Young people need to think about many things before the wedding. One of them is matchmaking. What kind of tradition is this? The matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom is a very important point.
This holiday is one of the most important in the lives of young people, their family and friends. Of course, the groom’s matchmaking scenario needs to be bright, cheerful, unforgettable, and original. So what should we do?
Matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom - the move must be thought out
In any case, the program should be extremely interesting. A good matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom includes interesting, witty toasts, congratulations, songs, and competitions. The main thing is to think everything through carefully. This will help the young man and his “team” not to get into trouble and to show off their subtle sense of humor, eloquence and erudition among future relatives.
What does matchmaking look like today?
What can be said about modern traditions? The matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom today is particularly dynamic. As a rule, on the day chosen by the young couple, at the exact time specified, the future spouse must come to the parents of his beloved girl. Naturally, he must be beautifully dressed and have flowers with him. The proposal to the bride is made in front of her parents. The groom must describe his feelings for their daughter before he asks for her hand in marriage. With the consent of the parents, the bride's hand is placed in the hand of the future son-in-law.
If the father-in-law and mother-in-law were unable to attend the matchmaking for some reason, the newlyweds also go to them. The groom should introduce her to his parents, and she should give the “second mother” a bouquet of flowers.
Well, if a couple has been together for a long time, and everyone knows each other well, the celebration can be made especially fun and fiery, according to the traditions and customs of each family. By the way, not only relatives, but also friends and girlfriends of the newlyweds gather for such events.
Bride's wedding
So what should the scenarios be? The bride's matchmaking scenario begins with the so-called “bride meeting”. Relatives and friends of the groom should at this moment identify all her shortcomings and advantages, and also assess how ready she is for family life.
They can pass in a comic form. You can ask the bride and her parents whether she is ready to lay out lush and new feather beds for her husband, serve soft down pillows, embroider shirts for him, weave carpets, cook delicious borscht, etc. In general, it’s not at all difficult to come up with such fun questions.
You can also hold interesting competitions for the bride’s knowledge in the field of cooking, child care and other household matters. You just need to show a little imagination.
Matchmakers' tasks
So, you've reviewed a wide variety of scenarios. The bride's matchmaking scenario was eventually chosen. Be that as it may, all options have one main point in common. Together with the groom, an elder - a representative adult man - must come to the bride's house. This could be a father, a brother, a grandfather, an uncle, etc. It is the matchmaker who declares at the very threshold why they came. At this time, the groom only answers questions from the bride’s parents.
Matchmakers, of course, try their best to praise their future husband. They tell how skillful and good, strong and brave he is. They also talk about his lifestyle, education, occupation, and wealth. Bottom line: the groom is the perfect man!
Thus, the young man must please the bride’s parents. Accordingly, both he and the matchmakers must do everything possible for this. Jokes, speeches, gifts are components present in the celebration in addition to the feelings of love and tenderness of the young couple.
What do matchmakers do?
The matchmaker representing the groom must tie himself with a towel and bow at the waist to the bride's parents and all her friends and relatives. After this, the speech begins... A lot can be said here: about how long it took to raise such a wonderful guy, how wonderfully he was raised, how smart and noble he is. In general, it’s about the same thing that matchmakers do.
The culmination of the speech can be a story in folk style about a wondrous dream (about a red maiden). The “Prince” supposedly saw her in his dreams and knew in his heart where to look for her. And so he came for his chosen one.
At this moment, the matchmaker on the bride’s side can begin to offer the groom different options, because there are enough girls in the house (girlfriends, sisters, close friends of the young woman). This event ends with the future husband choosing exactly the one he really needs.
Dowry
This moment is one of the most important ones affecting the bride's matchmaking. The modern scenario requires a solution to the dowry issue. The young man has every right to inquire about its availability. True, before this it is necessary to briefly describe once again your feelings for your chosen one, talk about how he will take care of her, protect her and not let her be offended. That is, the groom must say everything that the girl’s parents would like to hear. After their consent to the upcoming marriage, a dowry can be discussed.
In general, many issues are resolved during matchmaking. One of them is the dowry. This tradition has come to us since ancient times, so it must be preserved.
