Dear site guests!
The orphanage really needs your help!
Finishes in 2010 high school and goes to adult life Rassadina Arina, our champion in arm wrestling and orienteering. She really dreams about beautiful dress to the prom.
The girls try to sew pillows for themselves using embroidery and pick them up after leaving orphanage, this requires materials (fabric, tapestry, threads and printed material).
The guys had the opportunity to repair and assemble mechanisms. We really need spare parts for assembling go-karts.
The orphanage requires permanent work:
1. Educational psychologist with at least 10 years of experience (family consultations).
2. Teacher additional education(pop song, choreography)
You can help our children!
HOW:
Orphanage — big family, and how in every family there are difficult life situations: getting children ready for school, last call, prom, purchasing everything necessary for everyone school supplies, briefcases, so fashionable today, but so expensive, workbooks for all subjects, sports uniforms, costumes for children’s performances and sports. Our children, just like those at home, or rather much more than those at home, need this, because they do not take care of things and do not know how to be responsible for something. Our children really need a change of environment, a warm, trusting relationship on the part of adults and loved ones, and to give them this warmth in orphanage It’s impossible, no matter how hard we try.
Excess energy should be directed in a positive direction: sports, choreography, work. It is very important to get children interested in these activities, so that it becomes not only a free pastime, but also a profession, a way of life, a core that would protect them from harm.
The state took care of the orphans, they are well fed, provided with summer and winter recreation, we have a lot of theaters, clubs that offer tickets to various events, a lot of gifts for New Year, but 50 boys and girls require constant attention and help, they constantly need medicine, vitamins, gifts for birthdays, they, like all ordinary children, really like gifts bought only for them, taking into account their interests, habits and wishes.
Our new details:
Our details have changed since 01/01/2010
Transfers by non-cash form:
Payment account 406 038 107 0000 3000009
in branch 1 of the Moscow State Technical University of the Bank of Russia, Moscow 705
BIC 044583001
L/account 079 859 2000 930 496
KBK 985.303.03.02002 0000180
Payment receiver:
(FKU South-Western Administrative District of Moscow)
Address of the recipient: 117574, Moscow, st. Vilniusskaya, 7, building 3
Payer: State educational institution Orphanage No. 37 of the Moscow Department of Finance
(FKU South-Western Administrative District of Moscow)
Transfers in cash:
Payment account 40116810300330000114
At OJSC "Bank of Moscow" Branch "Gagarinskoye"
BIC 044525219
Cor/account 30101810500000000219
- 17. 11. 2013
No gifts to orphanages. Yes, I don’t mean at all: “Guys, help urgently, this year we don’t have enough gifts for the unfortunate deprived children in orphanages,” I mean exactly: “Please, stop torturing children from orphanages by failing their gifts."
I understand that the text of this article will be very painful to read for approximately half of those who are going to do this (stay strong, positive at the end). And the other half will nod quietly and sadly with the words: “Yes, I talk about this all the time too, but that doesn’t stop anyone.” I know that the first article will cause frustration or even aggression. Therefore, I immediately want to say: “Yes, I also really love children and people in general,” “Yes, I myself also do something to help others, namely, I devote approximately 95% of my time to this, not counting sleep,” “Yes , I have been to a huge number of orphanages in my time and even lived in one for a week, right in a group with children,” “Yes, I deal with volunteers from more than 20 regions of the country, and everywhere there is exactly the same as in Moscow.” . So, guys, instead of frustration, let's just try to make our help at least a little more effective, that's exactly what we all want, right?
So, why is it still impossible to give gifts to orphanages, and what can be done instead?
Let's take, for example, an ideal situation, that is, a situation in which all children received the same gifts, equally, an ideal situation that excludes the possibility that the gifts did not reach the children. A situation in which a teenager did not sell a gift to buy cigarettes or beer. Or when the gift was not used to make someone jealous or simply demonstrate their superiority (“look what I have, but you don’t have the same”), usually after this the gift ends up either broken or stolen as soon as the owner was distracted from it, and, of course, this is very bad both for the owner and for the one who broke or stole.
