Oh, these independent women! More than one man was trampled under the majestic heel! There are so many legends about their cruelty and deceit that Satan himself and the US State Department can envy. Relationships with them are a test that only a very strong and confident man can do. Others are afraid of them. And that's why.
1. Because she's not afraid to have her own opinion.
An independent woman, by and large, has independent thoughts. Among all the freedoms given to her, she has the most important - the freedom to think. Independence is possible only for women with a sharp mind, strong character and a certain amount of cunning.
She is stubborn, like a Mongolian tank, and will not rack her brains to find an alternative path. Especially if this path contradicts her worldview. She may be more stubborn than you. And more decisively. So don't piss her off.
She has the genes of a revolutionary, and she doesn’t care how you feel about her decisions.
2. Because she doesn't ask permission.
An independent lady doesn't need your approval. She has her own set of rules, which she herself wrote in her own ink.
She is one of those who, during her student days, without hesitation went into the dean’s office to argue and ask, while everyone else huddled in embarrassment in the corridor. She is one of those who tells annoying relatives that, to put it mildly, they have bothered their family with their annual unexpected visit.
Why are we so afraid of girls who adhere to their own set rules? Because they are not afraid of getting into trouble. More likely, she will have to get you out of trouble, and not vice versa. And it will also be unpleasant for you when every Friday she goes out “with her friends” just because she wants to, without at all asking what you think about it.
3. Because she's not afraid to bask in her own glory.
An independent woman does not hide behind a mask of “false modesty.” She is not going to fold her arms and pretend that she is not very proud of her leadership and success. This is not the pale sheep who lives for her husband. Career and success come first, and family comes second.
An independent woman is fierce and honest with herself. And if she is not proud of herself, there is something wrong.
4. Because you can't intimidate her
An independent woman cannot be intimidated by imaginary hierarchies. She knows that in any situation she can take care of herself, and all these threats of yours, all these pounding on the table with your fist and shouting a la “I told you!” have absolutely zero effect. She will not be intimidated by cheap tactics of intimidating the weak.
She sees everything as it is and understands which of you is weaker and who is really strong. Real power, even in the family, is based on respect, and not on beatings, fear and unpleasant scandals.
5. Because she doesn't really need you.
She doesn't depend on you and she doesn't need you. She doesn't need your money (she earns it herself, and she likes it), your approval and your instructions. She knows what she wants in life and takes what she needs.
On the other hand, if such a woman loves you, then this is perhaps the most honest relationship. She fell in love with you, and not your house and yacht.
6. Because she earns more
The economy greatly influences relationships. Sometimes it happens that a man is laid off at work, and the lady remains the only breadwinner in the family. And then something terrible happens. The man begins to be tormented by the thought that it is not he who provides for the family, which is fraught with depression, alcoholism and total insecurity. A man is not afraid of the fact that a lady is wealthier than him. He is angry that he earns less. And with nothing to do, he will sit at home looking for work, it will be difficult for him to come to terms with his role, protest is possible, because you should be cooler... But it turns out that she is cooler.
However, the worst thing is when she brags about her financial well-being. And it seems to you that she is trying to show with all her appearance that she doesn’t need a rag like you. She can achieve everything on her own.
7. Because she's hard to live with
You must truly love her and sincerely believe her. This can be very difficult, given her difficult nature. But in fact it is possible.
It's not made of stone either. Such ladies, oddly enough, have feelings. And even she needs to feel protected and loved. This seems surprising, but it is a fact. Don’t torment her with your mistrust, suspicion, indifference, otherwise she will leave you first.
8. Because her demands are too high
Sometimes such ladies make too high demands on men. Too tall. It is quite difficult to achieve their favor, because the list of requirements for candidates is huge. And if you're a lazy ass, then independent woman definitely not for you.
If by the age of 30 a woman has not had time to start a family and children, it is generally accepted that she has devoted herself to a career or study. Such women often occupy good positions, receive a decent salary and have a good social status in society. They give the impression of strong women, independent of men. Such women are independent and successful in business.