Requisites
So, what will matchmakers need for this ceremony? What details should be used and why? The bride's matchmaking ceremony, the scenario of which is carefully thought out in advance, presupposes the presence of some obligatory things.
First, you will need a towel. It is given to the newlyweds after the wedding. By the way, it can be used for registering a marriage, for a wedding, and for receiving the first child on the threshold of the maternity hospital.
The next point is round bread or loaf. As soon as the bride and her parents agree, it is cut and distributed to the guests.
Festive table
Don’t forget about the next factor when thinking through the scenario. The bride's matchmaking also presupposes the presence of treats. Of course, it is not necessary to set a luxurious table. However, the bride’s parents are required to at least organize a buffet reception. Otherwise, they will look like inhospitable people. Moreover, perhaps the groom’s parents and matchmakers will come from afar.
The table is set after the elder has spoken with a story about who they are and where they came from, for what purpose, and what obstacles awaited them on the road.
This is followed by a “test” of the bride and groom - whether they are suitable for each other. Poems and songs can just be accompanied by treats from the buffet table. Once these events come to an end, everyone can sit down at a more “serious” table, relaxing in a relaxed atmosphere.
In a word, matchmaking requires a lot of interesting moments on the part of the groom. Let's create the best scenario! Add some funny rhymes to it!
For example, the first matchmaker begins his solemn speech like this:
“Whether you were waiting for us or not,
Serve lunch!
We came from afar
Our road is not easy.
Our boyfriend decided to get married
Guess who?
Give us the bride,
Let us into the house!”
There can be many options. The main thing is to clarify that the groom loves his chosen one very much, cannot live without her, and that is why he came to offer her his hand and heart.
The second matchmaker continues the ritual. The words might be something like this:
“We are merchants, you have goods,
A gift for our groom.
Don't be silent, speak up
Look at their love!
The word "no" is longer than "yes"
There is nothing to think about then!
Will your daughter marry?
We are waiting for what you have to say! Here!"
The second poem should symbolize the promise of a happy marriage and family life. You can come up with words yourself or find them in specialized literature.
After such verses, friends and relatives of the groom can speak. But it is the hero of the occasion who completes the process. That is, he says something like:
“Your daughter, my relatives,
I seriously loved it.
Only this little man
He opened my heart to me.
And now I want to get married
And I ask for her hand,
You won't refuse, I hope?
I’m ready to do anything for this!”
As a result, further tests may be arranged for the guy. Otherwise the bride will not be given to him.
Think about flowers and gifts
The matchmaking scenario on the part of the groom is not all that needs to be taken care of. The bride and her parents should not forget about flowers and gifts. Such gifts can also be accompanied by some interesting speeches or poems, for example:
“Our bouquet is for the bride,
May it bloom for two hundred years!”
“Well, for the future mother-in-law,
Sorry, the bouquet is a little simpler!”
Of course, they give the bride’s relatives, and herself, not only flowers, but also a variety of souvenirs and sweets (sweets, cakes, pastries, other confectionery products). To such a gift you can add something like the following lines:
“We give you marmalade,
May there be peace and harmony in the family!”
“Here is a box of chocolates,
May you live for many years
And they adored each other
And they appreciated and respected!”
A gift is also being prepared for the future father-in-law. It should be some kind of “purely masculine” item. For example, a tie or extension cord, to which the following words can be associated:
“Let them live together for a long time!
We’re giving a long wire (tie) to my father-in-law!”
After matchmaking
Thus, this event is characterized by fun, an atmosphere filled with love and tenderness of the future newlyweds. A matchmaking scenario in a modern style allows you to properly celebrate such an event. Nevertheless, after all the rituals described above, the time comes to resolve general organizational issues.
What are these? As a rule, the parents of both the bride and groom decide on issues of gifts, payment for the upcoming wedding (cars, banquet, number of guests, etc.). Children can participate in this discussion. However, parents often exclude them from solving such problems. That is, each family, of course, can act in its own way. The most important thing is to figure out who will do what, what to do, what issues to solve.
Observance of wedding rituals is very important
In general, it is not difficult to understand how to conduct matchmaking on the part of the groom. You just need to think through every detail of your scenario in advance.
