When communicating with one pretty girl on a dating site, she said the phrase: “You’re strange, you’re probably a marriage swindler,” and after that the communication quickly faded away.
Willy-nilly, I had to become interested in who marriage swindlers really are?
I read a lot of material on the topic on the Internet. As we managed to find out, if I really was a marriage swindler, it would never have occurred to the girl to come to such a conclusion, reasons:
The marriage swindler would turn the poor girl's head so much that dubious thoughts would not enter her head;
The girl lived on a small salary, her registration in our city was temporary (renewed every six months with the help of distant relatives), she rented a room for two with a work friend, her parents were sick old people, living on a meager pension earned on a state farm, in a house that was rickety from time to time.. She is not an object, even for a novice swindler...
So who are these marriage scammers? The phrase itself has been familiar to us since Soviet times (they existed, naturally, before, from time immemorial) from official newspaper chronicles.
This type of fraud especially flourished in our country during the years of the collapse of the USSR and the rampant “democracy”.
General characteristics of a marriage swindler.
Marriage swindler - a man of men! The fact is that, no matter how base a fraudster is, he adores and idolizes women. He understands them, he sympathizes with them, he knows how to listen to them, he himself takes great pleasure in caring for them, and he knows how to do it elegantly and at the same time naturally like no one else. He will never forget to open (and hold!) the door for a lady, give her a coat (and help her put it on), extend his hand on the stairs or on a difficult section of the road, help her get into the car... In a word, the dream of any self-respecting woman.
The marriage swindler is sincere, he really enjoys courting a woman! How can a woman in this situation feel the catch?
The marriage scammers themselves sincerely believe that they did not rob their victims, but “took payment for warmth and affection,” for the attention that they will never receive from ordinary men. By the way, we, who consider ourselves normal, law-abiding men, create fertile ground for scammers with our callous, dismissive attitude!
What harm does it do to a woman?
The swindler's ultimate interest is mercantile. Sex serves only as a means of production and a pleasant addition. Particularly unlucky ladies lose their entire acquired fortune (if the swindler is a generalist and also acts as an apartment swindler, etc.), they lose large sums of money, jewelry, expensive antiques - everything that can be carried away, transferred to your account and is easy to successfully sell or hide until better times.
Where do scammers find their victims?
Yes, everywhere you can think of, and even where you can’t - this public is amazingly inventive in getting money and the pleasures that accompany it. The press described a case when a swindler managed to meet his “beloved” in... the women's restroom! Therefore, this question cannot be answered unequivocally; marriage swindlers have any number of techniques and methods of dating, and they can be found in nightclubs, in transport, in a supermarket, on a playground and even in... a cemetery! Recently, due to the massive popularity of dating sites, scammers are increasingly using the Internet.
How does a marriage swindler work?
First of all, he must win the lady over. Find out information about her financial status from her. If a potential victim’s “finances sing romances,” interest is suddenly lost, the scammer disappears, appears in another place and starts all over again.
If the woman approaches, the second stage begins. In this case, the swindler must get into the victim’s house. And not only come to visit - he needs to move there for a while, lull the woman’s vigilance and, having robbed her completely, disappear without a trace.
What touches women?
He makes a woman feel that she is a woman. That she is loved and desired. That she is the one and only. But the fraudster would not be a marriage swindler if he did not know the psychology of women even more deeply. Women are attracted to elements of heroism, mystery, and understatement. Therefore, scammers often present themselves as secret intelligence agents, sea captains, employees of secret design bureaus, retired assistants of overthrown oligarchs, etc. This type of activity, extensive connections, and power can supposedly help a woman solve her problems, including mercantile ones. What has been said is effective for any woman, representative of any country. Russian women have their own specific type of weakness, unique to them - compassion. This is what our domestic marriage scammers use most often. Those. In Russia, it is the kind, sincere and compassionate women who most often suffer.
Geography of the scammer.
Marriage swindlers usually operate far from their permanent habitats, from their relatives and past “victims”. This most often means “I moved from another city”, “on a business trip”, “I came to visit a sick relative”, “I work abroad”, “to earn money”, etc. A more or less experienced swindler will never appear in the same place where he committed his last crime.
Consequences for the female victim
Financial and material losses were discussed above. But as practice shows, in most cases ladies suffer not from the loss of money and jewelry, but from the loss of the dream of their whole life - her man!... They file statements with the police mainly not to return stolen property, but to return her only one a man... For them now it's like a drug. Women often end up in psychiatric hospitals out of hopelessness.
Is it possible to hook up a marriage swindler for life?
No and no again! This is precisely where most of their victims screwed up! No one has ever been able to re-educate such types and make exemplary husbands out of them. So don't try it.
But there is a caveat. Sooner or later our rascal will grow old or become sick and infirm. If he is lucky for the last time in his life, he will find refuge with some compassionate, lonely woman. The funny thing is that she won’t even realize that she has the lifelong dream of other women! Well, what kind of Casanova or Don Juan is he, if he not only cannot care for a woman, but also convey his excrement to the latrine?
How can a woman protect herself from fraud?
The advice is the same as any mother who loves her daughter gives - don’t meet just anyone, anywhere! Do not trust the first person you meet, no matter how attractive, pleasant, mysterious and promising he looks, no matter how much compassion he evokes!
Marriage swindler on a dating site
The story of a woman who miraculously uncovered a marriage swindler operating through dating sites in a timely manner. The story is told on her behalf and in her words. She is registered on our forum, but asked not to disclose her name - who knows?