But this independence also has a downside. After 30, a woman finds it increasingly difficult to find a spouse; her body, which has often been exposed to stressful situations, is no longer as fresh as in her youth, and the chance of having children decreases every year.
In addition, men are afraid of strong and independent women after 30, since it is almost impossible to re-educate them, their character has already been formed and a man risks becoming henpecked with such an “iron lady” or living in constant confrontation with her. As a result, often successful and independent women with age are left to while away the evenings with their pets, for some reason these are most often cats, and the TV.
At home they are greeted by one or more four-legged pets, and independent and proud women have to face old age with them. But stupid principles or pride do not allow you to admit your desire to change something. It is difficult for such women to submit to a man and accept his opinion as authoritative.
Old age is often unenviable for such women - a TV and a dozen cats. Of course, often in old age they have financial savings and housing, but, alas, there is no one to leave it all to, except the same cats.
Strong independent man.
Unlike strong and independent women, a strong and independent man has nothing by the age of 30. He doesn’t have a normal job because working for his “uncle” is beneath him. He often has no education, because “to spend best years in his youth he considers it stupid to study.”
Well, a strong and independent man successfully got out of the army, since they wouldn’t take him into the army with his health.
An independent man most often lives with his mother, because “all women are the same, and only mother is worthy of love.”
If such a man lives alone, then his wardrobe and diet are quite typical - a greasy T-shirt, holey socks, a refrigerator full of beer and dumplings, and of course his favorite sagging sofa in front of the computer monitor.
A strong and independent man believes that no woman is worthy of possessing such a “treasure” as he does. His interests are limited to online games, primitive low-paid work and alcohol.
In general, such a man treats women arrogantly and condescendingly. This is necessary to hide panic fear before serious relationship and the opposite sex. Women need to be looked after, cared for and loved, but a strong and independent man himself wants to be looked after, adored and “spoon fed”.
A strong and independent man is not spoiled by home-cooked food and clean clothes, so he considers these to be unnecessary extras.
Are you afraid of independent women? When a man sees that his chosen one can calmly take responsibility for herself, manage her life and support herself, then for some reason he quickly retreats. By the way, there are many advantages in a relationship with an independent woman.
● She feels great alone
Some women panic and become helpless when they are left for several days, say, while going on a business trip. Independent women are great at handling things on their own, so you don't have to deal with countless calls and text messages from your partner who needs to ask you something right now or needs your help urgently.
● She knows what it's like to have your own life
An independent woman knows how to organize her own life. She has a good job which makes her financially independent. In addition, she has hobbies and friends with whom she enjoys spending time. When you are already in a relationship, she will not spend every day at home only with you because she has no other options to choose from. Routine? Never! An independent woman will not allow routine to creep into your relationship.
● She also wants you to have your own life
An independent woman does not require you to participate in your relationship around the clock; she does not want you to forget about your friends, your hobbies and established habits. She wants you to develop the way you want to develop. She is also ready to accept all your friends, not only other men, but also women. You won't feel like a caged bird in such a relationship. Your own needs and your friends are also important to your independent partner.
● She is a problem solver.
An independent woman takes your advice into account and can count on your support in a difficult situation, but she is usually able to solve everything herself. She is strong enough to withstand even the most difficult problems. She doesn't want to burden you or put additional weight on your shoulders.
● She will be your equal partner
An independent woman knows what equality means in a relationship. She doesn't want to be higher or lower, worse or better. You can expect a fair distribution of responsibilities and harmony without unnecessary misunderstandings. This can prevent many conflicts and make your relationship more successful.
● She will not drag you to the registry office
And many men are afraid of this. They think that after a few months of dating, the partner will insist on marriage and children, even though the man may not be ready for such a serious step. If you are afraid of such " quick action", then an independent woman is your right choice. You will not feel pressure and will not hear constant complaints that she urgently wants a family and children.
● She has an excellent sense of humor
A sense of humor and the ability to tell funny and decent jokes are what define an independent woman. You don't have to be afraid that she will take jokes too seriously and be offended by your friends' dark humor, making you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. Self-confidence and enthusiasm are the qualities that make her enjoy life.