Unfortunately, today very few people observe wedding rituals. But this is completely in vain. Matchmaking is a colorful ceremony filled with fun. Accordingly, it can become a real highlight of your wedding. Depending on your preferences and desires, you can spend it as you see fit, but the main thing is bright and beautiful!
In any case, after the groom asks the bride’s parents for her hand in marriage, they bless the newlyweds, holding icons of the Savior and the Mother of God in their hands.
Beautifully and elegantly dressed matchmakers and the future husband, who are trying to show their best side, must necessarily prove that the bride made the right choice and that he is worthy of her. By the way, sometimes a girl is not given the opportunity to be present at the matchmaking. Her parents simply have every right to ask a variety of sensitive questions, for example, about the financial situation of the groom, about living conditions, about his worldview, about his attitude towards family, marriage and children.
However, the issue of matchmaking is a personal matter for everyone. How it will go is up to the young people and their parents to decide! The main thing is that everything should be remembered by guests and hosts. A carefully planned event leaves extremely positive emotions! You just need to put in a little effort!
If matchmaking occurs on the part of the bride, we will consider what to say and how to behave in this material. In the old days, matchmaking was associated with a large number of signs and traditions that were strictly observed. The first and most important sign is that the better the matchmaking went, the better and happier the couple’s family life will be.
Of course, the importance of observing traditions during matchmaking has not been disputed. It was a day of respect for the ancestors, who, of course, watched everything and could bring happiness and prosperity to the young family, ward off misfortune and simply help in difficult times. Excellent cheerful and beautiful.
How to behave during matchmaking
If you watch a modern video on the topic of matchmaking on the part of the bride, what can I say, then it will, of course, be different from what happened before. A hundred years ago in Rus', matchmaking lasted for a week. On one day they matched the bride, on the second the parents got to know each other better, then there was a bridesmaid ceremony and an engagement party.
Plus, to these important stages, which are described above, you can add a ritual when the bride’s relatives came to look at the groom’s house and household, when the bride’s singing took place at a noisy feast, and then the matchmaking was considered completely accomplished and to refuse marriage after this was considered a great sin and shame.
How to get married
It all started with the fact that an agreement was concluded before the wedding. It was discussed with the matchmakers who came to the bride’s house what the groom was like and why he wanted the chosen bride as his wife. The first stage of negotiations was conducted by a local matchmaker.
When consent was received from the bride's relatives to accept matchmakers from the groom, a festive treat was presented and the matchmakers were seated at the table. A long conversation took place, during which the families got to know each other, had fun, competed in wit and discussed issues important for the future family. How beautiful in prose and poetry.
Interesting! An ancient custom says that during matchmaking, the bride should sit on the stove and carefully remove the ashes so as not to stain her best outfit, which she puts on for this purpose.
Again, there were many different folk signs when, judging by the behavior of the bride, the matchmakers could understand whether the groom was nice to her. For example, if a girl started moving from the threshold to the stove, it meant that she liked the groom. If she swept the floor from the stove to the threshold, then with such a gesture she drove away the matchmakers.
So, the exact matchmaking scenario on the part of the bride is no longer necessary to say. But certain rituals, still, as a tribute to antiquity and traditions, must be observed. The bride's relatives must treat the matchmakers, and during the meal tell them how their girl is a jack of all trades. Also tell or at least hint about what kind of dowry awaits. A good omen is the arrival of matchmakers on odd dates on the calendar.
Shows are being held
Matchmaking on the part of the bride, what to tell the bride's parents? Most likely, you will have to talk a lot during the screening. They pass after the first treat and the girl must show the groom’s relatives what she can do and look at her dowry.
It is customary for a girl to change her outfit three times during the show. After this, the young man once again discussed the girl’s merits with his relatives and drank a full mug of intoxicating mead if he liked the girl and definitely intended to marry her. If the groom only had a drink, this indicated that he was rejecting the bride. If after the viewing both parties are ready for marriage, then an engagement was concluded.
Interesting folk traditions for matchmaking:
*Mourning of the bride’s braid was carried out just before the engagement. The braid was a symbol of unmarried freedom, and the bride and her bridesmaids mourned this freedom. This custom has been preserved since pagan times, when after marriage the husband cut his wife’s braid and thus gave it to the bride’s family as a sign of kinship.