By registering on dating sites, each woman pursues her own goals. Most people try to find their soulmate, sincerely believing that somewhere on the vast expanses of the Internet the one and only one is waiting for them. There are those who have their own clear goal - to catch a wealthy romantic man in their net. They hope that after a good dose kind words Yes, their admirer will be ready to throw his fortune at their feet. And there are those who, by registering on dating sites, simply want to dispel the boredom of either unfulfilled family relationships or loneliness. Such people, as a rule, do not have hopes of a real meeting; they simply value communication, which is lacking in life.
Imagine my surprise when one “fine” day I received a letter to my email address with a link to this site, which announced a new message for me. Entering there, the surprise increased - a certain Anthony Razino, an Italian, wrote to me. Quite handsome and well-off, cultured, without any rudeness or vulgarity, he asked for my email address, since it would be much more convenient for him to write letters to me. My heart, I won’t hide it, skipped a beat. What if this is the only chance that occurs one in a million? After all, I have nothing to lose. And I answered him. Well, that’s where it all started! Every day there are warm, polite letters, words that he has found his one and only. First, let's move on to you, then dear, then dear, and as a crown - my dear. I was jubilant, can I really be so needed by someone like that? significant person from Italy, who has his own house in the suburbs of Milan, his own restaurant, and at the same time there is nothing repulsive to me either in appearance or in correspondence?
My 12 year old daughter joyfully shared my dreams and joyful surprise. Some little worm inside me squeaked - DON'T BELIEVE, DON'T BELIEVE! But can a lonely woman, caressed with warm words and showered with a heap of sweet compliments, pay attention to this? Unfortunately no. We want to believe in fairy tales, just like when we were children. And if the realities of life do not allow this, then near the computer monitor, alone with her soul, a woman abstracts herself from real life, and becomes a naive little girl, firmly believing in what she herself wants to believe.
After a week of such daily correspondence, having notified me in advance of his departure on business to Naples, my precious Italian informed me that he had sent me a gift through a delivery service. My delight knew no bounds, although the worm of doubt still gnawed at me from within. And then a day later, to the number mobile phone I receive an SMS with approximately the following content: "a parcel from Anthony Razino has been sent to your address. Your login.... invoice number...." from the "jat-express" service. Something alarmed me in this message, and I decided to dig around on the Internet. And then I discover that such a delivery service simply does not exist! There is a serious worldwide parcel delivery service called JET-EXPRESS, but JAT-EXPRESS is not! The difference is one letter. Another day later, a message was sent to my email address: “... to receive the parcel you must pay courier services in the amount of 1,200 rubles...” But I was already having fun because I didn’t fall for this scammer’s bait. And it was terribly offensive that I could even believe in such a beautiful romantic story. The banal saying FREE CHEESE IS ONLY IN A MOUSETRAP brings us back to earth every time if we fall into the hands of some scammers.
It’s a shame that because of such adventurers who extract money from people by playing on their feelings, we lose faith in the wonderful, bright feeling of love. And, as the prima donna Alla Borisovna sang in a song known to everyone: “How can you live in the world without love?”
Vorobyov looked at the family photo in a frozen pose and could not believe what was happening. No, this cannot be, this is some kind of bad dream. What is happening is some kind of obsession. After all, there was all the best: a beloved wife, happiness from the appearance of such a desired baby.
After the divorce, he could not come to his senses for a long time; it was a burden for him to return to an empty, cold apartment. Neither his family nor his friends made him happy. It seemed that his whole life had collapsed like a house of cards. He often thought about suicide and woke up in a cold sweat after having nightmares.
When he came to his senses after the divorce, he studied the art of pickup, began to meet people on the Internet and change his new acquaintances like gloves. In order not to waste money, he invited new girl for a walk in your new beautiful neighborhood. “We have everything here,” Vorobyov proudly told another girl. “If you want, ride a bike, if you want, ski. We have all the conditions. And what an air.”
Another girl listened to Vorobyov, blinking her eyes, wondering to herself how she could get a good job living in this area in a new house, and such a kind, gallant husband would support her. Such walks were especially impressive for visiting regional girls living in a rented apartment or huddling with their relatives in cramped conditions. old apartment. Such girls, already on the first evening, were ready to do anything just to stake out a place of bread, write out a ticket to a new beautiful life, and even if there is a puncture, have fun and leave Vorobyov as an alternate airfield, you never know.
Having slept with another girl, Vorobiev drove her to the right place, accompanied her to the stop, or he could simply ask her to get ready and escorted her to the door. Then, according to his well-established system, he kissed, said “call me” and went to work, where he boasted of another victory.
He didn’t even realize that he hadn’t truly satisfied any girl. He thought he was a tough macho guy. The girls either didn’t speak so as not to offend him, or they merged, realizing that happiness with such Vorobyov was a rather risky and failed project; it was worth looking for a more worthy life partner. If the next “bride” began to impose herself and even download her license, Vorobyov had no trouble insulting her over the phone and sending her away, after which the girl would leave on her own. But there were also those who could not believe what was happening, and then the next bride could not stand it and began to throw hysterics and write rude SMS, because she had her own clear plans for him. .
And there were also girls who could not understand why he treated him like that and suffered, simply not knowing the whole story with his ex-wife and not understanding that Vorobyov was taking revenge on them for the way he had treated him. ex-wife Irina.
Irina was a very pretty girl that guys looked at. She came to enroll in a big city from a small village with a funny, absurd name. The big city stunned the provincial young lady, and she realized that life could be completely different and the world was not her gloomy gray village with always drunk men.