● She doesn't hide her feelings
If you are dating an independent woman, you do not need to be afraid that you will not understand her notorious feminine logic. You don't need to transcribe her because she is always frank and honest. She has nothing to hide and doesn't feel the need to mislead you. If you hurt her, she will tell you so. If she doesn't like something about you, you will know about it immediately. Such communication can initially prevent many contradictions and disagreements.
● She knows how to behave around your parents and friends
You don't need to stay close to her all the time when you meet your friends or relatives. She knows what to say and how to respond tactfully. Even if your parents are absolute conservatives and skeptics, she will not be annoyed by this. An independent woman simply knows how to handle and communicate with a variety of people.
There are women we admire. They are always successful, achieve their goals, are smart, beautiful and interesting. People around them love them, and men admire such ladies and dream of seeing them as spouses. Strong and independent - these words have long ceased to be synonymous with a lonely mature woman who lives with a dozen cats, because she was never able to build a relationship with a man. After all, a strong independent woman may well be happy in love, as well as alone. What qualities does this superwoman have?
She has her own opinion and knows how to defend it
Stereotypical reasoning that only a man should make decisions, and representatives of the fairer sex should not have their own opinions, and in general ideal woman timid and obedient have long been out of date. A lady who has her own opinion and is able to defend it no longer causes bewilderment, but rather respect. They listen to her, they communicate with her, it is pleasant and interesting to be in her company. And it is precisely such women who are able to achieve a lot and achieve professional success.
She has her own style, but fashion trends are not alien to her
Individual style is an important trait that every woman should have. This is what makes her unique and truly attractive. Despite this, such a woman is aware of everyone fashion trends, and skillfully uses them in his image. However, she will not hang herself with trendy things, choosing only those that she likes and suits herself and fits into her style.
She loves herself
Self-love is a very important nuance that determines how others will treat you. If you don’t love yourself, and you’re not interested in being alone with yourself, why do you hope that others will love you?
Admire yourself - you are unique and beautiful. And don't forget to pamper yourself. You deserve only the best - the best outfits, better man, a better life.
She doesn't depend on other people's opinions
It cannot be said that a strong and independent woman is completely indifferent to other people’s opinions. On the contrary, she strives to make the right impression on everyone. But she understands perfectly well that it is impossible to please everyone, and therefore she is not upset when it turns out that someone does not like her at all. Someone's outside opinion will never make her change her mind if she is sure that she is right, and will not affect the final result of any event.
She treats the man loyally
A strong and independent woman is not one of those who tells her chosen one what he owes, and does not blackmail him with the words “you’re a man.” She allows her loved one small weaknesses, leaves him the right to independently make decisions regarding his life, and also listens to his opinion. At the same time, she does not always agree and will not act contrary to her desires - she will try to find a compromise.
She achieves her goals
The main feature of a strong and independent woman is that her goals are not an empty phrase, no matter what it concerns. If this woman wants something, she will act and not complain about fate. And actions always lead to results, sooner or later. The main thing is to be purposeful and not give up.
She has a positive outlook on the world
This is the secret of her success - she perceives the world, looking at it positively, highlighting only the best, and does not look for anything to complain about. She even perceives her problems, regardless of their severity, only as an annoying obstacle that needs to be overcome, and not as a misfortune on a universal scale.
Don't wait - act!
Any, even the most insignificant movement forward is more effective than stupid waiting. They don't call after the interview? Call yourself and find out when a decision will be made. Boyfriend can't decide on plans for the weekend? Plan your leisure time independently of it. Can't get a promotion for a long time? Consider other companies or related vacancies. It is better to try many options and not get what you want than to do nothing at all. No one will do more for you than yourself.
Don't think about how they evaluate you. Evaluate it yourself
There is little pleasure in sitting on a date in a cafe and wondering, “How do I like him?” You've probably noticed that men often don't even consider the possibility that they might not like you. So relax, sit back and evaluate your boyfriend in all respects. At the same time, you will decide whether he is interesting to you or not.