*After the engagement has been concluded, the bride's family must pay a return visit to the groom's house to evaluate the household.
*Singing is another interesting folk tradition, which is rarely observed today, but is colorful and interesting in itself. After agreeing on the wedding date, the guy and the girl were put together for the first time and on a bearskin. This ceremony was carried out so that the young would have many children.
Do you need gifts for matchmaking?
In the old days, it was believed that the future mother-in-law should be given a scarf, and the reconciliation and other relatives should be given a piece of flax. Nowadays, you can choose gifts yourself depending on the financial situation of the family.
So what can we say?
Nowadays, of course, the young people themselves get to know each other first, and when they decide to get married, they already introduce their parents. This is called matchmaking. On this day, the bride's parents can ask the groom about plans for the future, what kind of future family he sees, about his habits and preferences in life. When they get married.
When meeting the groom's parents, the bride is advised to remain silent. The conversation should be controlled by the elders at the table, that is, the parents. You should eat and drink less, of course, don’t worry. Talk to parents respectfully and not interfere in conversations with elders. Today you are turning into children again and it is your parents who are in charge. That's what matchmaking is for.
Matchmaking on the part of the bride, you already know what to say and do. You can try to do everything not cutesy, but with a folk Russian scope. Each matchmaking tradition is bright and interesting; it will definitely help you remember this important day of meeting your relatives for many years.
For a long time in Rus', the ceremony of matchmaking was as important as the wedding. The girls were looking forward to the matchmakers coming into their house. Years have passed, views have changed, and today this tradition has practically sunk into oblivion. But if in the near future you are going to experience matchmaking on the part of the bride, what to say and how to behave are issues of paramount importance.
Ticket to get married
Half a century ago, it all began not with an agreement between young people, but with a meeting of matchmakers in the bride’s house. All candidates for the role of future wife were always on their account.
In Rus' there were even special signs:
- You should not schedule matchmaking for Wednesday or Friday, especially if these days of the week fell on the 13th of the month.
- When entering a house, matchmakers had to rest their hand on the doorframe without the owners noticing for the success of the event.
- Guests were supposed to sit under a ceiling beam, as it was believed that it brought good luck.
- It was a good tradition for the bride to buy something new for the house, such as curtains, bed linen or a tablecloth.
In case of a positive response from the bride and her parents, the matchmakers agreed on the next stage - the bride's party. At this ceremony, the bride and groom were given a place of honor in the center of the table, and the guests, drinking tea, praised one or the other. At the end of the event, parents from both sides went outside and exchanged their impressions.
An equally important and necessary moment in the pre-wedding preparation was the engagement. On this day, godmothers and fathers, as well as parents, blessed the couple for a happy family life. The engagement ended with the singing of ritual songs and a feast, which is where the next tradition came from - drinking the bride to drink. And in the city, the engagement was supplemented by the need for a church agreement. So, if the priest was not against marriage, then the newlyweds were given a “ticket to get married.”
Not for words
Today everything happens much simpler. The groom does not need to appear at the bride's house several times to please her relatives. And the bride herself does not mind getting married faster, so most of these customs are omitted.
But so that at the crucial moment of matchmaking, the parents and guests on the bride’s side do not figure out what to say, it is advisable to write a script in advance and distribute the words to everyone. As an example, you can take this option:
- After the matchmakers have described all the advantages of the groom and made their opening speech, the floor passes to the bride's matchmaker or presenter.
Presenter: Wait, wait, where are you rushing? Do you know for sure that everything is agreed upon? After all, today’s youth are unpredictable: they will say “yes”, but tomorrow they will change their mind and answer “no”. You see, our girl doesn’t want to go out. Maybe let the groom try to call her?
- A young man calls out to his beloved at the top of his voice. But instead of her, a friend comes into the room - all decorated, with a hairstyle and in a short skirt. He sits down on a chair and crosses his legs.
Presenter: Here, dear, is your bride. Just look how fashionable and bright she is, you can see such a beauty a hundred kilometers away, but you won’t let her go anywhere. She has no end to suitors, but you see, she chose you.
- The young man replies that this is not his bride.
Presenter: What, didn’t you like the girl? How could it be, but we tried! But you apparently called quietly.
- The guy calls his bride even louder. A modest girl enters the room.