Having cut her teeth in the regional city, she realized that such cute and pretty girls are a dime a dozen here and many, unlike her, also have wealthy parents, and for them she is just a “village”. And she no longer wanted to return to her outback without any prospects.
Then she figured that the only chance to escape from her native village was to go to university - to get successfully married. But after meeting several guys, she realized that not everyone would look after her, fulfill her wishes, and even more so take her to the registry office. It was here that she met Alexey - a kind, handsome guy, raised in matriarchy by an overbearing mother, ready at every minute to fulfill her every whim.
She just chuckled to herself, seeing how Alexey was shy, clumsily trying to look after her, looking at her with loving puppy eyes and ready to take her to the registry office right now. Well, Irina thought, so be it, I’ll marry him, and I’ll always have time to get a divorce and get married again. To finally subjugate the naive Alexei, Irina used a feminine trick as old as time - to say that she was pregnant and then fake a miscarriage. With someone like Alexey, this method went “with a bang” and it was possible to use this method further so that Vorobiev would continue to pamper, carry in his arms and idolize his “poor” girl.
Everything went according to plan. Gorgeous bride in beautiful dress, wedding, new life newlyweds who have their whole lives ahead of them. She understood that Alexei’s relatives didn’t like him, but she didn’t give a damn about her domineering mother-in-law, and even more so about her father-in-law, who was bullied by his wife. Now she is Alexei's owner. Now he is a rag in her hands, who will always obey her, support her, fulfilling all her needs and desires. Vorobiev turned out to be a wonderful husband. One thing is bad, he’s not very good in bed. But this is not a problem, there will be enough men for her lifetime. With her pretty face, finding a lover is not a problem; the neighbor has his eye on her.
When Vorobiev earned money for an apartment, she, already the owner of her city apartment, praised herself for not missing her chance and getting out of her native outback. All that remains is to give birth, and she will get rid of Vorobyov at the first opportunity. Vorobyov was quite fed up with her, but the situation without a child was precarious. In the event of a divorce, she will lose her own apartment and maintenance. She fulfilled her marital duty with Vorobyov out of habit and because she had to, there was nowhere to go, and for satisfaction she visited a handsome neighbor. Naive Alexey had no idea what was going on in his wife’s head. He idolized her and even in difficult times, when money ran out and his wife started scandals, he fulfilled all her wishes. Irina didn’t want to deny herself new clothes, salons and other feminine pleasures, just as she didn’t want to work herself. His wife increasingly reproached Vorobyov, but he endured and tried to solve all the problems. Irina’s pregnancy was not easy, but even here Alexey did everything possible to ensure that Irina received the vitamins she and the child needed. He paid for a separate room in the maternity hospital, with a face drunk with happiness and fussed over her and the baby.
From their side family life seemed perfect. But the more Vorobyov bent under his wife, the more disgusted he became with her. She could no longer pretend that she loved him, especially since motherhood for her, a spoiled girl, turned out to be more of a burden than a joy. She didn’t even suspect how difficult it would be, and the idea arose in her pretty head to get rid of Vorobyov at the first opportunity, but by squeezing him out properly. Both the apartment and the business should remain hers, period. It is possible to achieve a goal with such a naive sucker as Alexey by manipulating a child. All that remains is to wait for the right moment and do everything the way only she needs.
Irina did not think about the fact that the girl would grow up without a father. She grew up without a father and nothing. She thought only about herself, about her new prosperous city life, already free from her unloved husband. Live in your city apartment, receiving income from business and alimony from ex-husband, have more than one lover, and she will always have time to get married again with such an appearance.
Vorobyov remembered the divorce as if in a fog. He was ready to leave everything he had to his daughter. The thought that he would live separately from his family, and especially from his beloved daughter, constantly tormented his soul. During the divorce, Alexey lost his family, property, business and, along with the loss of the meaning of life, acquired the obligation to pay alimony, the expenditure of which he had no right to control.
After the divorce, Alexey broke loose and began changing women one after another. Then a crazy idea came to his mind. Vorobyov did not see anything bad if one of the women presented him with his child. He already imagined how he would visit and help the woman with his child, receiving joy and gratitude in return. He had no idea how disgraceful and deceitful this would turn out to be. After a difficult divorce, his ex-wife forbade him to see his daughter. At that moment, he didn’t want to live at all and sex with other people’s unloved women without protection and, as it seemed to him, a future desired child on the side became for him something like an antidepressant.
Two women, several months apart, told Vorobyov that they were pregnant with his child. From that time on, life moved very quickly. Alexey was torn between work and new mothers, running to the shops to buy vitamins, groceries, and then diapers, rompers, baby food, jumping ropes, walkers, toys. There was no time left for depression. When the kids grew up, he tried to discern his familiar features in them and was very surprised that not one of the kids looked like him. A hunch dawned on him. He didn't sleep for several nights. When he decisively notified the women that he wanted to do a DNA test, he met with a negative reaction with refusal, reproaches and hysterics. His guesses were confirmed. This was another terrible blow.
Reflecting on female meanness and insidiousness, Vorobiev drove along the highway to his relatives. Suddenly a truck flew into the oncoming lane. To avoid a collision, Vorobyov began to slow down and try to pull over to the side of the road. A sharp move to the right from the impact did not work out on the side of the road, as the speed was too high. The car flew into a ditch. My whole life flashed in one moment before my eyes. Alexey saw the episodes like in a movie recent years: a painful divorce, longing for his wife and daughter, an endless series of easily accessible strange women. He saw especially clearly the painted red-haired face of Tatyana and the cunning hamster face of Svetlana, who “made him happy” that “he would become a dad.”