Don't wishful thinking
Imagine how much time you can save if you don't waste it on interpreting signals of male sympathy. What difference does it make how he looked and whether he laid it? thumb for the belt of his trousers, if he still hasn’t called and offered to meet? An axiom tested by generations of women says: a man doesn’t call for two reasons: either he doesn’t want to, or he’s dead. The best attitude is calm optimism and the absence of mood swings due to someone's calls or lack thereof.
Know how to cheer yourself up
How to become successful and independent? Don’t let yourself get discouraged because your boss scolded you for being late, an elderly lady was rude in public transport, or your friend criticized your new haircut. Other people should not negatively influence your emotional state and undermine your self-esteem. To stay in good shape, keep in mind a solid list of things that you enjoy: a warm bath with a book, a cup of coffee with syrup, going to the pool or going for a pedicure. Compensate for failure with pleasure.
Don't get over yourself
Self-love is the first step in any relationship in your life. Don't expect others to love you more than you love yourself. The most valuable relationship in a person's life is the relationship with himself. What matters is what you think about yourself. You can’t feel emotionally comfortable in the morning if the night before you sat in the office late doing someone else’s work. When you don’t want to do something, politely refuse, and you will feel what “a weight off your shoulders” and “lightness in your soul” means.
Don't compare yourself to others
Comparing your successes with the successes of others often leads to envy. How to become an independent girl? If you are unhappy that Lenka from the marketing department has received a promotion, but you, a procurement specialist, have not yet, think about what does not suit you in your situation. Do you not feel valued, are you working outside of your calling, or do you firmly believe that high status guarantees moral satisfaction? Comparing yourself with Lenka is the same as comparing south with north, and day with night.
Develop your abilities
Harmonious personal and Professional Development can make you happier and have a positive impact on your self-esteem. Regularly do what you are good at and what you really enjoy. Learn to do it really well. And sometimes it’s useful to trust some technique for identifying innate tendencies. You may not develop them, but you will certainly take note of them. What you don't do in your daily work can be turned into a hobby. Developing talent cultivates qualities that can be valuable in both your career and personal life.
Develop missing skills
You probably know the feeling of reluctance to take on a task that requires the use of tools that you do not know well. For example, you don’t like working in Excel and always procrastinate when preparing a report in this program. Ask a colleague to show you a few functions, and you'll finish reporting faster next month.
Here's what Brian Tracy, author of books on self-development and leadership, writes about the missing skills: “You can learn masterful time management just like you can learn anything, and here's a big clue: you may be missing just one time management skill to double your income. You may be missing just one business skill! You probably already know what this skill is...”
Forgive yourself for your weaknesses
Weaknesses are like curls in fingerprints; without them, it would be impossible to identify who the fingers belong to. Weaknesses make us not only imperfect, but also humane, because they teach us to accept the weaknesses of others. Forgive yourself not laziness or bad habits, but some addictions and distinctive features: love of coffee, clutter on the table, slowness or excessive talkativeness. Although such little things take you away from the ideal, they work great for your corporate style.
Be financially independent
Material independence gives you an advantage in everything. Girls who are able to take care of themselves are respected more, and you yourself feel much more confident having a stable income. You can be a real master of your life only if you don’t ask for anything from anyone and don’t expect anything from anyone. Independent girl can afford expenses that some would consider unreasonable: spa treatments, shoes to cheer up, lunch at a restaurant, lots of swimsuits or taxi services. And also, in order to become an independent woman, it is advisable to increase your own emergency reserve, putting aside 5-10% of your salary every month. If the funds stop coming, you will not be lost.
Be free from prejudice
Some people initially accept for themselves the rules of life that the majority live by. In everything you need to listen to the advice of your parents, always give up your seat in transport, work only in your specialty, after two years of relationship you must get married, preferably before the age of 25, and there must be at least two children. Such attitudes are only suitable for you if you accept them for yourself. To curious neighbors eager to know when you will finally get married, it is better to answer politely but firmly: “As soon as I have such a desire, I will immediately inform you about it.”
Text: Marina Lysenko and Anzhelika Zakharina
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