Presenter: Oh, this one is definitely yours! And modest, and blush, even reads books. Everything is as you described. Take it!
- The groom again says that this girl is good, but not his favorite.
Presenter: Are you wrong again? Maybe you can add some kind words to your cry, then the bride will come out?
- The young man screams with all his might. A girl in an apron and with a broom comes out into the hall.
Presenter: Look, what a hostess, a craftswoman. It sure cooks delicious food. With such a hostess, your socks will always be clean.
Groom: Matchmaker, dear, stop fooling me. Serve mine here immediately (says the bride’s name), otherwise I’ll leave! I have no time to stand here with you.
- The guy's lover comes out.
Matchmaker from the groom's side: Well, darling, is your girlfriend? Your beloved betrothed?
- The guy replies that it is her. Then the matchmaker or the groom himself proposes marriage to the girl.
Presenter: Hey, wait, wait. You are too young and daring. Who does this? It is necessary to first present gifts to the bride and her parents.
- The young man gives gifts to all his relatives and again asks the question whether the girl is ready to marry him. The bride answers in the affirmative.
Presenter: Now everything went like clockwork. It's time to relax and soak your mustache in beer.
- Guests are invited to the festive table.
Using this example, you can write your own cool matchmaking script on the part of the bride or supplement an existing one with your own ideas. For example, it will be very funny if, instead of bridesmaids, men in disguise come into the room. By the way, you can also write words for each of them.
So that guests don't get bored
Usually, not only the greeting procedure itself takes place in a constrained atmosphere, but also when the guests sit down at the table, it is necessary to help them relax and start communicating. Toasts from the parents, friends and relatives of the bride are very good for this at matchmaking. They, as the owners of the house, start this tradition, and then the guests from the other side pick it up. It would be very helpful if you captured all your wishes on video.
Sample options for table toasts:
- “With all my heart I want to wish that the right notes are always present in your union:
- “Do you know why many families live until their silver, gold and diamond weddings? Their secret is simple - over the years they do not forget to pay attention to each other. Constant interest in the affairs of the spouse, warmth in relationships and understanding in the eyes - these are the main points of family life. Likewise, I want to wish you to be attentive to your soul mate, always love each other, treat each other with understanding in everything and everywhere!”
- to - goodness, love and happiness!;
- si - systemic replenishment of the treasury;
- la - wish for yourself;
- salt - a refrigerator full of food;
- fa - fantastic luck in everything;
- mi - minimum quarrels;
- re - regular vacation together;
- to - prosperity in everything;
- “It is very difficult to find the embodiment of the second “I” in this world. It’s ideal when your woman complements you in everything, understands and loves you. Then you are ready to answer her in kind and even exalt everything a hundredfold. We want to wish the groom good luck, and may his marriage proposal succeed today! And we offer a drink for those who control fortune - for the parents!”
Matchmaking traditions are ancient customs and procedures performed to obtain permission from the bride's parents for marriage. Today, matchmaking is rather a tribute and respect to the past, because young people make the decision to conduct the ceremony regardless of the opinion of their parents. The article describes how matchmaking should be carried out correctly on the part of the groom, what to say to the matchmakers and what signs there are for the bride's friends for matchmaking.
Matchmaking tradition
Young people who have secured the consent of their chosen one for marriage, as a rule, relax. They believe that all the frightening and exciting moments are left behind. It's hard to imagine a more exciting event than a marriage proposal. Doubts and fear of being rejected will make even confident men pretty nervous. But the real test awaits the groom a little later. As soon as a young man relaxes and calms down in anticipation of a fateful day, suddenly matchmaking “appears” on the horizon of events.
Matchmaking was necessary in order to introduce the parents and relatives of the bride and groom. In Rus', the word of the father of the family carried enormous weight, and if he refused, the wedding might not take place at all. Therefore, the main thing for the groom’s matchmakers was to make a favorable impression on the bride’s father and present the “daring merchant” in a favorable light. The bride’s side had to provide a worthy reception, thereby showing that they were not in poverty, and that receiving grooms was almost a daily routine for them.
Now, when the decision to marry is made by two independent adults, matchmaking is nothing more than a tribute to tradition and fun for the older generation. A young couple, as a rule, does not deny such small things to their relatives, which does not detract from the importance and experiences associated with arranging matchmaking.
