The cry of a girl's soul. I read it and laughed for a long time...laughing!!! “I was a morally impeccable woman!” Confession of an HIV-infected patient The cry of the soul of a girl infected with AIDS full version

The girl, whose name has not been released, said she infected married men, lecturers, student friends and celebrities. According to the report, her goal was to infect 2,000 men with the virus. Her revenge on the soap was met with a barrage of criticism from all Internet users.

Her new goal is to infect at least 2,000 men. This is part of her beliefs. “I have nothing to do on this earth except wait for my death.” Surprisingly, the girl even has a whole list of those whom she “awarded” with HIV in 2016.

She also stated that she had no plans to have children and that she would continue to have unprotected sex. From her notes: “September 22, 2014 is a day that I will never forget. We went clubbing downtown, got drunk with some undergrads, and went to a motel to continue.”

She further explained that she woke up and realized that a guy named Jawan had taken advantage of her while she was drunk. “I asked him if he used a condom, he confirmed; although when I took a shower, I noticed traces of sperm.

I wanted to commit suicide. I was afraid of getting pregnant or catching HIV.” When she discovered that she had the virus, the girl quarreled with Javan, although he claimed that he was absolutely healthy. “I was depressed and decided to drink myself to death; I even bought poison.

I was very upset and ashamed in front of my parents. And I decided that someone should answer for everything.” “I accepted my fate and decided to make all the men I meet suffer. I’m an attractive woman and I’ll take advantage of it.” “So I buried a good girl and made it my goal to infect as many men as I could,” the girl explained.

This year is for Volgograd resident Natalia Ivanova(name and surname have been changed, she asked not to publish her photo) was marked by two significant events. Four months ago, she safely gave birth to a healthy son, and soon it will be 15 years since doctors diagnosed her with the terrible diagnosis of AIDS.

The young mother agreed to tell her story under conditions of strict anonymity. Despite all the explanations from experts that HIV infection is not transmitted as easily as the flu, people continue to shy away from people with this diagnosis.

In clear text

"AiF-Lower Volga Region", Larisa Sheremet: Natasha, how did you find out about your illness?

Natalya Ivanova: It was my birthday, I turned 18 years old. Such a “gift”. I got a call from the hospital, I was being treated for some minor illness, I don’t even remember what I was in bed with then. But all patients had their blood taken for AIDS. The test results took a long time to prepare, and when they arrived at the hospital, I was already safely discharged home. They told me over the phone that my tests were not okay. I entered the office, and the doctor told me in plain text without preamble: “You have AIDS.” In shock, I could only ask: “What is this? What should I do?". And in response I heard: “Do nothing. You might live for two years. There was no need to inject drugs.” I tried to prove that I had never injected drugs, I don’t know what drugs and alcohol are. good girl from a good family. But no one believed me: “You will tell your mother these fairy tales.” In those years, people living with HIV became outcasts and were shunned like lepers. One could not count on sympathy, because HIV-infected people were despised, believing that each of them was either a drug addict or an immoral person. Why feel sorry for such people?..

- Do you know, maybe you can guess who infected you?

Shortly before my diagnosis, I was raped, and this is the only way I could have gotten this infection. But I don't want to remember this. This is a psychological trauma, the thought of which every victim of violence wants to erase from their memory forever. I didn’t tell anyone anything then: neither my friends, nor my mother. I think many people do this. They are ashamed, and they are afraid that they will be blamed: “It’s all my own fault.”

- After you were told about the diagnosis, did you withdraw or began to look for ways out of the situation?

I didn't believe it. I visited all the hospitals in Volgograd. I took tests everywhere. The results were positive. I was 18 years old. I have two years to live, as the doctor promised. I decided that I would not suffer and would solve everything at once. I went to the Volga to drown myself. They didn’t let me drown, they saved me. And then I made a decision for myself that I would live no matter what. I went to a specialized AIDS Center, where a female psychotherapist worked. And she, one might say, pulled me out of depression.

- Did your parents support you?

I was hiding more than a year from all of us. One tried to cope with the problem. I separated my dishes, bed linen, and towels so as not to infect anyone. We knew practically nothing about transmission methods back then. Then she confessed to her closest friend, and then she told her mother. How do you think she reacted? 15 years ago, it was massively hammered into the consciousness of the people: HIV/AIDS equals death. They were terribly afraid. Mom didn’t understand where and why this misfortune came from. Yes, I buried myself alive. But two years passed, I felt good, as if there was no illness. And then my mother began to study literature on the disease with me. I soon realized that there were a lot of us, “others,” and we began to unite, get to know each other, and meet. Not to accumulate panic sentiments. On the contrary, in order to learn to live a full life.