So, even in this ideal situation (and you understand that this does not happen?), giving gifts to orphanages, boarding schools, social shelters and other forms of state orphanages (I emphasize: especially state ones) is destructive for the child’s psyche , because according to statistics over time New Year's holidays a child from an orphanage attends about 17 Christmas trees and events and receives about 19 gifts (in the Moscow region - 25). Do you understand that this is just a marathon for survival? Do you want to be the twenty-sixth who came running frantically to love a child you didn’t know just yesterday? What about the eighteenth? The saddest thing is that you are ready...
Do you want to be the twenty-sixth who came frantically to love a child you didn’t know just yesterday? What about the eighteenth?
In the next month and a half, billions of rubles will be spent on toys, teddy bears, sleds, Barbies and even tablets, phones and iPods (yes, many children ask for exactly this, and many adults buy it for them, although they themselves realize that there is something that's not true).
All this is monstrous because it fosters terrible dependency; the child gets used to the fact that everyone is always giving him something, giving him something, doing it, and without any effort or reasons visible to him. Some exalted people constantly come and frantically try to love them all to death in half a day and move on (I know, because I was exactly the same). And then suddenly the child turns 18, and... And nothing, no one visits him, no one showers him with gifts, no one cares about the problems of “an adult healthy guy who has to go to work.” Why should he? You only taught him to ask, you did not teach him to earn. You taught him to accept gifts and entertainment and thought that he should somehow figure out about work himself. As a result, only 10% cope with this state of affairs, and the rest become drunkards, end up in crime and prison, and commit suicide. Think about it! 10%! 90%!
You only taught him to ask, you did not teach him to earn. You taught him to accept gifts and entertainment and thought that he should somehow figure out about work himself
Children in orphanages (and I mean in in this case All state species institutions of this type) live according to the rules of a gloomy, inhuman and merciless system created at the beginning of the 20th century. Their students are not considered part of society, and therefore they do not become one. They are considered poor and unhappy, wretched and deprived, and only truly sincere and professional charitable foundations work on their socialization, try to restore their motivation to live, strive for something and achieve their goals, fill them with faith in their own strengths and satisfy them to families.
“Well, everyone helps as best they can,” they often answer me offended at the mention of professional funds. No, no, I'm not at all against a little help, and I know for sure that EVERY person can help. But we are not talking about help here. I am writing all this precisely to explain: gifts to orphanages on or without holidays, as well as a bunch of entertainment events on holidays, are not help, they are harm.
I will give an example from my own practice, when many years ago I came as part of a group of volunteers to one of the orphanages in the Tver region. We agreed on the visit in advance, prepared competitions and performances, and clarified with the director that there would be no one except us that day. When we arrived, another group of volunteers left right in front of our noses, and the children, stretching, left the assembly hall with gifts. They hoped to go about their business, but the director told them to urgently go back to the hall, because “the sponsors had arrived,” and the children wandered off to watch our next songs and dances, which they absolutely did not need. What benefit did we bring to them by forcing them to sit in the assembly hall for half a day? What benefits can be brought by a master class on weaving baubles and soap making?
The director told them to urgently go back to the hall, because “the sponsors have arrived,” and the children wandered off to watch our next songs and dances, which they absolutely did not need
Well, what should you do then and how can you help if you have such a desire?
I promised something positive at the end, and here it is: you may not only be needed, but really needed! For example, if you really want to arrange festive event, then organize it for children with disabilities. Moreover, try to take them somewhere from home; in our country they are so rarely given such an opportunity. Better yet, consult with specialized funds and organize a joint event for ordinary children and children with disabilities. This will be very useful for both.
If you definitely want to give someone a gift, there are children with cancer, there are children from low-income families, and just those who are undergoing long-term treatment in the hospital, you definitely won’t spoil them. There are also elderly people, people in hospices and hospitals, paralyzed people, prisoners (everyone generally forgets about them) - they will all be glad to see your warmth and attention, they will need your gifts and receive them with gratitude.
Well, if you want to do something specifically for children from orphanages, then my advice to you: donate money or become a volunteer in one of the funds that really changes their lives and saves them.
Even more important news and good texts from us and our colleagues are in the “Takih Dela” telegram channel. Subscribe!
This section contains links to projects and organizations that are not members of the “All Together” Assembly. Some of them are regional, some are corporate, and there are simply volunteer groups. In any case, they were not formally included in our Assembly for one reason or another. However, these are all our friends, colleagues and associates. We are doing a common cause, and this unites us much more than membership in any organization.