He could not determine how long Vorobyov was unconscious. Alexei felt an unbearable dull pain in his head, and there was fog in his eyes. He tried to move his arms and legs, but his body did not obey. For a moment he felt very scared. After the divorce, he was severely depressed and contemplated suicide. But right now, more than ever in his life, he desperately wanted to live. At this terrible moment, he saw a blurry bright red spot on the car mat underneath him. “Blood,” thought Vorobyov.
It was impossible to scare Alexei with blood; he had been boxing since childhood and the sight of blood reminded him of the ring and the intoxicating feeling of victory. Instinctively, he reached out to the red spot. The hand obeyed, but instead of a puddle, the finger ran into a hard red object. “Strange,” thought Vorobyov, “What is this?” Raising the object to his eyes, he saw a red button. "Where?" - thought Vorobyov and groaned from the guess. My memory clearly brought to mind my native green eyes. When the women presented their children to him, he decided that this was his new real life and trampled into the dirt everything good and kind that he had with his beloved girl in a red coat, with his family and friends. A stingy tear rolled down Vorobyov’s unshaven cheek and fell onto the rug in the place where the button had previously been lying. Vorobyov heard the sound of a siren, which became louder. “An ambulance,” thought Vorobyov and lost consciousness.
Vorobyov woke up in a hospital room. The first thing he saw was the serious, kind eyes of the elderly doctor: “You were born wearing a shirt, young man, you got off easy.”
In the hospital, Alexei was looked after by a young, pretty nurse, Lenochka. At first, Vorobyov was shy and felt awkward. Then he started talking to her and became friends. Every morning he looked forward to the appearance of smiling Lenochka, like a ray of sunshine in a dark room. So he got a new meaning in life. After some time, he got used to it and fell in love with Helen so much that he didn’t know how he would continue to live without this angel.
After being discharged, Alexey found out when her shift would end, he arrived in a car with flowers, and was very nervous, waiting for her. When he saw her leaving, he approached her with trembling hands, handed her flowers, and offered her a ride home. He looked hopefully into her kind blue eyes and realized that a new happy life had begun for him.
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The desire to get married can turn into a crime drama. Increasingly, single women fall for the bait of marriage scammers. And at best, such a pseudo-gentleman will break an already lonely heart. As a rule, tears are accompanied by empty wallets, stolen things, and even the loss of one’s own home.
Until recently, Elena had her own apartment, prosperity and confidence in the future. And now she is forced to live with her daughter-in-law, store things on the balcony and pay off huge debts. Life changed when Elena met Dmitry. She keeps his photographs as evidence of bitter experience.
The man introduced himself as a retired officer and instantly charmed the lonely woman. She lived with him for two months, suffocating with happiness, and then Dmitry began to come less and less and each time asked for money to create his own business. He promised to marry and mountains of gold. Elena believed and gave every penny. Her children tried to explain that this man was a charlatan, but it was all to no avail.
Elena Okhotina: “In this state, you don’t listen to anyone. The person no longer lives with you, the person no longer has any relationship with you. He just comes, takes the money. And still you believe him and give him.”
Elena got into debt, mortgaged her apartment and, if not for her children, would have ended up on the street. Over three years, she voluntarily gave Dmitry about five million rubles. And she would have continued to give money to this day if this story had not been put to an end by her sons, who forbade her to meet with this man.
Sergei Okhotin, Elena’s son: “This is a very calculating, cynical, just a real swindler.”
Elena Zalevskaya from Kaliningrad did not have to wait 3 years to lose her apartment. Now she comes to the house to look at the windows of her room, where other people have been living for a long time. She was convinced to sell her apartment at a profit by a man she met on the Internet. The acquaintance quickly grew into a whirlwind romance. Unlimitedly relying on her chosen one, Elena signed a power of attorney so that he could take upon himself all the worries of selling the property. Now, even without the help of a lawyer, she understands what a monstrous mistake she made. The betrothed sold the apartment and disappeared.
Elena Zalevskaya: “10 rubles in my pocket, rented housing for a month in advance and no prospects. Do you understand? And plus there’s shock. It feels like you’ve been deceived, used and thrown away. It wasn’t very pleasant.”
No more dubious online dating - this is what Kirov resident Natalya decided for herself. Valentin from Syktyvkar helped her come to this conclusion. The man studied in absentia at one of the Kirov universities. And during the session, I was looking for girls on the Internet to live in my new girlfriend’s apartment, and not in a student dormitory. When Natalya exposed this trick, she drove the gigolo away without regret.
Natalya: “Every single day he pulled money out of me. He needs it for this, for that. But then, to be honest, I got tired of it.”
During their short relationship, Valentin managed to make duplicate keys to Natalya’s apartment. And one day, when she was not at home, he came to visit again.
Valentin Shishigin, suspected of theft: “I couldn’t find several of my tests. Well, I don’t know. And I thought that these tests remained in Natalya’s apartment. Accordingly, I came for these tests.”
Along with the test papers, Valentin took away household appliances, gold jewelry, and everything that was of any value. But he was quickly detained by the police. Now the student is suspected of committing a number of similar thefts.
Yaroslavl resident Masha Novikova also once became a victim of a marriage swindler and believes that she got off lightly. The gentleman borrowed 12 thousand and disappeared. Every time, remembering the details of this novel, she tries to understand what her mistake was. And is it really impossible to trust anyone?
