, gaining determination to get a divorce. I tried to pray, but someone else’s faith did not provide consolation, and Katya, in fact, did not know her own, Orthodox faith.
Of the luxury of the Turkish TV series, she got only the exclamations “Mashallah” and “Inshallah” and a scarf, which, as usual, covered her golden-red curls. My favorite TV series now caused irritation, like a bait that lured me to a foreign country.
But maybe Katya misunderstood him? After all, “The Magnificent Century” showed the endless squabbles of the harem, and the heroine’s oblivion of faith, and the rejection of the Orthodox name, and her blind love for the Sultan, who was ruining Christian lands...
To be fair, it is worth noting that not all “Turkish wives” from Russia have a sad fate. The closer the husband is to European civilization, the fewer problems complicate the life of the visiting wife.
One Turk, lo and behold, was even baptized for the sake of his wife, but in other cases, his wives accepted Islam.
In Arab countries, the life of a European woman is more dangerous - there traditions entangle women like heavy chains. There are also successful marriages and even a number of Arab wives who have been baptized, which has to be hidden from relatives - for example, in Saudi Arabia. But where is the guarantee that your chosen one will turn out to be like this?
Russian women have been suing Eastern men for children for years - in Islamic culture it is customary to leave heirs with the father during a divorce.
Of course, opponents can say: the character of a husband does not depend on nationality, how many Russian women are tyrannized by men of the same clan-tribe. I personally have suffered so much with “true Aryans” that I would rather be interested in an eastern man. But their perception of women is complicated by centuries-old traditions, the demands of relatives and the orders of their historical homeland - if we talk about a foreigner.
Why is an Eastern man interesting to a European woman? Because he thinks and acts differently. Decisive, courageous, passionate. But in this difference, along with attractiveness, there is danger. It’s easy to admire an authoritarian movie character, but sharing a home and raising children with such a gentleman is difficult. Especially in his homeland. He is the master there, the laws are on his side, and even the police will turn a blind eye to aggression against his visiting wife.
The problem is that we Slavs are ready to dissolve in the culture of a loved one, accept it and betray our own, which seems of little interest. This is the negative side of our sacrifice.
But most men don't appreciate her. They are self-confident and believe: this is how it should be. When giving birth to children, the apostate gives them to a foreign people of a different religion. Thinks least of all about the soul. But it is not a fact that having lost herself as a person for the sake of physiology, a lady will receive respect in return.
Gentiles and non-Orthodox
The Orthodox Church divides representatives of other religions into heterodox and heterodox.
Non-believers include Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and sectarians. To the heterodox - Catholics, Lutherans, Protestants, Armenian Gregorians and some others - they also glorify Christ, but in a different way.
Before Peter the Great, marriages between Orthodox Christians and non-Orthodox Christians were prohibited. But the tsar set a course for Europe and invited scientists and craftsmen from there to Rus'. Of course, families of Russians and foreigners began to be created.
And the church, for political reasons, was forced to allow marriages with non-Orthodox people, but not with people of other faiths. However, the children of the spouses had to grow up in the Orthodox faith.
The issue of children is fundamental for all faiths. No religion wants to lose the younger generation to another religion. Here is the imam's view on interfaith marriage: the marriage of a Muslim to a chaste and well-behaved woman of Christian culture is permitted, but must be taken into account:
- maintaining the husband's status in the family according to the canons of Islam;
- the desirability of the spouse accepting the Islamic faith;
- - the obligation to raise children in the spirit of morality and religiosity commanded by the Holy Quran.
Occasionally, democratically minded parents leave the choice of faith to the discretion of the child - as he grows up, he decides for himself. Does this seem reasonable? But the clergy do not approve of this approach, believing that religious education should begin from the first years of a baby’s life. From birth, a person needs the protection and help of the Almighty. It turns out that the parents themselves cry out to God for support, but leave the child to the mercy of fate. Isn't this cruel?
The marriage of an Orthodox woman and a Catholic also has its own characteristics. Of course, the difference between mentalities and religions is not as strong as in the case of Islam. But still, someone must sacrifice their faith or everyone performs their rituals alone, but then the family loses cohesion and spiritual closeness.
From the point of view of Orthodoxy, a family is a small church. There are many similarities:
- a family, like a church, consists of believers, but in addition to a common faith, it is united by ties of kinship;
- like in church, in the family they do common prayers and celebrate religious holidays;
- They see the main goal as the transformation of the soul, deliverance from sins, and unity with God.
The Orthodox wedding rite reflects this approach in prayers, where the Creator is asked for “unanimity of souls and bodies,” to unite them “in one mind” and to preserve them “in peace and unanimity.”
But one can only dream of a family idyll where dad goes to church, mom goes to church, grandma goes to the synagogue, grandfather goes to the mosque, and the children have not yet made their choice, and adults are trying to change them to their side.
In Russia, there are families where a lamb is slaughtered on Kurban Bayram, and a Easter cake is lit on Easter, it seems that the friendship of peoples is an echo of Soviet internationalism, but it is difficult for me to imagine what is going on in the minds of such people, what kind of mess is there, sorry.
And even after death, such families are divided. An Orthodox spouse does not have the right to bury a non-Orthodox person according to his own rite, serve a memorial service for him, or remember him at a liturgy. Orthodox Christians should not be buried in Catholic cemeteries, as well as Muslim ones, and vice versa.
The problem of the posthumous fate of the soul arises, since most of the holy fathers affirm: its salvation is only in Orthodoxy.
But this is a separate complex topic.
Opinions of Orthodox clergy
I asked Orthodox priests:
– What could you advise a girl, your parishioner, who fell in love with a Catholic or Muslim and marries him? Our readers will be interested in your opinion, because in Russia marriages with people of other faiths are concluded all the time.
Archpriest Mikhail Nikitin, St. Nicholas Church (Aleksin).
Archpriest Mikhail Antipov, Church of St. George the Victorious (Khryashchevka village).
“The only advice is not to seduce respected men of another faith and ruin their lives. The fact is that a man, like a male, will sooner or later persuade his family to live according to the rules of his faith. What could happen next? Please refer to the statistics of such marriages. Personally, I am against such unions, since in the future great patience will be required and even experienced love will have to be forgotten, and family life without love is already some kind of social organization.”