Help for orphanages and children's homes
http://miloserd-bud.ru/ - orphans and children with disabilities - assistance in treatment, rehabilitation, respect for rights, family arrangement. City of Astrakhan
www.rcws.org - Society for Aid to Russian Children
www.cirota.ru - orphans of Russia and CIS countries. Anyone who cares about the problem of orphans.
http://community.livejournal.com/semja_rebenku - online community "Family for a child"
http://community.livejournal.com/detdom/ - community about orphanages. Here we discuss the problems of orphanages, the problems of children living and growing up without parents.
http://www.invisible-children.org - the charitable community "Invisible Children" helps orphans find bosses and pen pals
http://community.livejournal.com/kinderhilfe/ - website of the "Invisible Children" community, which helps orphans find bosses and pen pals
http://www.hopeww.ru/ - website of the Hope Around the World Charitable Foundation. The main direction of the fund is social adaptation children in orphanages and boarding schools, disabled children, as well as single pensioners and WWII veterans.
http://www.rusbereza.ru/ - website of the Charitable Foundation for Assistance to Orphans and Large Families
http://mama-2.ru/ - website of the Krasnodar regional public organization "Second Mother", helping orphans
http://assistancerussia.org - website of the public charitable foundation "Assistance", the purpose of which is free support and comprehensive assistance to orphans. The site is dedicated to the problem of orphans in St. Petersburg and the involvement of broad sections of society in solving it.
http://pomosch-detyam.by.ru/ - “We are together” program for children from orphanages in the Yaroslavl region. The program is dedicated to the memory of Valery Kharitonov.
© Essentials Collection/ iStock. Ekaterina Tamilina/ Higher School of Economics
On average, each child in an orphanage receives 19 gifts for the New Year. If you think this is good, you are wrong. How toys and gadgets prevent orphanage graduates from socializing and how to properly participate in charity were discussed on December 8 at round table, organized by the HSE charitable organization "Open Your Eyes" together with .
Leaders of charitable projects, psychologists and other specialists told how to help without causing harm.
Elena Alshanskaya
President of the Volunteers to Help Orphans charity foundation
Ruslana Yatsenko
Psychologist, specialist in working with orphans
Mila Geranina
Coordinator of the project “All together against scammers”
Nailya Novozhilova
Chairman of the Board of the Charitable Foundation "Arithmetic of Good"
Elizaveta Muravkina
President of the Galchonok Charitable Foundation
Ekaterina Grishunina
Head of the project “Taking advantage of this opportunity”
Natalia Tolochenko
Head of Corporate Social Responsibility for the Moscow and North-West regions of Coca-Cola HBC Russia
Anna Chuprakova
Director of the charitable foundation "Bureau of Good Deeds"
As a result of the discussion, we made a checklist for conscious New Year's charity.
How not to help?
“We make gifts for the soul, not for show,” noted the director of the HSE Center for Leadership and Volunteering at the beginning of the meeting. But it turns out that even gifts made from the heart can turn out to be evil for the recipient. “Everyone wants to become a little wizard, and we need to make sure that the magic is not black,” said Irina Vorobyova, a journalist at Ekho Moskvy and the moderator of the meeting.
Here's what you definitely shouldn't do so as not to turn a New Year's miracle into “doing good.”
Giving gifts to children you don't know
Experts are clearly against huge bags of gifts that are brought to orphanages “from sponsors.” And the problem is not only that they have no soul. These are gifts to unknown children from unknown adults.
Elena Alshanskaya, President of the Volunteers to Help Orphans charity foundation:“Such gifts blur the boundaries between what is foreign and what is not. You tell your children: “Don’t take anything from strangers.” But this is what we teach children in orphanages: “Take everything from strangers and hug them!” In general, in our culture it is not accepted that children are given gifts by strangers. But an orphanage resident gets used to this, and if an unfamiliar uncle or aunt starts hugging him or giving him something, he perceives this as the norm. And outside the orphanage, adults rarely do this with good intentions. And that’s why our students more often become victims of unpleasant relationships.”