Cry from the heart

Every year in May the whole world celebrates a sad date - Day of Remembrance for those killed by AIDS. Volgograd is no exception. I remember the action with balloons, inside of which there were letters with real stories of HIV-infected people.

Yes, that day there were not enough balloons for everyone who wanted to read our revelations. I offered to include our letters in them - it was a cry from the soul addressed to society, that we are not outcasts and do not pose a terrible threat to others. Passers-by, having learned about these messages, almost lined up to receive balloon with a letter. The only person who was afraid to take the ball was an observer from the administration who was watching our action. He was scared: an HIV-infected person was touching the paper...

- Now we know a lot about AIDS. Has public education affected attitudes towards HIV-infected people?

The people's fear of panic has passed. The people themselves with this diagnosis have changed. If earlier we were afraid of publicity and did not even try to defend our rights, now we are no longer silent. During my pregnancy, I sometimes encountered boorish attitudes from doctors. It would seem that a doctor is the person who knows exactly what he should not be afraid of. However, being pregnant and undergoing a routine examination by specialists, I ended up with doctors who were biased towards me. They didn’t hide their disgust, they were afraid to touch me again. Previously, I would have endured it in silence. But now I was already standing up for my rights, because I was thinking about my child, and I wasn’t afraid to stand up for myself. At the same time, I met a lot of decent people in white coats who treated me well. I didn’t expect it myself, but in the maternity hospital they supported me, encouraged me, and communicated with me very sincerely. But when my child and I were discharged home, the local therapist was supposed to come the day after discharge, but she showed up only two weeks later. And then only after I went to the children's clinic with a scandal. When the doctor came, the child was like a leper to her, she was afraid to touch him, what kind of examination was there. They changed my doctor, and everything is fine now.

Don't panic

- And your HIV-infected people Are your friends coping with the situation?

Those people I know no longer have the panic fears they had before. Many, like me, have studied, received a profession, work, get married, get married, give birth to healthy children. There are, of course, those who withdraw themselves and drive themselves into a corner. There's nothing to be done about it. We try to invite them to our meetings, but they usually prefer to suffer alone.

- Does your illness require special living conditions?

I am the same person as everyone else, I don’t need any special conditions. I lead a sober lifestyle (but I have never used alcohol or drugs before). I don’t take handfuls of medications, I don’t need them. Only during pregnancy did she undergo chemoprophylaxis so as not to infect her child. And after I gave birth, I stopped taking all this. So, thank God, everything is fine with my health. My child is growing up. When he was one and a half months old, the test results came back. The child is healthy. In a year and two months he will be deregistered. The only restriction is that the baby cannot be vaccinated with a live vaccine.

Despite preventive conversations and suggestions from specialists, society’s attitude towards HIV-infected people remains complex.

Those patients who use drugs and alcohol really pose a threat to society. And if a person takes care of himself, he doesn’t have bad habits, engages in protected sex - he is not dangerous to society. He is a full citizen like everyone else. I have my own world, which I don’t divide into pros and cons, I don’t divide people into sick and healthy. I don’t care what is written in the medical history: Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, tuberculosis or hepatitis. I won’t shy away from them like they are the plague. 15 years ago I was afraid that I would inadvertently infect someone through a plate with a cup. Now I know that this is complete nonsense. I kiss my child and know that he is healthy. I have this diagnosis, but I am sure that if I follow the usual preventive measures, I am not a danger to my baby, as well as to everyone around me.

I met Anastasia Naumova at a regular playground in Almaty. A little blond girl, Varyusha, frolicked next to her. If I didn’t know anything about this family, I would never have thought that this gently smiling girl was infected with HIV. Varvara is an adopted child. The Naumov family dreamed of their children for more than 15 years, but it didn’t work out. In 2014, the couple decided to adopt. Now they have three-year-old Vanechka and five-year-old Varya.