Maria Novikova: “During the time we spent together, we never fought. And there was no reason not to trust this person.”
Trust but check. This hackneyed truth Marina Avtareeva, hostess marriage agency, made it her slogan. Having once encountered deception herself, she now helps girls find their other half, checking all the ins and outs of candidates for their hand and heart.
Marina Avtareeva, owner of a marriage agency: “I go to our clients’ homes, work like a social worker. I see what they do, their hobbies, I talk to friends, I call people at work, I talk to colleagues.”
No special knowledge to bring to clean water There is no need for a swindler, Marina is sure. The main thing is to honestly answer the question to yourself at the very beginning of the relationship: what does your charming chosen one really want?
Presenter: So how can you understand what attracts your partner to you: beauty and charm, or your apartment and bank account? And what to do if you have already become a victim of marriage scammers. Lawyer Victoria Krasnyuk will tell us about this. How can you figure out that this is a swindler?
Guest: You know, this question is more likely for the police, but I think that there are simple tricks that should alert any woman. The person begins to put the burden of his worries on you, complaining that mom is sick, for example, that dad needs surgery, the children are in prison, relatively speaking, so you should immediately go and mortgage your apartment. This is already an alarming symptom.
Presenter: And if it’s a woman or a man, men also fall for the bait marriage swindlers, if these people have already registered such a person in their apartment and suddenly realized that all this was not out of love, but out of self-interest. What to do? Is it possible to write it out somehow?
Guest: Yes, the Housing Code allows this to be done, and with an apartment that is owned, it is somewhat simpler, because a member of the owner’s family who has ceased to be such loses the right to use. With a municipal apartment it is somewhat more complicated, although the law allows you to write out former family members of the tenant. However, the situation is that if a former member of the tenant's family continues to live in this apartment, he does not lose the right to use this premises.
Presenter: But how can you prove in court that you were deceived, that this is actually a swindler?
Guest: You know, we have such a concept fictitious marriage, marriage without a goal, without intentions to start a family. But it is quite difficult to prove, that is, whether there was a marriage relationship, whether the household was run together. These are, of course, witnesses. And in this case, the marriage is not dissolved, but declared invalid. And this entails completely different legal consequences.
Presenter: If such a marriage swindler forced a woman to take out a loan on himself or got into some debts and also imposed debts on her, what should we do? Is it possible to understand this situation?
Guest: Look, if our mentioned swindler is still married to this woman and is registered, then according to our family code it is considered that total debts spouses are divided in half between them. On the other hand, if our swindler did not marry the woman, and she took out the debts on herself, then, in general, she has virtually little chance of proving that these are his obligations.
Presenter: If, during a divorce, a marriage swindler begins to demand half of the property allegedly acquired jointly. Is there any way to defend your rights here?
Guest: Look what situations happen. I had a client - a young woman. Her grandmother misinterpreted the tax laws and decided not to bequeath or donate her apartment to her granddaughter; she fictitiously sold it, without taking, of course, a penny of money. And when the granddaughter began to divorce her husband, this husband filed a lawsuit for the division of jointly acquired property. And, unfortunately, after the first decision in her favor was overturned, the court still recognized his right of ownership as jointly acquired property.
Presenter: Is it only what is bought and not given that is shared?
Guest: What is shared is what was bought, what was given to you, what you inherited - it’s only yours.
Presenter: Well, what advice would you give to those women who are ready to help their lovers, but where does one not cross the line and where does the fraud begin, but where is this kind heart?
Guest: It’s just that all women of any age need to act within the framework of common sense. You don’t need to rush to take out loans for men you don’t know well, you don’t need to register your real estate on them, and just at least have basic passport information, perhaps get to know your relatives and their circle.
Presenter: And, of course, have at least some kind of photograph.
Guest: Well, of course, so that you have something to bring to the police.
“At first the amount was small, then he asked me to take out a loan.”
Sometimes in the pursuit of happiness we lose our heads. Countless websites, public pages, and forums are teeming with stories of women and men caught in a cloud of marriage deception. Many people post photographs, names, and passport details, but still there are no fewer “scammer lovers.”
MK tried to figure out how to expose a marriage swindler in time and what will happen to him for the crimes he committed.
How you want to believe that the handsome man who emerged from the depths of the Internet at your call is exactly who he seems to be: rich, lonely, and, in addition, a citizen of a civilized European country... And how you don’t want to think about the fact that he may well turn out to be your neighbor with beer belly and chronic emptiness in your pocket! Dreaming about a foreign fairy tale is much more pleasant...
First, let's figure out what kind of marriage scammers there are.
Here, for example, are the so-called scammers - these people scam potential brides out of money before the meeting takes place “in real life”. True, the amounts they manage to extract are usually not too large.
Scammers can be divided into “benefactors” and “courageous sufferers.”
The operating principle of the “benefactors” is to bombard your pseudo-beloved with declarations of love, convince her that she will soon be happy and strong family. Being under the hypnosis of her “future husband”, a woman, as a rule, does not realize that money is being extracted from her by the most in simple ways. For example, a new friend wanted to give you an expensive gift. I sent it by courier, but for some reason I couldn’t pay the shipping or duty. But he assured that he had put a couple of hundred euros in the gift box, which fully covered the costs. In a fit of interest, a curious girl shells out a tidy sum to receive a gift, and then... all hell and butter! No money, no gift... This is what happened to Muscovite Irina:
We met on a dating site. He was from Russia, but lived in Australia for a long time. He almost confessed his love and admired me constantly. A few days later he decided to send me a gift, asked for my address, said that I would soon receive something interesting... And then I received a notification on my personal website that upon receipt I would have to pay 150 euros for courier delivery. The letter contained some kind of code and number to which I should send money. I paid for the services, as I thought, the delivery services - everything looked quite official, so the thought that it was just someone’s electronic wallet did not arise. Needless to say, the gift never reached me, and along with it, its loving sender disappeared beyond the horizon of the Internet...