You can please your child with a gift if you have become his mentor, that is, you visit him regularly and know his needs and interests.
Give material gifts
In fact, orphanages receive many gifts for the New Year - from the state, sponsoring companies, and private donors. Regardless of how much the gift costs, it traumatizes the child’s psyche and prevents him from socializing, studying and looking for work in the future.
Elena Alshanskaya:“When we start building for a child from an orphanage beautiful life with holidays and gifts, he experiences positive emotions, but due to a lack of communication, he becomes addicted to the “thing” drug. That is, by giving gifts, you are raising a person who will really want an iPhone, but will not want normal human relationships.”
Ruslana Yatsenko, psychologist, specialist in working with orphans:“I work a lot with graduates of orphanages, and during this time I noticed that some children, when they grow up, replace any relationship with gifts. They try to express themselves solely by the level of income and the number of gifts they can give to their peers. Children believe that the one who is given gifts by teachers and visitors is cool, and the one who is not is a sucker. And if children start communicating with a person, and then he doesn’t give them anything, they are at a loss. Often the thought occurs to them: “We need to promote this person for gifts.” We really had problems when the mentor came without a gift, and for the child it was something incomprehensible: “Why do I need this person if he doesn’t give gifts?” It takes years to change this attitude.”
Give money and gifts to dubious organizations
If you have any doubts about the integrity of the organization involved in the collection, contact experts who will help you recognize scammers. The first signs of fraud: boxes for collecting money, lack of feedback and reporting, and insufficiently specific collection goals - verified funds never collect money for abstract “gifts”, but always clarify what exactly is needed.
Mila Geranina, coordinator of the project “All together against scammers”:“Who are these scammers? Anyone can be a fraudster. These can be both those who call themselves activists and those who call themselves foundations, but in fact are not. And, unfortunately, representatives of the orphanage can be scammers - corruption has not been canceled either. Any direct transfer of money without some kind of expert opinion is also a type of fraud. You don’t need to figure out whether this is a scammer or not - there are organizations that help orphanages, to which you need to contact with this question. If they tell you that they need gifts, then they really need them. But you don’t need to “do good” yourself.”
What is really needed?
Caring and communication
A child has a very high dependence on an adult, so nature has developed such a mechanism as attachment. What distinguishes a child from an orphanage from a child at home is that the orphanage child does not have these attachment relationships, does not have a personal adult. And this is a basic, basic need. The longer a child does not have his own adult, the worse his personality develops.
Nailya Novozhilova, Chairman of the Board of the Arithmetic of Good Charitable Foundation:“There is such a thing as a “significant adult.” And this is exactly what the child needs, as well as social and everyday skills. This is a priority because children lack a constant significant adult. You can teach them how to build social relationships and show them the outside world.”
Become a friend to your child. Visit him regularly and communicate, showing that a sign of love and care is not only a gift, but also long conversations and time spent together.
Children in orphanages always lack a “significant adult”, and best help It will be a new mentor, not a package of paints.
It is important to understand that becoming a mentor for a child is not so easy - you need desire and willingness to devote time to this work. It is also important to take special courses and not abandon the child after two or three visits. This is a very serious and regular story.
Knowledge
Experts emphasized that it is important to look at the “future” of the gift: how it will affect the child and whether it will help in the future. For some reason, many people forget that you can give not only material things, but also life experience, money to pay tutors and mentors, and books.
Ekaterina Grishunina, head of the “Taking this Opportunity” project:“Education is one of the most accessible ways to move up the social ladder. That is why, by helping children from orphanages become smarter, we make sure that in the future they can be full-fledged and productive members of society.”
Money for specific needs
Experts urge donations not just for the sake of it, but for specialized projects that have a purpose.
Ekaterina Grishunina:“On our “Taking an Opportunity” platform, if a person wants to help, he selects a specific case or internal project that fulfills some target task. I look at these amounts [money raised on the platform. — approx. edit] and I always dream that people who spend a lot of money on gifts would simply go to “Take advantage of this opportunity” and complete a specific goal. What confuses people is that the money goes not specifically to helping children, but to their education.”
Elizaveta Muravkina:“At our foundation, the volunteer coordinator makes mailings with small needs, and you can always subscribe to this mailing list. We need to help in this way, because we [charitable foundations. — approx. edit] we know what a particular child needs at a particular moment.”