Vanya and Varya

We walked towards this for a long time, as if we were waiting for our children. It so happened that after surgery related to oncology, I cannot have children. In August 2014, on the website “Adopt.kz” we saw a girl (not our Varya, completely different). In a few days we managed to collect all the necessary documents, but when we came to the orphanage to meet her, we were told that she had already been taken into the family. We were very upset then, of course. But there they showed us other kids, among them was Vanechka - so tiny, his head easily fit in my palm. So cute... They immediately started to scare us and say that all the children have HIV, all are receiving treatment. But, to be honest, my husband and I were ready for all the tests back then. We were given a week to think about it. Then the hair on our heads began to move. We knew absolutely nothing about this diagnosis, it became somehow scary. We began to study this issue in detail.

At the same time, we dropped off our documents at orphanages in the Almaty region. We arrived and brought Varyusha out to us. I immediately looked at my husband’s reaction: he looked at her and almost cried. They even had some similarities. At that moment we were told that Varya had HIV. This diagnosis was made again. We thought that this was some kind of sign from above. We didn’t know what to do; we were definitely not ready for two children. We went home. We drove for a long time, almost didn’t talk to each other. When we arrived home, we asked almost simultaneously: “Can we handle two?” That is, there were no more questions about the diagnosis. We realized that we can handle it and it’s not as scary as they say. We decided to take two children.

In the end, it turned out that Vanechka was simply registered because he was born from an HIV-infected mother. Vanya turned out to be healthy, but Varyusha... She was already taking therapy at that time. Her parents were HIV-positive, and her mother knew about her diagnosis. Doctors warned her not to breastfeed her newborn daughter, but she did not listen.


During the first weeks, Varya was afraid of her husband and called us the same - apay. It took a long time for us to get used to each other. There were no such problems with Vanya - when he came into our family, he was only five months old. For Varya, he is a brother. Now everything has worked out, and we have lived such a happy life. We never had any doubt that we did everything right.

Living with HIV

People are divided into those who know nothing at all about HIV, and those who think that HIV is drugs. So much has been filmed, written and shown about AIDS and HIV that the basic things seem to be known to everyone. How it spreads, how it doesn’t spread, what to be afraid of and what not to be afraid of. But most of this information seems to be falling through the cracks. But the fear remains. It was simply drilled into our heads that HIV-infected people are dangerous to society; you can literally get infected from touching them... These are terrible stereotypes. Some doctors also shy away from people with such a diagnosis, although it seems that adults should understand everything. People with HIV can live a long time if they healthy image life and therapy, without posing any danger to others.

You can't quit therapy. If you start and then quit, irreversible infections may begin. Taking therapy is very strict step by step plan. Everything must be clear and on time. It’s better not to be late even by five minutes. When we took Varya home, we immediately put a pill bottle on the table and put the medications in it that she had to take every day on schedule. We take two tests every three months. My daughter takes four to five tablets daily. This can be difficult for a child. For example, one tablet is so large that it is not only difficult for a child to swallow, but also for an adult. But you can’t break it. She's choking on it even now. Most of the drugs are old and not at all designed for small children.

At first we were afraid of this diagnosis. Varyusha gets scratched, and I put on gloves to treat her wound. But this was only the first time due to ignorance. Now I calmly touch her blood because I am not afraid. We hug and kiss. A child taking therapy is safe and does not have enough virus in their blood to become infected. Today no one is safe from HIV. A big problem in our society is intolerance towards those who are different. They don’t want to hire them and their rights are limited.

I don’t limit my daughter in anything. She went to a regular kindergarten and will go to a regular school. Of course, parents from kindergarten I told everything right away, after all, this is my direct responsibility. Now it is important for me to let her understand that taking antiretroviral therapy is necessary for a full life. She is not yet fully aware of her illness. For us, HIV is not a death sentence, it’s just a diagnosis that we can live with.

Diagnosed but not disabled

445 children are officially registered with this diagnosis in Kazakhstan. According to public figure Aliya Sadyrbaeva, only 270 of them have disabilities. Moreover, of these 270 children, 222 are children from the South Kazakhstan region. It is not possible to prove that a child with HIV is disabled. Without this, they cannot count on a monthly allowance of 60 thousand tenge. Children can be given disability only in severe forms of the disease, for example, when they are affected internal organs. By the way, in South Kazakhstan region in 2006, about two hundred children became infected with HIV. This happened as a result of blood transfusion operations. Ten children died. 17 mothers became infected with HIV while breastfeeding their sick children. 16 doctors then received various prison sentences on charges of corruption and negligence.