Men in the category of “courageous sufferers” always have some kind of heartbreaking story - like how he lost his wife and was left alone with three children in his arms. After a long correspondence, during which the “bride” is imbued with the full depth of the nobility of the “groom,” he reports that an unforeseen collapse has occurred, and money is urgently needed - for a child or something else.
Evgenia almost fell for the bait of her foreign suitor:
I met an American on the site - he seemed like a decent man, with a pleasant smile and a sad story. Having lost his wife, he was left with two small daughters, cared for by their grandmother. He himself was the sole breadwinner of the family, served in the navy and was constantly at sea. He wrote that he thinks a lot about me, dreams of meeting, believes in our love. And once he wrote that he found himself off the coast of some African country, that he had a large amount of money with him, that he was afraid of pirates and asked me to keep this money in Russia until his arrival. That, they say, he will send them to me by diplomatic mail. But then it turned out: upon receipt, I need to pay cargo insurance in the amount of $2,000. He sent me the invoice, and the company that allegedly sent the package contacted me. I started looking for this company on the Internet and couldn’t find it. Then I discovered many stories about similar cases on the Internet. I refused to receive this money, he begged for several more days, he simply begged. And then he disappeared...
The most common (and most dangerous!) marriage swindlers can be considered the so-called polygamists. They come into close contact with their victims and find a special approach to each. It is precisely this type of scammer that our heroines fell for.
We met on a dating site in 2013. Everything happened quite quickly. At the first meeting, he was already ready to get a star from the sky for me. He said that I was the one he had been looking for all his life,” Tatyana recalls her failed husband Milovan Martinovich. - He is Serb by nationality, but speaks Russian very well, with virtually no accent. Talking about himself, he especially emphasized the scope of his activities. The owner of a construction company in Podolsk, and even swears his love - a dream, not a man! But then he suddenly disappeared... He didn’t answer calls, I couldn’t contact him. I was very worried.
Serbian swindler Milovan.
Looking ahead, I’ll explain that psychologists explain this behavior this way: the victim is already on the hook, let him be nervous for now, he will appreciate it more and then he will definitely not go anywhere. After some time, the would-be groom showed up again and then took up the matter with greater seriousness.
After some time, Milovan appeared on the horizon again. Again he swore his love, said that he regretted that he had acted this way, but all this time he thought only about me and could no longer imagine his life without me. It was then that he announced that we needed to formalize our relationship. Simultaneously with this “happiness,” he gradually began to extract money from me: either the car broke down, or temporary difficulties at the company... In general, at first the amount was small, but from these small investments it turned out to be a tidy sum. But it didn’t end there...
It is customary for any future newlyweds to introduce their other half to their family and friends. The difficulty was that the hero of Tanya's novel is from Serbia. This means that you need to go abroad - and, of course, for the money of a naive woman.
He really wanted to introduce me to his sister. But, since there were problems at the company, he asked me to borrow money, said that everything would soon get better and he would return everything a hundredfold. I agreed: after all, we are not strangers! He introduced me to his sister Angela. I was immediately alarmed by their close connection - it was not like the relationship of a brother and sister. But anything can happen in life, maybe this is really his only close person besides me. He had not communicated with his parents for a long time - he said they had a fight many years ago. But my sister was enough for me. She followed me everywhere with her tail, like best friend, and sang praises in every possible way: finally, my brother found the one and only, he had never been so lucky in amorous affairs before, his ex cheated on him left and right, and here you are, so beautiful, so beautiful...
Angela is Milovan's "sister".
Apparently, the “brother and sister” have been working together for several years. They had a well-coordinated scheme. Angela always took Tatyana’s side and defended her in every possible way. Probably, in this way she tried to inspire confidence. And when Milovan asked to take out a loan to develop his business, Tatyana found herself under double pressure. In the end, she agreed and took out a loan, which she soon regretted... Naturally, there were no receipts, everything was based on Milovan’s word of honor. Well, how can you not trust the man you love, who is ready to do anything for you!? According to him, the income from the business, in which a lot of money was invested, should have exceeded the investment several times. The scheme really seemed very plausible and successful.
But after he received the money, he began to slowly “merge.” He fed me with promises that I wouldn’t pay a penny to the bank, but he would return everything, and with impressive interest, too,” Tatyana admits.
Milovan began to disappear for several days - then reappeared as if nothing had happened. But Tanya continued to believe in a happy future until the “groom” finally disappeared. That's when everything fell into place. Tatyana had only one thing left to do: look for him on forums and websites. To my great surprise, it was not difficult to find painfully familiar faces. She discovered photographs of Milovan and his sister Angela under the tearful stories of deceived women like her. I decided to write my story and publish it in a popular group in social network. And then Milovan’s second “wife” appeared...
At one point Margarita wrote to me and told me her story with “our common man", Tanya recalls.
I also met Rita Milovan on a dating site. Margarita had a teenage son from her first marriage, through whom the swindler began to act.