Why do matchmaking?
Before making a decision about marriage, young people introduce their chosen ones to their parents in advance. Matchmaking is necessary for introducing parents and relatives to each other, as well as for discussing the organization of wedding celebrations and solving the financial side of the matter. Modern realities are such that it is rare for young people to be able to handle a holiday on their own.
The traditional part of matchmaking on the part of the groom
You need to know in advance what to tell the matchmakers. Antique costumes serve more as an entertaining part of the meeting, so that everyone gets into the spirit of the upcoming event. However, omitting this part would be the wrong decision, then everything would become too official, “without a soul” and not “in Russian.”
Who can be the groom's matchmaker?
Matchmakers on the groom's side do not have to be relatives. You can choose a close friend for the honorary role. The main requirement is a lively character, lack of excessive modesty and an excellent sense of humor, coupled with the ability to drink strong drinks. The words of the matchmakers on the part of the groom at the matchmaking may seem strange, outdated and even slightly provocative; it is important that the chosen person does not stammer or blush while making a speech.
There are also no age restrictions when choosing matchmakers. Young people, as a rule, are more “punchy” and persistent, they take things “impudently” and with courage. Older people may already know what to say to matchmakers and will quickly find a common language with the bride’s parents.
The groom was accompanied to the matchmaking by his father or godfather as moral support. It was not forbidden to choose a woman as a matchmaker, but a visit to the bride’s house should have looked random, as if “they were passing by” - they decided to look in, and then “a flower grew in the garden.” Therefore, it is not customary for a large and noisy crowd to come to matchmaking.
How to dress for matchmakers
The clothes of matchmakers in the past were neat and elegant, but in general they differed little from everyday ones. Men wore an embroidered shirt and the best boots, women wore light makeup and wore a kokoshnik instead of a scarf. A distinctive feature of the matchmakers were embroidered towels tied over the shoulder. The bride and groom were supposed to dress smartly in everything new.
Today, relatives and young people must decide for themselves whether they will wear traditional costumes or not. If the matchmakers don’t mind, then it’s acceptable if only they wear the suits. In fact, it will be enough to tie the ribbon over your regular clothes.
Responsibilities of matchmakers on the part of the groom
The task of the matchmakers on the part of the groom is to conduct a conversation about the wedding smoothly and easily, but at the same time with hints and omissions. This tradition is associated with a possible refusal, which was a blow to the groom’s good name. When the request was expressed vaguely and vaguely, then the refusal should have been made in the same form, which was considered less offensive.
Matchmakers had to be quick-witted and understand hints and unspoken phrases. There is a whole list of phrases and sayings that should be said to the groom’s matchmakers during matchmaking. Sayings vary slightly depending on the region of the country.
The image above shows examples of what to say in matchmaking to the bride and groom's matchmakers. The list includes forms for consent and polite refusal. The phrase: “Thank you for love, matchmaker; but now we don’t want to give away the girls” - meant that the parents doubted and asked for time to think, but did not completely refuse and would accept the matchmakers another time.
Why do you need parental blessing?
In Rus', the father of the family had the final say in permission for a wedding. Very often, the basis for consent was the groom and the bride's family. Often the bride was against her father’s decision, but did not have the right to object or challenge it. This state of affairs was typical not only for peasant and merchant families, but also among the nobility.
In Russian painting, a large number of works are dedicated to unhappy brides. But such cases were not common practice. Parents loved their children and in most cases were interested in their opinion before agreeing to marriage, although they tried to influence their children. “Wealth is not where you go, but what you acquire”- one of the possible response phrases of the groom’s matchmakers, if the financial condition was a sensitive topic.
The opinion of parents even now is of great importance, so the approval of the closest and dearest people in the life of the bride and groom plays an important role. This is another reason to arrange matchmaking. Even if the relationship between the groom and the bride’s parents is not the warmest, matchmaking is an excellent opportunity to try to change an already established opinion.
What should matchmakers do with a loaf?
It is not customary in Russian tradition to go to visit empty-handed. An excellent treat for the bride's table from the groom's matchmakers has always played a huge role in the culture of the Slavs. “Bread is the head of everything,” said the cultivators, millers and bakers.