Varya does not have a disability. Moreover, it was there, but it was removed. Now the girl is in the third stage of the disease (there are four in total, the last one being AIDS). She has health problems, but she looks like an ordinary child. I was told that the child’s health was in satisfactory condition and there was no reason to assign her a disability. Disability is granted only to those patients who already have AIDS or are in serious condition. But no one wants to bring their child to such a state. If you believe the statistics, almost all HIV-infected children in the South Kazakhstan region have the status of “disabled child.” It turns out that they are all in serious condition. But is it?

They tell us, register as a low-income family and you will receive the necessary help. But we are not really a low-income family. We have average income. We can afford to buy ourselves fruit. But she needs a disability. Now antiretroviral drugs are provided by the state free of charge, but I always have a fear that we will be left without drugs. Disability gives access to medical and social rehabilitation, the opportunity to receive sanatorium treatment e.

One of the responses of the Ministry of Health to Anastasia’s request states: “Based on paragraph 38 of the “Rules for Conducting Medical and Social Expertise” (...), the basis for recognizing a person as disabled is the simultaneous presence of the following mandatory conditions:

1) health impairment with persistent impairment of health functions;

2) limitation of life activity (complete or partial loss of a person’s ability or ability to perform self-care, move independently, navigate, communicate, control one’s behavior, study or engage in work activities);

3) the need to implement social assistance measures.

Many women live below the poverty line, and it is difficult to cope. They can't even buy fruit. If not normal nutrition, the stages will increase to AIDS. That is why for the majority of families, disability benefits are vital.

Prepared by Vasilina Atoyants

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The Irkutsk court issued a verdict in the case of deliberate infection with HIV. Local resident Konstantin Bazhenov received 2.5 years in a penal colony. He knew about the diagnosis, was registered with the regional AIDS Center for many years, but did not tell his girlfriend about it and eventually infected her. This story reflects the sad Russian statistics: there are a million HIV-infected people in the country. IN last years This virus spreads from drug users to the general population, and young women are at risk. According to the director of the Federal Center for Prevention and Control of AIDS, Vadim Pokrovsky, every 40th man aged 30 to 35 is infected, and the likelihood that he will be your partner is very high. We met in Irkutsk with the injured girl; she prefers not to give her name.

Two and a half years ago, Elena—that is the name she introduces herself to journalists—was diagnosed with HIV. Her ex-boyfriend, Konstanting Bazhenov, hid his face behind a cap and mask during the trial.

« We met in the summer of 2015 on the Internet.he constantly took the initiative himself, constantly wrote to me,”- says Elena. The young people met in January 2016, had a heart-to-heart talk and decided to move in together. In addition, Bazhenov looked business person— was the director of a cargo transportation company, raising his three-year-old son alone.

“I trusted him precisely because he left me a son. And it seemed to me that the most precious thing that can be entrusted to another personthis is your child,” she says. But there was no happy ending. Two weeks later, Elena was hospitalized with meningitis. Everything turned out to be worse - she was diagnosed with HIV.

It turned out that Bazhenov has been registered with the regional AIDS Center since 1999. " I take real pills, go to real doctors every three months, but the person’s life hasn’t changed. Then, even after the infectious diseases hospital, there were moments when I even fainted from loss of strength. I even thought that I was going to die tomorrow and not wake up,” says Elena.

All the doctors to whom Elena turned were present at the court hearings. Bazhenov’s ex-wife also came in, also with a positive status. She stated at the trial: she deliberately chose to become infected. Their common child does not have HIV.

Tests and examinations confirmed that Bazhenov was the culprit of the infection. As a result, on October 24, the court found him guilty and sentenced him to two and a half years in a penal colony.

“Frankly speaking, I’m not happy. For me, two and a half years in prison is unfair,” Elena adds. She also did not hear any repentance from Bazhenov. He claimed that he had been cured of hepatitis and that he was also not afraid of the HIV virus. He has been without therapy for the last 20 years.

Svyatoslav Khromenkov, Elena’s lawyer: There are few verdicts in this category of cases in Russia. This is almost one of the first. You could say this is a small victory. It is necessary to carry out not only preventive measures, but also to suppress the already existing spread, including by sentencing criminals to fair, tough, strict punishments.

Statistically, such sentences are truly rare. Over the past year, courts found only 57 people guilty, and only 21 of them received actual sentences.