My son really fell in love with this man,” says Rita, “and Milovan seemed to treat him like family. After we decided to get married, I became pregnant - he really wanted it. But we couldn’t get married, since he had a fictitious marriage in Switzerland. I took a long time with the divorce. At the same time, we rented an apartment, lived and vacationed exclusively on my finances...
Margarita admits that she did not know how her fiancé sought his favor with the child. It turned out that he bought him cigarettes, pawned expensive things at the pawnshop, and they went to have fun with the words: “Don’t tell mom!”
When I became pregnant, his “sister” looked after me as best she could. But from a financial point of view, there was no help from both. And when I already gave birth, they insisted that I quickly get a foreign passport for the child. Angela was especially pressing. Every day I wondered if he was ready... Main mistake, which I made was an investment in “our future home” in Serbia. We were really planning to move there, we even looked at a high school. But then they explained to me that there was a flood, and all the building materials that Milovan allegedly bought with my money were washed away. Such is the problem. Then he needed a car to go on a business trip. I asked for mine because his was broken. I wrote a power of attorney for him - in the end he disappeared along with the car. With a small child in my arms, I couldn’t reach him by phone for several days. I contacted the police - and then it turned out that my car was already registered with another owner! Then I started looking for him on the Internet - I simply entered his name into a search engine. On social networks I found a story told by Tanya... When he finally showed up, he ended up in the police. There he admitted that he did not have any business and that Angela was his wife... I believe that they needed a child, and I was assigned the role of an incubator.
The women actively began searching for victims - and, as it turned out, there were many of them. The scheme was the same everywhere: Milovan, it seems, didn’t even really try to diversify the script.
In fairness, this couple should have ended up behind bars - but no. Milovan was released from the police station. Actually, why should they be imprisoned? Because you yourself gave him your money?..
There is no such definition in the legislation of the Russian Federation: “marriage swindlers.” Why - she explained to us lawyer Margarita Mayer:
There is no law protecting against marriage scammers, but there are rules that relate to fraud, Article 159 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to classify the criminality of an act: sometimes the victims themselves are embarrassed to admit that someone behaved dishonestly with them, that they fell for the speech of a fraudster. Most often, victims consciously transfer their property, go to a notary and draw up a deed of gift, or they can simply transfer something - for example, lend a sum of money without a receipt, without then having any evidence.
Women do not turn to psychologists for help for the same reason - they are embarrassed. Psychologist Ksenia Sborshchikova assures:
They are contacted extremely rarely. And they don’t always share it with friends, because it’s embarrassing to admit that they found themselves in the midst of a scam. But if we turned to specialists for help, we could solve many problems in the future. Since swindlers feel the “trail of victimhood” very well - they choose those who can be deceived, who will allow them to do this...
But the most surprising thing is that even after exposure, many victims continue to hope for a bright future with “their beloved.” To a greater extent, they regret not that they were “heated up” for money, but that now it is gone!
“You see, it feels as if you’ve been waiting all your life for that one and only house to be built in which you will live happily. Now it is ready, and you are already living in it... And suddenly it turns out that this house is not there, that it was all smoke, a myth! And you don’t feel sorry for the money you invested, because you were happy in it every minute...” admitted one of the scammer’s victims.
The reason for this behavior is explained by psychologist Ksenia Sborshchikova:
There are cases when it is difficult for victims to condemn the person who treated them badly. They would rather look for the reason in themselves than in someone else. They are consumed by questions: what did I do wrong? Why did he do this to me? Maybe I offended him?..
Such women, even after exposure, want to stay with the swindler, assure him that they have forgiven him, that they will not demand their money back, some even promise to continue to support him financially... They find for themselves any excuse for the behavior of the gigolo - just to hear such alluring and sweet words again love.
How to protect yourself from mercantile “suitors”?
It is very difficult to recognize a marriage swindler, says the psychologist. - I would even say, almost unrealistic. The main task of a swindler is to choose the right victim. They immediately see who will fall for their bait and who will not. Women who are insecure, obviously weak and easily vulnerable are suitable for them. For such women, it is already a gift that they have a man, they need recognition and love so much...
“I once mentioned that I love cornflowers,” says 34-year-old Evgenia Kavun. - A few hours later there was a small bouquet lying in front of me. The blue blown glass flowers looked lifelike.
“There are no real wildflowers in December,” Sergei apologized. “I then thought that my dreams about the ideal man came true,” Zhenya recalls. “And you know... Despite the fact that after a few weeks this “prince” disappeared with all my savings, sometimes I catch myself thinking: I would give a fortune to return those days of cloudless happiness...”
Love or wallet
At first it seemed to me that some kind of tragedy had happened. Was he hit by a car? Is he unconscious? I visited all the hospitals in Rostov and called morgues. And only then, when the next loan payment arrived at the end of the month, I remembered that I had given all the money to my new lover. For a few days. Buy expensive medicines for a dying mother... - recalls another victim of the marriage swindler, Rostov resident Ekaterina Ivanchenko. - He didn’t want to take the money for a long time. I literally handed him all my savings. And the next day he disappeared. Only his remained Toothbrush in the bathroom, slippers and a phone charger.
32-year-old Katya admits: sometimes it seems to her, a woman with a higher education who is raising a child without a husband, that she was under hypnosis. Under the hypnosis of a smiling brunette who accidentally knocked on her page on a social network. “I understand that my confession will be drowned in a hundred other compliments that rain down on such a beautiful girl like you every day. But I can’t hold back my words looking at your photo. If there were a poet, the muse would come in your guise...” he wrote.
