Mistakes that should not be made in correspondence with a man. Internet correspondence with a man

Electronic communication is becoming increasingly popular. However, correspondence does not always bring the desired results. Mistakes that should not be made in correspondence with a man. If you do these...

Electronic communication is becoming increasingly popular. However, correspondence does not always bring the desired results. Mistakes that should not be made in correspondence with a man.

If you make these mistakes, then you may not be surprised why he doesn’t answer you:

1. You turn correspondence into an interview.

The purpose of correspondence is to have a fun conversation so that a man wants to meet you. But this will never happen if you interrogate him. Don't ask him what school he went to, what his job is, where he lives. These are not fun questions. Stop learning his biography, better find out what he does in his free time. The messages should be light and cheerful so that the man feels comfortable with you, and then he himself will write to you, call you and invite you to meet.

2. You write short messages, monosyllabic answers, or ask him too simple questions.

If you want the conversation to continue, you need to engage the person. Short greetings or responses will not help. Take for example the question “How was your week?” What can he answer other than “okay”? This question leads nowhere.

You can also end your answer to him with a new question. Make your correspondence easier for him, because he himself may not know what to write next, although he wants to.

3. You use standard greetings.

Don’t start a conversation with “Hi, how are you?” This is what everyone who lacks imagination writes about. Come up with something different and interesting. You can ask something related to his online profile, what you saw in his photo.

4. Your questions are not inspiring.

If you want interesting correspondence, don't talk about work. You can ask, but don't delay. It’s better to discuss your favorite foods or places in the city, movies and music, books and hobbies.

5. You don't show your sense of humor.

Stop being so serious. If you're witty and resourceful, use that to your advantage in your messages. When you're fun, he'll want to get to know you more.

6. You ask awkward questions that require awkward answers (or no answer at all).

Don't ask about his plans for the weekend. If he has plans with another girl, he will feel awkward or have to lie.

7. You start a conversation with every man the same way.

There is no one message that will suit everyone. Be creative and try to tailor the message to the specific man, clarify it to attract attention. This way you will stand out from others with whom he may correspond or corresponded before.

try to compliment him. You can mention his eyes, biceps or clothes.

comment or ask something about the photo of him doing something. A great way to start a conversation about what he likes to do.

You can arrange a survey, but it will be interesting: for example, “Coke or Pepsi? Mountains or sea? The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?

Tease him. For example, “I bet you say that to all the girls,” or “Stop making me think about you, I'm busy.” At the same time, use a wink emoticon so that he understands exactly that you are joking.
And stop texting when a man makes no effort!

If he answers in monosyllables and never asks questions, take this as a sign. He's letting you know that he's not particularly interested in you or that he's lazy. Anyway, why keep writing to him?

Starting a conversation can be difficult if you're not sure where to start, and awkward silences can feel uncomfortable. Even if you feel like you have nothing to talk about with someone, there are many ways to engage in an engaging conversation. Search common topics, which can be discussed, and be an active listener to maintain an interesting conversation. Once you become more comfortable communicating with other people, you will be able to start conversations in any situation!

Steps

Start a conversation

Introduce yourself , if you have not seen this person before. If you want to talk to a stranger, walk up to them, make eye contact and smile. Say hello and tell him your name to make him feel comfortable around you. Offer a handshake to establish a connection with the person and make them want to talk. Ask him his name as a natural introduction to a lengthy conversation.

For example, you could say: “Hi, my name is Anton. Nice to meet you".
You don't have to introduce yourself if you just want to chat casually, but it will help put you on the other side.

Say something positive to engage the person in conversation. Mentioning something negative at the beginning of a conversation will likely discourage the person from opening up and communicating with you. Start talking about something pleasant from the environment and smile while communicating. This will increase the likelihood that the other person will open up and talk to you. After you mention something nice, ask the person how they feel about it to engage them in conversation.
- For example, if you're at a party, you could say, “The music is really cool! Do you like it?" - or: “Have you tried the food yet? It is very tasty". Ending a sentence with a question encourages the person to respond and start a conversation.
Do compliment to gently start a conversation. For example, mention the person's personality traits or note their outfit. Give your compliment sincerely, otherwise the person may sense the falseness and refrain from talking to you. Then ask a question to keep the conversation going, otherwise the other person may not respond.
- You could say something like, “This dress looks wonderful. Where did you buy it? - or: “You have a good sense of style. Where do you find your outfits?
- If possible, use open questions so that the conversation does not end with “yes” or “no”.
Warning: Don't mention a person's appearance in a conversation, as they may feel awkward and may not respond well.