Donations need to be made not only to orphanages, but also to the elderly, the sick, and young adults, because such collections are difficult.
Socialization
Gifts may be taken away from children, but impressions, knowledge and experience will remain forever. Therefore, experts advise organizing events in orphanages aimed at socializing orphanages, and not at entertainment.
Natalia Tolochenko, head of corporate social responsibility for the Moscow and North-West regions of Coca-Cola HBC Russia: “This year we are planning to hold events that will be organized by completely different guys - with different social status, with different physical and mental capabilities. These events will take place on the territory of their institutions, where they themselves will learn to create a New Year's mood. There will be learning areas where children can learn something. The point is that children exchange contacts, they learn to communicate and socialize.”
Experts recommend organizing events that give children from orphanages useful knowledge and skills that will be useful after graduation. To do this, you can hold lectures, career guidance events and open lessons.
Elena Alshanskaya:“It is important to understand what the child’s prospects are. In a good way, at events you need to draw out the potential from children and remove entertainment, because it will only teach children relaxed consumption. They will not be able to work and think about the future. Therefore, we need help with choosing a university, with self-determination. Master classes and holidays are only part of communication, but not the main form. Imagine if teachers didn’t teach us, but only showed us how to weave with beads. We need to give normal opportunities, not useless skills. It is necessary for the child to leave the orphanage and have the opportunity to compete with you in the labor market.”
Experts are also against mass events. For a child from an orphanage, going to the cinema or theater alone, rather than in a group, is an unusual and very pleasant experience.
How to act correctly?
Help systematically
Children need help throughout the year, not just on holidays. Therefore, experts call for donating money to permanent projects or connecting recurring payments.
Anna Chuprakova, director of the Bureau of Good Deeds charity foundation:“Helping once a year and then forgetting about it is wrong. It’s better to invest money in a project that works not only in December, but all year round.”
Contact expert funds
Foundations know how to transform available resources, even the usual 500 rubles from a student, into the help you need. As with any transformation, 80% of the effort turns into 20% of the benefits, so there is no need to blame expert funds for inefficiency.
Nailya Novozhilova:“Experts know the desires of specific beneficiaries, understand the amount of resources, capabilities and tasks of companies and can use them correctly.”
Track results
One of the main principles of conscious philanthropy is the belief that the donations are beneficial.
It is important not to scatter yourself among many funds and not to forget about donations, but to choose one project and work with it until a visible result appears. Decent organizations give feedback and provide reports, so you can easily verify that your money or gifts actually made someone's life better.
Spread the word
We don’t talk much about charity, and many people “do good” only out of ignorance. That's why experts say spreading the word is just as important as donating and volunteering.
Anna Chuprakova:“It’s important not just to contribute your 100 or 200 rubles, but to tell your friends and colleagues: “I alone can only do so much, let’s all get together and do it.”
Conduct scientific research
The experts asked students to conduct any type of research on this topic - from sociological to psychological, because the research conducted by the foundations does not have official status, and it is sometimes not enough.
Elena Alshanskaya:“We suffer greatly from the lack of scientific research on this topic in our country. And the existing works that I have read are of very low quality. We, as experts, try to tell you what needs to be studied, and you have the opportunity to explore some things that are very important to us during your studies.”
conclusions
Orphans really need your help. But paints, cookies and toys, which are brought in tons to orphanages for the New Year, are not only unnecessary - they are harmful. Instead of giving gifts to strangers, it is better to donate money for their education and socialization. And the best New Year’s miracle you can create for a child is to become a volunteer and give attention, friendship, communication and experience.
Useful links and funds
"Take this opportunity to" . Here you can create a charity event and raise money for foundations.
Charitable Foundation "Galchonok". Helps children with central nervous system injuries, orphans and children from low-income families.
"Volunteers to help orphans". A foundation that raises money for the education of orphans and financial assistance children's institutions. Here you can transfer funds or become a volunteer.
"Our children". The foundation takes care of children by teaching them useful skills. The New Year's event “Give skills instead of toys!” is held here.
Foundation for the support of the deaf-blind “Connection”. Here you can learn to communicate with deaf-blind people, become a tutor for them and donate money.