You see, I'm carrying too much on myself. Raising a son, a car loan, working in a serious company... I have no time to deal with my personal life. Every day is limited to the same route; only my colleagues give me flowers on March 8th and my birthday. And when I saw this comment under my photo, I cried. It's not a lack of attention. I look good for my age, I’m independent, but I forgot the last time I felt like just a woman and not a workhorse.
After a short correspondence on the Internet, they met in Gorky Park. Andrey said that he lives on Pushkinskaya and works as a pediatrician. After a couple of dates, Katya invited him to her place. He came with a cake, flowers and... a car for her four-year-old son.
From then on, my every morning began with a sweet SMS; in the evenings, when Andrei supposedly went on duty at the hospital, he read poetry to me over the phone. After some time, I invited him to sometimes stay with me, to take a break from his worries, because he had a sick mother at home. Then he admitted that all his life he had dreamed of meeting such a woman. kind woman like me and hopes for long relationship. I even gave it as a gift wedding ring! How could I fall in love, like a girl, with the first person I met? - Ivanchenko is perplexed.
Invisible Man
When her lover disappeared with a large sum that the single mother had been collecting for almost a year, Katya felt so devastated that she even wanted to move to another city.
I was ashamed to show myself in front of my mother; I literally went crazy in the empty apartment, looking at his abandoned slippers. The most ridiculous thing is that I didn’t know if the swindler’s name was really the same as he introduced himself, because I had never seen his passport. What hospital does he work at and does he work at all? I didn’t even have anything to go to the police with... No receipt, no information about the hero-lover... The only thing I had left was a couple of photographs of the scammer, whom I secretly took pictures of on my phone, admiring how he slept.. And then I decided to post my cry from the heart on various forums on the Internet in order to protect others, as naive as me.
After this female “revenge,” Katya received several letters from women who at one time had encountered him, her “lover.” To all of them he presented himself as different names, ingratiated himself, came up with touching stories. For one deceived girl, there was even a legend about a hero-racing driver who, in order not to hit a child on the highway, swerved off the road and crashed into someone else’s car. Naturally, money was urgently needed to solve this difficult situation...
And everyone, every single one, gave him their last savings after a couple of weeks of acquaintance, and no one even thought to check the documents,” Ivanchenko shrugs.
Deceived women launched a hunt for the swindler not only on the Internet. They also watch for him on the streets of Rostov, where the scammer once made dates for them.
The beast runs towards the catcher
As AiF on Don was informed by the press service of the Central Internal Affairs Directorate for the Rostov Region, such seducers, unfortunately, are difficult to catch red-handed.
A recent successful example is the case in the Kirovsky district of Rostov, when criminal investigation officers managed to detain two fraudsters. They looked for their victims on Internet dating sites. Everyone chose a “bride” to their liking, showered her with compliments, gained her trust and found out where the girl worked, with whom she lived and communicated, and then asked to visit. The “groom” appeared in full dress, in expensive suit, with a bouquet of flowers, calmly examined the apartment. Then, under the pretext of going to the store to buy a bottle of wine, he went after his accomplice. Together they tied up the owner of the apartment, turned everything upside down in search of money and jewelry, and took away household appliances. The swindlers raped some of the ladies they liked... Many victims tried to “forget” about the incident, which allowed the robbers to surf dating sites again and again in search of easy prey. They were detained after one of the girls did not lose her head and immediately contacted the police. The swindlers turned out to be two previously convicted men. One was 35 years old, 16 of which he spent behind bars, and the other was in his early thirties. Criminal cases were opened against both of them under Article 162 of the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation “Robbery”.
In the Voroshilovsky district, the victim of a swindler was a girl who herself had lived for a long time in the support of a wealthy but middle-aged man. She found a new acquaintance via the Internet and more than once invited him on dates to an apartment rented to her by an elderly sponsor. During one of these meetings, when the girl had a large sum of money and jewelry with her, the “hero-lover” beat his new friend, tied her up and robbed her. During the crime, the girl’s patron decided to look into the love nest. If not for this chance visit, the swindler might not have been caught.
When trusting, verify!
According to psychologist Veronica Kondratenko, many who hear such stories, the first question that arises is: is it possible? adult woman, being of sound mind, fall for banal flattery or heart-warming stories? Probably, whoever is looking for adventure will find it.
Marriage swindlers have the keys to the hearts of even the most distrustful women, warns the psychologist. - Before they start hunting and press for pity, they probe the weak points of lonely ladies. Do your eyes light up when you see a bouquet of flowers? You can shower a girl with cute trinkets, imitating attention and romance. Raising a child? Soft toy as a gift for a son or daughter on the first date, it will conquer any mother. The lady is already over thirty, but she has never been married? The conqueror of hearts and wallets will not be too lazy to run for a cheap ring... But not only loneliness is the reason for blind gullibility. Many women have had unsuccessful relationships behind them; they did not receive care and attention in marriage. As soon as someone appears on the horizon who will say a few kind words, buy a bouquet of flowers and have a candlelit dinner, they are ready to pay many people for these minutes of happiness. And it's not even about losing money. The most painful thing is the collapse of illusions and disappointment. From the point of view of the marriage swindlers themselves, they do not commit meanness. They know how to care and are well versed in female psychology. They believe that you have to pay for everything in this life, including warmth.
Veronika Nikolaevna advises when meeting people, especially casual ones, to pay attention to the little things that give away any scammer. Frequent changes of telephone numbers, reluctance to introduce friends, visit crowded places together, refusal to be photographed - all this should be alarming, as should stories about a lost or pledged passport.