Mark something from your surroundings to start a conversation if you can't think of another introduction. If nothing comes to mind, look around and make a comment about what you see. It could be about the weather, the location of the event, other people, or the event that is happening. Maintain a positive attitude to appear relatable and make the other person more interested in talking to you.
- For example, you can say: “This is my first time in this cafe. Have you tried anything here?” - or: “I wish the sun would come out today. It wasn’t cloudy last time.”
- Show a sense of humor during the conversation. This will captivate your interlocutor and make communication more enjoyable.
Find topics to talk about
1. Ask the person where they work or study to reference these topics. Reach out to the person you want to chat with and mention their work or school. Ask what his duties are, how long he has worked there, and if anything interesting has happened there lately. If he is still a student, ask what he is studying and what he wants to do after graduation.
  - Be sure to answer all questions if the person in turn asks about your work or your education.
  - Show genuine interest in his work, even if you don't find it particularly exciting. Use this as an opportunity to learn more about the person and the topic.
2. Discuss common interests to get to know the person better. People love to talk about their hobbies, so ask the other person what they like to do outside of work or school, and note any areas that seem interesting to you. Find out what exactly attracts him to this hobby and why he likes it. If he asks about your hobbies, first mention similar things to him to keep the conversation going. If you are attracted to one of his hobbies, ask how you can join him so that you can try it too.
  - For example, you could say something like, “Oh, I've never carved wood. Where is the best place for a beginner to start?
  - Do not interrupt your interlocutor under any circumstances and do not discuss only your interests. Ask questions about what the person likes to create a pleasant mutual dialogue.
3. Discuss movies, TV shows, or books if you want to talk about pop culture. Many people share similar tastes in media, so discuss the latest movies and music you've watched or listened to and gauge the other person's interests. Ask what information resources he has liked lately and why. If you both saw or heard the same thing, discuss it and exchange ideas to keep the conversation going.
  - For example, you can say: “Have you seen the new movie from the universe” star Wars"? What did you think of the ending? - or: “What kind of music do you prefer? Do you have a favorite artist that you could recommend to me?”
  - Even if you don't agree with his opinion, remain positive and say something like, "Oh, I've never looked at it that way, but I understand what you're saying." This way, your interlocutor won't feel like he's being rebuffed and will remain engaged in the conversation.
  - If you have no idea what the person is talking about, ask for clarification so you can understand it better. It's okay to say, "I don't know," if you're not familiar with the information he's mentioning.
4. Talk about your past experiences if you want to open up to the person. If you feel comfortable with the person you're talking to, it's probably okay to ask about their background or what they want to do in the future. Ask him about funny things that have happened to him, what his family is like, or what goals he has. Share your experiences so you can open up and connect with the other person.
  - For example, you could say something like, “Where are you from? Do you like it there? - or: “What did you want to become as a child?”
  - A stranger may find it strange if you ask too many questions about his personal life right when you first meet him. Only ask deeper questions if you both feel comfortable answering them.
  - Never try to outdo or impress someone, as this may make them feel uncomfortable and want to leave the conversation.
5. Ask a person's opinion on current events to get their attention. Check out current events from the news or social networks and mention them in conversation. Last week there were at least one or two significant events that can be mentioned in conversation. Find out what the person thinks about this and how he feels about this issue. Be prepared to also express your opinion, since perhaps your interlocutor will be interested in it.
  - For example, you could say something like: “Have you heard about the new music app, which just came out? I saw a story about it on the news."
  Warning: Be careful when bringing up sensitive topics, such as those related to politics or religion, as they may upset the person or discourage communication.
Stay engaged in the conversation
1. Use the phrase:“This reminds me...” - to go to new topic. If the person mentions an aspect that you can relate to, use the phrase, “That reminds me of...” before moving on to your topic. This way you can easily switch between multiple themes naturally without any awkward interruptions in the conversation. Make sure that the topics are connected in some way so that the transition is smooth and so that it is easier for the other person to follow your train of thought.
  - For example, if he mentions good weather, you could say, “Your words brought back memories of the great weather in the Krasnodar region when I was there. Have you been there?
  Advice: You can use the phrase “that reminds me of...” (and similar ones) after a pause in conversation if you are noticing something from your environment. For example, if you've already had a conversation with someone and a musician comes on stage, you might say, “Oh, this guy is really good. He reminds me of another musician." Then you can move on to talking about music.
2. Say things that come to mind to keep the conversation exciting. If you think about something during a random pause in the conversation, bring it up and ask the other person's opinion about it. Don't interrupt if you mention something while the person is speaking, as this will be rude. Make sure the person is comfortable discussing the topic, otherwise they may be discouraged from continuing the conversation.
  - For example, you could say, “I just remembered a funny story I read on the Internet. Do you want to hear?
  - Perhaps a person will not be receptive to discussing a random topic if you have not communicated with him before.

I didn’t think such happiness existed
Just correspondence about nothing
A blizzard is blowing outside the windows, bad weather
I don't care about this weather...

I feel great in correspondence with you
Still surprisingly easy
You are looking forward to my notes
And I'm waiting for your answer...

So pretty! - these two words
I was surprised, I melted
I don’t remember this kind of treatment anymore
Everyone only writes what they want for me

And these words give me hope -
That I am not a toy and that I can be loved...
And you don't want to take off my clothes...
And you will only be content to be my friend...