It is very important to learn what phrases to say to the groom’s matchmakers at the matchmaking ceremony, but it won’t hurt to prepare a loaf of bread either. By presenting skillfully made bread, the groom will show respect to the bride's parents. Also, a young man can take a bouquet of flowers for his future mother-in-law.
What do matchmakers treat?
It was a matter of honor for any family to receive matchmakers richly. People used to say, “A skinny groom will show a great man the way,” so they greeted guests with all the cordiality and hospitality. The dishes on the table depended on the time of year. They always tried to cook the meat of domestic animals or poultry, if the family was rich, a lot of pickles, mushrooms, vegetables, prepared various holiday pies, pies and jam. Many matchmaking sayings are related to food, examples are shown in the image below.
The housewives tried to serve their “signature” dishes; there had to be dishes prepared by the bride on the table. They always told the matchmakers about this and offered to taste and evaluate the skills of the future wife. During matchmaking, it was impossible for the groom to tell the matchmakers that the bride or housewife was incompetent and did not cook well, even if it was true. The bride's parents could quite reasonably be offended and refuse the matchmakers.
Can matchmakers drink alcoholic beverages?
The groom's side is not only allowed to drink strong drinks, but also must. To refuse an offering from the hosts means to express distrust and disrespect for the receiving party. Therefore, when choosing matchmakers, the groom should take into account an important point. The main thing in this matter is without fanaticism, everything should be in moderation. It may be worth discussing in advance with the bride's parents the drinks that should be on the table. Many people prefer low-alcohol drinks to strong ones. A variant of an ostentatious “glass”, drunk for show, is possible, because it is better to discuss the organization of a wedding celebration sober, after all, the purpose of the event is not celebration.
Sayings and traditional sayings of matchmakers from the groom's side
The main task for matchmakers when preparing for matchmaking on the part of the groom is what to say to the bride’s matchmakers. There are no ready-made texts, as such, for memorization. There is a set of standard phrases and sayings that have been preserved from past times. Matchmakers must have considerable eloquence and be able to smoothly and smoothly combine outdated expressions and modern jokes in their speech. The use of many surviving expressions is not always appropriate, because the meaning of some words and combinations eludes modern people.
The list contains not only phrases that the groom’s matchmakers say at the matchmaking ceremony, but also possible answers from the bride’s parents. The receiving party should also be well prepared for the visit and learn a lot of tricky words. In order not to lose face, you need to familiarize yourself with the sample answers and be prepared to answer correctly. Immediately after meeting the owners of the house, the groom's matchmakers had to intricately outline the purpose of their visit. Approximate wording can be found in the list shown in the image above. More modern formulations are also possible, for example “You have a product, we have a merchant”. An explanation of the purpose of the visit is also acceptable in a humorous manner: “You have a lump of dough and we have a lump of dough, is it possible to dump them in one place?”.
Also very colorful are the phrases praising the groom, as well as demands to present the bride for “evaluation” to the matchmakers, for example, “We need not rye or wheat, but a red maiden”. After introducing the matchmakers to each other and parents, mutual assurances of the “quality of the goods” and “the solvency of the merchant,” guests and hosts, accompanied by characteristic phrases, should move to the table with refreshments and discuss the details of the wedding without hints and inaccuracies.
How to determine that matchmaking has taken place?
Initially, one visit to the bride's parents might not have been enough. Either the words of the matchmakers on the part of the groom at the matchmaking were not very convincing, or the bride doubted the correctness of the choice, and the father indulged her, but the groom could ask for permission for the wedding for a long time and repeatedly. Doubts did not arise only in the case of the sincere feelings of the young people, the decent age of the bride, or her lack of a dowry.
Young couples can breathe a sigh of relief if relatives did not quarrel during matchmaking and were able to reach certain agreements, then the event was definitely a success. Even if they were unable to make specific decisions about the date, venue and financial issue of the wedding, this is just an excuse to meet in a quiet and cozy atmosphere for a more serious conversation.
Matchmakers should evaluate their work by the amount of laughter and fun at the meeting. The more the newlyweds and their parents smile, the more confidently we can say that the groom has coped with his responsibilities as matchmakers.