The longer I communicate, the greater the desire
Hear, feel and see
How you want to overcome the distance
And again disappear in a conversation with you

I feel tenderness, affection, care
In those thoughts that you want to tell me
And I don’t want to stop all this
But we need to be a little more tolerant...

And let everything be as God pleases
Will he give us a meeting with you or not...
We will communicate with you freely
But what kind of communication will there be...? Secret!

Maybe we'll sit like two friends
That they met only after many centuries
Maybe I'll be like a friend to you
Where are you ready to help...

Maybe I'll be like a sister to you
The one you love and want to hug...
And I’m like your own girl
To whom I am ready to give all my care...

I don’t know... maybe you still want
Give me a kiss, passion and love...
And how you care about me as desired
Perhaps your blood is boiling with desire...

Now I was catching myself thinking
That I don't want to see you as a friend
And no matter what I tell you
But it’s hard for me to see a brother in you...

Reviews

The daily audience of the portal Stikhi.ru is about 200 thousand visitors, who in total view more than two million pages according to the traffic counter, which is located to the right of this text. Each column contains two numbers: the number of views and the number of visitors.

Lately, I very often receive letters with approximately the same content: “I am in despair. Correspondence leads to nothing. Men appear and then disappear for no reason.” I would like to give advice to women from my own, so to speak, bell tower.

SO, 10 TIPS FOR WOMEN CORRESPONDING WITH MEN:

1. You need to respond to emails immediately, the sooner the better. This way you can maintain a man’s stable interest in you. If you think about the answer for 2-3 days, then the man’s interest may switch to another object. This is especially important in the first stages of correspondence, i.e. try to keep the intensity of passions, men like it.

2. Do not provide all information about yourself at once! It’s better in portions with a hint at the end, they say, to be continued. Who will be interested in corresponding with you if you “give away” everything about yourself from the very first letter.

3. Don’t be straightforward, find interesting words and expressions, play up the situation, sometimes even allow for a funny translation of some phrases. My husband, for example, still remembers how I wrote “cool feet” (American slang) instead of “cold feet”. There are many such examples.

4. Never burden a man with your problems. You still have time to do this, but now he might get scared and run away. Men need to be “tamed” gradually, remember the movie “The Taming of the Shrew”?

5. Don't ask for money financial assistance etc. But if they offer it, accept it graciously, whatever!

6. Do not show that it was on this man that “the white light came together like a wedge.” Let me understand slightly (just slightly!) that you chose him from a large number of applicants for correspondence because he has such extraordinary qualities, stunning appearance and powerful intellect. Well, men love it when they are praised!

7. Show interest in his life, and then skillfully use the information received in your letters. Men like it when people show interest in them and their lives. Especially their hobbies - motorcycles, fishing, hunting (and how much more of this “male nonsense”!)

8. Don’t be terribly serious, men are afraid of very serious women with an encyclopedic mentality. When asked whether you like to swim in the pool naked, you can, for example, answer - “No, I like to swim in a coat!” It's better than taking this question seriously.

9. Treat correspondence as a game, flirting. In the West, a light attitude towards life and the ability to be “happy” are valued. Don't forget to indicate in the form that you are happy, no one needs unhappy here. For the same reason, in photographs you should be smiling from ear to ear. I was once looking for a groom for my friend from Lithuania and posted just such a photo on the site. There was just a flurry of letters - everyone fell for the smile. In the end, we chose a college teacher for her from Miami, with whom she lives happily to this day.

10. Send more interesting photos, the more the better. A man will never have too many photos of you. They prefer to look at photographs than read letters. This is how God created them!

Dear women! Tested by my own experience! I wrote letters for more than one friend. Moreover, while I was writing, the men were dying of love and were burning with the desire to come to the meeting, as soon as I handed over the “ready ones” to my friends, they disappeared. What did they write to them? After all, men are essentially simple. We are much simpler than we women.
Good luck and happiness to everyone!

In the photo: Me with my husband’s “son”. Our dogs sleep with us, eat with us, travel with us. In general, this is a separate story. I have never seen such spoiled dogs in my life!

Best wishes, Elena Wyeth (USA)

Next story by Elena Wyatt: MY AMERICAN BABYSEETER

ALL PREVIOUS PUBLICATIONS BY ELENA WYETT in:
10 tips for women who correspond with men
Is the game worth the candle?
My American mother-in-law
Is there culture in America?
Millionaire Joe or Average Joe?
A few words about American schools
Should you believe in the fairy tale of Cinderella?
Reply from Julia from France
In response to Marina Kostomarova’s letter dated February 25
Letter for Svetlana (USA)

PREVIOUS PUBLICATIONS OF THE RUBRIC "MARRIED TO A FOREIGNER" :
Anna Levina (New York, USA): Between us, no longer girls. Gathering eighteenth
Irina Karasawa (Japan): Heating in Japanese